Reviews for On Blueprints
LaViePastiche chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Oh #jaspergasms. Let me count thee...

-I am not able to identify what is on the table because I have just noticed that my husband, my sweet husband, the Destroyer of Kitchens, is standing on the deck... shirtless. Without a shirt. No shirt in sight.- #1

-It has been a long, hot summer that involved many trips to the beach, and he is, for lack of a better word, bronzed. And toned from endless hours using the home gym in our basement while listening to podcasts for work. He looks like some sort of ridiculous swimsuit model.- #2, #3

-It is somewhere between degrees 90 and 100 of his pivot that I realize that in addition to not wearing a shirt, he also isn’t wearing pants. Or shorts. Or any sort of bottom-half attire suitable for being out on the deck during daylight hours.- #4, #5, #6

-My eyes are halfway down those thighs that make my heart race when I realize that he is not, in fact, naked. He has managed somehow to refrain from stripping entirely and is still wearing underwear. Fortunately. -#7

-Unfortunately, it looks like I have managed to neglect laundry day yet again, as he is wearing what he affectionately calls his “Bella can’t find the basement” boxers. They are dark red boxer briefs that my mother, in a flight of who-knows-what, decided were a good gift and gave him last year for Christmas. However, it did not appear that she had ever previously purchased clothing for a man, and therefore knew nothing about sizing, as this particular pair of boxer briefs was at least three sizes too small.- #8, #9, #10

-But on a day like today, when the world is apparently punishing me for forgetting to do the laundry, my extremely tan, extremely fit husband is turning toward me in the world’s smallest pair of boxer briefs which leave nothing – not a thing – to the imagination. And it’s not like I need my imagination. After seven years of pretty regular, pretty stupendous sexy-fun-times, I have a solid mental image of what’s going on in those shorts.- #11, #12, #13

-Pleading blue eyes temper the temper, and he knows it.- #14

-“Um,” says my Ivy-educated Strategic Planner.- #15

- 80% naked- #16

-He raises a hand to scratch his shoulder- #17

-I move closer and notice that the waistband of his boxers seems to be coated with... goo. Ew. Really?—Sorry, my bad. #18

-I notice that his long eyelashes, usually as fair as his hair- #19

-I watch as my finger keeps going, running down his abs, headed straight for the weird goo on his shorts. – #20

-My face. His crotch.- #21, #22, #23

-I reach out and run my fingers lightly up the now quite fully formed erection that is so clearly defined by the red cotton. I have barely a moment to enjoy the feel of cotton sliding against steel before I am yanked upright and Jasper’s tongue is in my mouth.- #23-#30

-When I see he is headed toward the large desk in his study – conveniently located fifteen feet from the deck – I try to stop him. The wall would be fine.-#30-35

OK fuck from here on out I have to paste the whole story so let’s just say up to the end we’ve got #36 – oh idk, #257

#blueprintsex got about... 60 just on its own. Jasper tasting like cookies got...ugh... alot.

NOW. I am tempted to dock you a few #jaspergasms because it appears that Bella is a lawyer and ficwife is a lawyer and as much as i love her i feel a little bitter that you basically GAVE HER my #blueprintsex. But I’m gonna let it go, pretend Bella is in IT (hey we have lots of people crying in our offices too...), and just enjoy the srs bsns strategic planner jasper. And i am going to think about cleaning him up w/ my tongue. TMI? IDGAF.

It 100% cured the horrid horrid emo of yesterday.

On top of being all wonderful and happy and sexy it was really funny :) I can’t believe you just busted that little ditty out in a few hours like it weren’t no thang. I love you for that! It was the best surprise ever! SERIOUSLY.

Thank you so much bb for the #jaspergasms and #jaspergiggles and no #jaspersobs. You are the best in the whole world!
BaconButt chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Jasper in way-too-tight boxers... yum!

Who wouldn't pull a Mrs. Cope and lash out the binoculars?

I'd probably do the same thing. )

You should be silly more often and write more like this.
RKinNY chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Cute, got to love the thought of Jasper in tight boxer briefs..Yum.
smelsies chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
M I love Jasper. I wish My husband would give me some good lovin after a bad day. I liked your story.
Goneforever8888 chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Elle! Omi-fuckin-god! I loved this! hehe. I was so funny and so hott!

Kitchen shit was hilarious!

leprechauns – the creepy-ass kind from that ridiculous movie from the 90’s – have gone through the cupboards because my husband absconded with their pot of gold. - ? LMAO. that's just funny!

haha loved it!

3 jess
insatiable06 chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Haha, that had some really great funny moments. :D Thanks for the morning pick me up!
spacey whitlock chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Yeah that was pretty damn hilarious, a little too much going on with Bella and not as hot as it could have been :(

I'd give it a 5 in hotness. I know its OOC, but can Bella shut up!
naelany chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
That was awesome! I have no idea what a MacGuffin means though, so I'm left asking anyway. What the hell did Jasper do in the kitchen, and what was he hiding on the patio?
ARFess96 chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
I Can't Wait! Thanks for the Bella/Jasper sexy times. I hope there are more of that in your little contest. I am signed up and ready for the first post.
emavalexis chapter 1 . 8/18/2009
Aww, hehe. Hot and hilarious, a delicious recipe indeed (oh God, sorry for the lame metaphor, but whatever). :D
RedVelvetHeaven chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
bwahahaha! You brought the giggles just in time bb! Thank you :)

So was Legna right? Was it Red Velvet Cake? I kinda squeed when she tweeted that!

"I cannot begin to comprehend the fuckery that has gone on here" LOL

Good times bb...good times!

Anadabyel chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
Yeah...about that kitchen...DAMN! For the love of Jasper!
twilightbloom chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
Dammit. I just want to know why it is that I don't have Jasper waiting for me in that condition on my deck when I get home from those "days from hell"...

Great sweet lovely lemony wonderfulness-you just made my Monday better...thanks!
shescardinal chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
Ungh. Le hot hot hot hot hot hot HOT.

Brain broke. The sexy did it. Good GOD woman. :)
atypical-swan chapter 1 . 8/17/2009
whoo! Where's my good-karma-inducing Jasper after my crappy day? Huh? _ Can't say I blame Bells for wanting to screw up her days again for awhile if that's what she gets at the end of them! Lovely!
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