Reviews for Heart in a Headlock
Guest chapter 20 . 2/11
Oh my this is...awful.
Guest chapter 16 . 12/3/2015
Bella: "Am I not A good Person?"
Embry: "Yes of course...Uh sorry Bella I wanted to lie to you and tell you that you are a good person. See I was having a brain fart." " Actually Bella you are about the shittiest excuse for a human I've ever come across. You are shallow, dishonest, catty and you use people. You could care less about anybody but yourself. By the way. Nobody left you you moron. You fucked up and fucked Jake over countless times. You used him and tossed him aside. So dont play the victim. You are a worthless asshole. If you really have a shred of decency, leave jake be and go away and dont come back... ever" " Oh yeah uhmmm could I have another drink?

Bella: Sniffles and sobs and blubbers "But I love Jake so much!"
Embry: "sure you do Bella as much as I love getting VD! Got to run along Bella think over what I said. Just trying to help"

Now that would have been something honest for Embry to say.
Guest chapter 16 . 12/3/2015
But wasnt Bella declaring her undying love for the corpse a few chapters ago? How she was engaged and sexing Jake was a mistake? Screetching like a cat when Eddie ran away? Didnt she run to italy for the corpse? See this story is terribly inconsistent. But Jake deserves Better. Better than cold pale creepy Bella
Guest chapter 15 . 12/3/2015
Maybe Jake hasnt called because he finally figured out that you are a looser, Bella. He figured out that no matter what the person you are or any person you might ever be will always be a nightmare.
Maybe he is tired of your bullshit. You made sure to see Eddie but Jake is coming out in second place. Whether that is behind Edward or Behind you does not matter. Maybe Jake knows he would always be behind the curve when it comes to you. Anyway thats probably not going to happen seeing as this writer likes her characters whiny and pathetic.
Guest chapter 14 . 12/3/2015
What will happen now? Uh who gives a shit to be honest. While I could give a shit about Eddie since he is an abusive creep. what he told bella was the gospel truth. She is a slut. Jake didnt take advantage of Bella though. She used Jake. Edward! Oh Edward! Dont runaway I need you to make me dead. Let bella die already - permanently. Then everyone is good to go. Please give Jake Some BALLS already he was not like this in th books, this weak pathtic thing. He is like the male Bella.
Guest chapter 12 . 12/3/2015
She wants to blow smoke up Jakes ass and lock him in since it looks like Eddie is not going to be able to deliver. I can not stand the Bella character. She is shallow. selfish and a total coward and a looser to boot. Why would anyone with any empathy for Jake want them together. Shge derves the agony of forever regreting her choice while Jake goes on to a happy life with someone who loves him. Bella doesnt love him and she doesnt love eddie. She only cares about herself.
Roshimon chapter 13 . 12/3/2015
Without a doubt one of the porrest twi-fics out there. Inconsistant and contrived. My only wish is Bella would die in s painful a manner as possible. I cant even remotely get what Jake sees except that he is desperate for sex. There is nothing in Bella worth loving. She is selfish and self centered. She worships at the cult of death.. She only cares wht people look like. Who they are goes zipping past like stink on the wind. As for Jake. He must be into emotional abuse himself. Eddie treats Bella like she is a downs child. She cant even pick her own meal when he is around. Eddie is abusing her as well as manipulating Bella both sexually and emotionally and Bella is beyond clueless. Nobody throws their life away because of their teen crush _ except in your fucked up tale
its just all so droll and worse it aint even original. Not to mention there is no one to root for. I want Jake to be saddled with Bella abut as much as I want to contract ebola..
BlissfullyBallard chapter 10 . 7/3/2015
Bella you are an idiot!
BlissfullyBallard chapter 8 . 7/3/2015
Damn it, Bella! You need to get out of the dark and embrace the sun!
BlissfullyBallard chapter 7 . 7/3/2015
Oh come on Bella don't ruin this night by thinking about Edward!
BlissfullyBallard chapter 5 . 7/3/2015
Damn it, Paul!
BlissfullyBallard chapter 4 . 7/3/2015
Jake in a towel? Bella walk forward!
Guest chapter 12 . 11/20/2014
Thats bullshit.I cant stand these fucking dopey fics written by weird girls who want jake to be both strong and wolfie and like a flaming, simpering weakling for Bella. Jake was the on;ly one in the whole twilight thing that had any sense of pride. There is no fucking way he would deal with this -none. Alternate scenarios are the lifeblood of fanfic. whoever what creativity does it take to pigeon hole charctars so that they fit your world instead of the other way round? None. This actual had a shred of possibility but. You turned Bella into a slut, Jacob into a wimpy asswipe weakling and Edward well who gives a fuck bout him. even your lemons are patheticly weak. Like a 14 year old fumbling at a panty waiste. What a fuck up.
Guest chapter 1 . 11/20/2014
Yes of course its bad but so is this shitty fic, so we are all even. Anyway of course its bad. Dedward cold dead reanimated sack of meat. Pale, skinny, pasty, cold, creepy and a weirdo stalker.
Jake hot, gorgeous, muscular, sexy, warm, kind, funny and kind. To anybody else on the planet it would be a no brainer. Seeing as Bella has no brains or heart or soul or much of anything else human it might be a little more ...complicated. Bella likes cold dead things. she wants a dude who treats her like his favorite doggy. Thats Bellas whole schtik. she doesnt want to make decisions or have to face change or take risks or get old. Got nothing really to do with that sparkling corpse. Bella is a coward and totally without thye courage to live life on its own terms.
Guest chapter 1 . 11/20/2014
Okaaaaay. So lets see about 50 pages of a book in 3 paragraphs. Moving pretty quick. Thats good since so far this sucks. We have Bella no terribly concerned that Jake got all fucked up for her. So she is her usual sick twisted piece of shit self. Edward of cours is still abusive and controlling. Ok so whats original? Better yet whats good?
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