Reviews for Incarcerated
jlcummins chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
damn, death and destruction. I am most certainly interested in the sequel AND the Wood. This chapter did not disappoint in any way, but yea...weepy.
brandj chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
Rie…you did it. You finished Inc. Now I must weep! I so didn’t want this one to end. To think, what started out as a two shot grew into four AMAZING chapters!

I wish there were more hours in the day for a proper review. But I will do my best! I so love this story, you and your writing, but I don’t have time to do any of it justice!

“Why didn’t they leave?” B/c dear sweet Edward, they love you! All of them!

“Alice has always known, Edward. She gave me leave,” What we do for those we love. Alice is a strong woman to let her man go like that. She loves him enough to know what makes him happy.

HOT SLASHY LEMON! Was it so bad that it was so hot while everyone (aside from Alice) was dying?

Rie my dear, you are the master of these southern vamps! Amazing…can’t wait for that sequel! ;0)
C-Me-Smile chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
My god... Rie... a sheer glut of words spins in my head trying to convey what this absolutely soul-stirring, heart-shaking, loins-quaking and tears-making chapter did to me. It is - quite simply... *magnificent*.

Utterly gorgeous in its searing beauty, the fiery eroticism (my god... I thought my heart would pound out of my chest reading it!), the rending sorrow, the absolute astounding power of the love and desire that beats at its vampiric heart - a still heart perhaps, but one full and ripe with love and heat and passion and purity of destiny and desire. It made me melt and swoon and cry and I was wrenched with sadness and warmed with the heat of the fire between these gorgeous, manly, heart-scarred dirty angels of golden eyes and glory.

The way you balance the absolute agony of pain with the purity of love and sacrifice, of family and giving and the ultimate transcendence of belonging and destiny, of soul-bonding and sex and lovemaking and lust - carnality and carnage - sacrifice and sweetness - it astounds me. I am quivering, weeping, amazed and utterly awestruck. Truly, I ached - in all the most searing and sweet of ways - reading this, and all the while your words danced and painted and told and showed visions of incredible beauty and gorgeous wanton desire, of bittersweet sorrow and love that burns brightest above all else.

So many words, so many beautiful passages, so many stirring gems scattered within this poetic prose - you are truly gifted, my dear. And this story has me so spun - I love it beyond words. It just shakes me to the core. Wow...

~~

Tall and strong, so fucking blond and lion-like, a predator, a hunter; a warrior, a weapon. The wealth of his mane made a shivering mess of me just through recollection, and it was not just Jasper’s tantalizing body. It was his power of emotion, his affection, his steadfast wit, his own feeling that made him bare his soul to show his life to me. Even, abhorrently, the manner in which he would not leave Alice.

I had to admire his devotion

A man of pride. Honor. Fortitude. Truth and beauty.

~~

My god - beauty, strength, principle, leonine love, humor - all of it captured in those beautiful words; Edward's wild, haunted, sweet soul painting such a vision of his beloved! It moved me to tears.

~~

My home, the Jail was a squat, square structure footed and shouldered by four tall towers. Of crumbling stone, new cement, the rotten timber casements riddled by insects’ eggsacks, there was a gallows tree in the yard and an iron prison of a wagon that had formerly shuttled prisoners to marketplace for heckling and jeering. In the good old days.

Purported to be haunted, housing rumrunners and pirates, serial murderers and the infirm of mind, I was the disturbed monster that stalked its unlit hallways now. Incarcerated of my own free will. Ascetically furnished with the barest of necessities, light lacked through the dim, dusty windows of this falling-to-pieces fortress.

Just like me

~~

How poetically ironic and fitting that Edward should live in an abandoned jail - the perfect symbolism for his shuttered love, the desire he hides behind the bars of his own pride and self-sacrifice, and how beautiful that Jasper comes (and *comes*) to free him from that prison of his own making, breaking the bars with the pure power of their loving, sexy, undeniable union.

~~

Finding voice, I beat out like jagged razors cutting skin, “I don’t want a friend, Jasper. So unless you came here to be mine, to give me what I need – a man, a mate, you – just walk away now.” Expecting him to leave at my insolent statement, I broke back, turned heel, but then thought better of it.

