|Reviews for Heart in a Headlock|
| Guest chapter 12 . 11/20/2014
Thats bullshit.I cant stand these fucking dopey fics written by weird girls who want jake to be both strong and wolfie and like a flaming, simpering weakling for Bella. Jake was the on;ly one in the whole twilight thing that had any sense of pride. There is no fucking way he would deal with this -none. Alternate scenarios are the lifeblood of fanfic. whoever what creativity does it take to pigeon hole charctars so that they fit your world instead of the other way round? None. This actual had a shred of possibility but. You turned Bella into a slut, Jacob into a wimpy asswipe weakling and Edward well who gives a fuck bout him. even your lemons are patheticly weak. Like a 14 year old fumbling at a panty waiste. What a fuck up.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/20/2014
Yes of course its bad but so is this shitty fic, so we are all even. Anyway of course its bad. Dedward cold dead reanimated sack of meat. Pale, skinny, pasty, cold, creepy and a weirdo stalker.
Jake hot, gorgeous, muscular, sexy, warm, kind, funny and kind. To anybody else on the planet it would be a no brainer. Seeing as Bella has no brains or heart or soul or much of anything else human it might be a little more ...complicated. Bella likes cold dead things. she wants a dude who treats her like his favorite doggy. Thats Bellas whole schtik. she doesnt want to make decisions or have to face change or take risks or get old. Got nothing really to do with that sparkling corpse. Bella is a coward and totally without thye courage to live life on its own terms.
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/20/2014
Okaaaaay. So lets see about 50 pages of a book in 3 paragraphs. Moving pretty quick. Thats good since so far this sucks. We have Bella no terribly concerned that Jake got all fucked up for her. So she is her usual sick twisted piece of shit self. Edward of cours is still abusive and controlling. Ok so whats original? Better yet whats good?
| Guest chapter 15 . 5/30/2014
Dull ...boring...same old crap.. Twilight AU is good. But when the characters are unrecognizable then its not really the people we have come to know from the stories.
| Guest chapter 14 . 5/30/2014
Bella is still worried about Edward after he called her a slut _ which granted she is.. After Jake who has done nothing wrong except help Bella and be there, basically giving to Bella while she just..takes...and takes...and takes until there is nothing left. Then Edward who has made every penny he has illegally, makes a disgusting racial insult to Jake about his poverty (since he chose to help his father AND earn his money honestly). So Eddie has shown his true colors. even though he is a mass murderer. Now I'm sure Bella willl try to drop this trainwreck in the indian boys lap. Bella deserves eddie.. his abuse, deceit, manipulation, obsession she deserves all of it.
| Guest chapter 12 . 5/30/2014
Nah. No way Jake is gonna accept that. Never happened.
Girls would think this way. That a guy like Jake would even think about accepting this situation.
Its a perfect opportunity to deny Bella what she wants and force her to start thinking what it would be like to be without Jake. Jake was pretty strong in the books he was never willing to take whatever was offered, he was ALWAYS about all or nothing. This is just more of the same crappy stuff. I guess no one can come up with something with a shred of originality.
| Guest chapter 11 . 5/30/2014
Jacob would be smarter than the moron who wrote this. Jake would not push. Bella is persuaded better when she is denied what she wants. Not when its pushed. Jake would be smart enough to keep his mouth shut, stay is what works with tis dizzy little wack-a-doo. Bella is a liar, a coward and a selfish little girl. Besides having a pussy I see NO reason for Jake to even like her much less love her. She has no redeeming qualities at all.
| Guest chapter 10 . 5/30/2014
I think I wish eddie would slip and rip Bellas head off.
| Guest chapter 9 . 5/30/2014
Now the story is getting stupid. NO WAY Seth is gonna throw Jake under the bus like that. Bella - yes shes a piece of shit, but not Seth. He didnt like Dedward that much. Deward btw is NOT a good guy thats a joke.
Too bad very inconsistent writting here. Its pretty much bella been the agressor and now laying it on Jake.. what a cu*t.
I did have some hope this story would be a little better than the typical twilight dreck.
However it seems you cant resist using every crappy twilight trope and cliche in the fandom.
Oh well - someday a twilight fic with a solid consistent plot will come around, just not today.
| Guest chapter 7 . 5/30/2014
Well Bella is the one that really pushed for it. Th e part with her waking up having "forgotten" what happened did not work so well. Just cant see that happening. The "lemon" was kinda dull..
but you are in Bella's head pretty good. I just cant really care about her, what mron gets married at 18 just to get laid. Thats just dumb. Not to mention its going to be like fu*king a popscicle!
Eddie is not gonna be able to duplicate or even come remotely close to the expierence that Jake just gave her. A virgin having an orgasm her first time? I dont think Dedwards cold, pasty pale skinny ass is going to be able deliver.
| Guest chapter 6 . 5/30/2014
It SHOULD be as if Dedward never existed! Bella needs to understand her "loving" fiance is not alive. He is DEAD. D-E-D, dead! He is a walking sculpture. Nice to look at but cold, hard stone. No passion, no fire. Mentally he is a 17 year old boy from the Victorian age. She can never have with Dedward what she could have with Jake. Passion, heat, warmth are all beyond him. I think Bellas stubbornness and inability to see the bigger picture work against her, much to her detriment. I get that Eddie was her first love but that doesnt mean its a good love. She never seemed appy with Dedward. Everthing was heavy and deep and dark. There was no light, no fun. Who could possibly want that? Forever to boot? Thats just...uhg.
| Guest chapter 5 . 5/29/2014
I guess Jake is to stupid too have curtains. Most guys with any pride would have mad paul swallow his teeth. Not gonna happen in this trainwreck. This is about as contrived as a twilight fic gets on a scale of 1 to 10 its a negative 100
| Guest chapter 2 . 5/29/2014
Bella is almost (almost) as pathetic as this story. Bella is user and a tease.
Jake shouldnt mke up with Bella or apologize. Should be the other way around.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/29/2014
Bella was not supposed to see Jacob anymore. She told they couldnt be friends because they loved each other. So Bella is just going to continue to use Jake and the pack. Then you will contrive a way for Jake and Bella to get together. BORING! Been done a zillion time.
| Treestar2509 chapter 20 . 5/6/2014
One of the best Jacob/Bella stories I have read. Thanks for sharing. :)