|Reviews for The Raikage|
| ZarReader chapter 3 . 3h
This story seems to have a very interesting setting and idea behind it, but I find myself bored and skipping through large sections of it. The extremely long-winded explanations and descriptions take away from the story and reduce the quality of the whole. I understand that you are describing ten years of the lives of numerous people, and can certainly appreciate the thought that went into it, but there is a limit to the patience of each reader. I was hoping to suggest that in the future you could take these points into consideration. Consider constructing a series of writing aides using the information on the things you have been describing and then gradually, as the story progresses and that information becomes necessary in understanding the context, include the descriptions in a more active way through more suble means. The point I'm trying to make is that the reader hardly needs to know anything in order to enjoy the story and it is a good idea to offer these insights into the past only every once in a while to maintain suspense and keep the reader interested.
| Ghostwright chapter 2 . 7/28
Your utter disregard for grammar, punctuation and brevity killed the story for me.
| kami sama chapter 1 . 7/17
can anyone recommend any good fan
fic like this
| N-Rogue chapter 3 . 7/15
From what I've seen so far, your story isn't a bad one, but it could definitely use improvement. There are a few spelling mistakes here and there, but the main problem is the flow of your story. Sure, introduce new characters and describe them and the old ones to us, but ONLY when they actually become relevant to the story aside from being a living set piece. (Do you really need so many Kumo-nin for your story?) Walls of text dominate every chapter I've seen so far, and I found myself skipping through them in order to get to the good stuff - try breaking them up into smaller, easier-to-digest pieces so that we don't miss any important information.
| Guest chapter 19 . 7/15
awesome chapter... please update the next chapter fast ... I am dying here.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/9
Cool idea, but you stuff so much unnecessary information into what ends up being run-on paragraphs that have so significant impact on the story.
| FrickleFrackleFun chapter 4 . 7/7
Such a cool story idea. But the glaringly obvious disregard for punctuation and grammar makes it hard to read. : (
| mashiro.chi1 chapter 6 . 7/2
Come on dude, Naruto has 11WIFE! Like ultimate harem or something... which is kinda scary u know... where's the uttery loyal Naruto...? Isn't this kind of super cheat and overkill... -_-'
| mashiro.chi1 chapter 3 . 7/2
Huhhuh, you have hella little OC's, I just read the chapter and I've already forgot their names.. XD
| Fantasy Fan 25 chapter 14 . 7/2
You know what would've made it even better is if you had take the title of Hokage from Konoha. Since only the big five could hold the title of Kage. And Konoha no longer belong in that category.
| Alex chapter 3 . 6/24
FŪ has mint hair and orange eyes
| Naru-chanKURAMA chapter 19 . 6/8
Man don't tell me you discontinued :
| Riddle Wraith chapter 3 . 6/5
You know, I tried reading this. I really, REALLY tried but I just can't. You put in so much unnecessary information that I just don't care about that I can't even read this anymore. Background info is good, but not when it's just a chapter full of it for OCs I'm NEVER going to care about. Not only that, but you skipped the GOOD part right at the fucking beginning. It would have been MUCH more interesting to see Naruto's rise to the role of Raikage and THEN his actions afterward rather than only seeing what he built and what he's doing now. I don't CARE what he's doing now because I haven't even had time to get attached to his character before you threw us into his future. In short, you tried, but the information dump in chapters 2 and 3 really, really kills it.
| Guest chapter 19 . 6/3
Can't wait for next chapter
| Guest chapter 19 . 6/2
Please update! Its a really good fanfiction