Pulling the chiming timepiece from my pocket, glaring at it, wanting the sentiment to be real, I shouted rancorously, “And you can take this damned thing with you!” Throwing his beloved watch to the grime-splattered floor, we both watched it bounce, clatter, and then stop.

Too many months had passed. My knuckles paled and curled and I felt like I was dying one more time.

The clockwork faded, inside.

~~

This broke me - the meaning and power of it, the bittersweet beauty for that which the clockwork represents - Jasper's own one-time humanity, his love, his soul that Edward tries to shove away fearing that Jasper won't return his own... oh, but how wonderfully wrong (thankfully!) he is in that assumption. The way Edward tries to save Jasper, trying to force him to leave him (to save him), brought fresh tears to my eyes - the fact that he would deny his own love and desire to save Jasper - beautiful, powerful... just like Edward.

And then... heaven... heart-racing, erotic glories of crushing love and aching need, a heaven of heat and clenching wet bodies and strength, primal and pure, and so damn f*ucking (literally) sexy that I was panting and near-melting to read it. It is so gorgeously erotic and sublime in its lush sensuality, the descriptions so vivid I could see them shimmering humid (and *hard*) in my head:

~~

I dared Jasper, too close to his cherubic mouth; the ghosts around us held their breath, as did I. I could just lick those curves that were a severe smile, an ellipse, an incantation. Swollen and tight and worried and wondering and fearful and needful.

~~

Those lips! God, I love how you describe those lips...

~~

As deeply as possible I savored the glide of him, in and out. Fat drops of moisture had me murmuring incoherently with their sticky raw honeyed essence.

~~

*drools* Wow... so deliciously-divine and full-on erotic that needless to say I printed the hell out of it right away - this whole beautiful, amazing chapter!

And well, I could quote the rest of it, some even more quiveringly erotic (!) - but I'll save that for the sublime story itself and perhaps tell you in PM even more gorgeous bits that had me gasping.

The sweet sorrow of the Cullens' sacrifice for the love that Edward and Jasper share had me near-sobbing. Seriously. It was *that* beautiful and sweetly-painful. They knew. Destiny can't be denied and out of love they gave the ultimate love. Gah... even typing that I'm crying again.

And the ending! Alice! I rejoiced at the sprite's survival, and also gasped at what that means to these three intertwined immortals. Now *that* is a love triangle of epic, eternal proportions and I implore you to please write more of this when the muse strikes because it just BEGS for more, and so do I! :D Please! Please! :D

Rie, darling, this is simply incredible, absolutely sense-seducing, delectable, erotic, beautiful, bittersweet, f*ucksexy, so very *stunning. I love the hell out of it and you, you amazing word-weaver for crafting and sharing such a gorgeous gift of words and wanton wizardry and wonder. *adored*
torsstupidmouth chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
Oh, my word.

I bellowed because Esme went silent.

That line right there teared me up.

Honestly, I don't have any words.

Thank you for writing.
slobber-monkey chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
I ran out of beautiful words for you long ago... That was stunning, and heartbreaking, and perfect.

TWICE or thrice had I loved thee,

before I knew thy face or name
RowanMoon chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
I need a moment to recover. That positively ripped my brain in two and my heart is beating a mile a minute.

GORGEOUSNESS!

I met with Oleander tonight...the ficster that lives here in the city. I told her that if she reads ANYTHING she must read your writing. She goes by Leelan Oleander here on FF.

Then I come home and I see you have updated Incarcerated and what a Grand Finale!

ENCORE! ENCORE!

I was wrapped up and pulled into this chapter with the force of fucking nature that is your writing. Your ability to juggle words and make this beautiful...prose. The alliteration as always slays me;

"nonstop tock tock tock of time tarried its torture over me."

and

"...chaste lonely waste.."

Your description of Edward's neighbourhood, the jail, the cell, is so detailed and magnified! I languished in the language you used throughout.

"Rain was shredding leaves off the live oaks outside as a portentous wind ripped limbs and rasped branches against the thick leaded pane of the Jail’s windows.

I stopped at the double doors. Wide lathes of decaying wood clasped in tarnished hinges, a huge heavy metal deadbolt, and a large rusty handle that had seen better days was all that held us apart.

Hoping. Dreading. Halting.

I felt him on the other side, his impatience. And…longing.

Caressing the timber with my long fingers trembling, my flesh wept at thoughts of him so close. Venom-like sweat dripped between the palisades of my shoulder blades. My black t-shirt stuck to my back. My parched throat hungered for his cock."

I would love to see your mind work. After reading this next gorgeous passage. I flashed within my mind a picture you at the beach with your children, looking at the shells and their beauty, totally soaking it in so you can reflect it back to us, like a holographic image in comparing this patina pattern to the infamous scars on Jasper's skin. As always, you do this like no one else I know can...

"The map of scars that lit his chest and arms did not diminish his masculine handsomeness. Watery, wavery, they bled color like the insides of a luminous oyster shell."

The love scene was...I actually thought I might have to nab a nitro glycerine tab from my Mimi. My heart rate and drawer dampness was Xponential! Xrated!

The punctuated mentions of the light burning out for each Cullen was heartbreaking.

Alice surviving? Genius.

xoxo
Gasaway Alley chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
My CountRie,

Cleave...

Heavy...

Exhultations...

Swollen, conglagrations, fanciful weavings.

With a heavy sigh and an even heavier bottom, I say unto you, Startling Swinger of Slashy Seepage, that is what you are.

If we were only human, to be out in the open, married, uncursed, to be able to walk with our heads held high. To be doomed to be weighted down with the human condition.

"Tall and strong, so fucking blond and lion-like, a predator, a hunter; a warrior, a weapon." Sweet Jasper

"Within my stronghold, rough hewn flesh, I licked his palms and watched his eyes redden. Ready. An echo of mine. His halo was tarnished, sopped in mildew. Just as mine." Your playbox of words overfloweth.

Angst ridden and trilled upon self loathing and doubt, this story spurs the reader (me) to keep upon your written path. To dance upon the jagged rock strewn course until my brain bleeds with your purpose. To bleed salty tears from my eyes that this poem has ended. Murderous whores, the Re-Volturi came and plucked away Edward's family, save the Slandering Sylph. Each name uttered as they plowed unto one another left a hiching depression on my soul.

Lovely, lovely, evil incarnate, that's what you are.

P.S.

"Expecting him to leave at my insolent statement, I BROKE BACK, turned heel, but then thought better of it." Do I really need to say it?
Viola Cornuta chapter 4 . 10/14/2009
Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
HopeStreet chapter 3 . 10/4/2009
This is awesome and extremely intense. One more chapter to go?
AmeryMarie chapter 2 . 9/23/2009
Rie, my love. Sorry for taking forever to review this story. I have had it read for days now, just never have time to review. I should be finishing up my chapter, but I thought I wouls take the time to do this first.

Beautiful, gutwrenching, tormented and made my heart ache. Jaspers journey through the years was beautifully rendered and so perfect. I want to hate Alice for keeping them apart, and I do, but at the same time, I can't blame her for her reaction.

Would I not do the same the thing, react in a similar fashion if I someone was threatening to come between me and my love? Would I not fight back, rail against the future and the Fates themselves, even if I saw that it was going to be? Of course I would.

The internal struggle against his desires is just sheer gorgeousness, yet raw and agonized. This whole thing feels so epic and monumental even after two stories. You know you own me right?

Great job, love. Really, really.
JED66 chapter 2 . 9/21/2009
Oh my word Jasper!
JED66 chapter 1 . 9/21/2009
Wow you have a magical way with words. I'm almost breathless...
mssmith chapter 3 . 9/15/2009
Wow...seriously, incredibly...wow.
Defiant-Chic chapter 3 . 9/15/2009
I still have the teaser you sent out first in my inbox and can't wait for THAT chapter! You write so beautifully.
RosaBella75 chapter 3 . 9/15/2009
Love how nicely J and E have to wait and hunger for eachother just enough like Canon. Poignant scene with Alice! Intense, hot good badness as always!
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