|Reviews for Fur of Future, Komrade in Arms|
| Beta Galaxy chapter 1 . 3/13/2010
It was quite the intriguing story. There were quite a few things I liked about it, and some that I wish to see improved on, if you don't mind me suggesting.
Switching between sets of characters was actually done quite well. It always can be hard to keep up with the story when it switches between scenes so quickly, but I think you pulled it off quite well. It can always be more efficient, but its much harder to do in this circumstance; it being a short story. The suspense was a little dry in some parts, but really perked up when LR52 and Copperleaf were opening the stone slab, and again at the end when they are being chased down by the aircraft. I also very much liked when you revealed the weasel to be Von Kripplespac. Too many would instantly say that it was Von Kripplespac, but instead you referred to him as simply "The Weasel" which keeps people guessing. That is a very important aspect to keeping readers glued to a story, is leaving clues like that to make the reader have the "Ah ha!" or "I knew it!" moments later in the story.
I know this was just a short story and that it's hard to squeeze this in without ending up with a ridiculously long read, but one of the very important aspects I felt it was lacking was details. Details can always be overdone; you want your readers to create a world themselves. But too little can lead to confusion by the reader, such as loss of location, or simply confusing what is going on. Details create the atmosphere, an aspect that makes a reader feel like they truly are in the world the characters are in. There were some in the beginning that were good, where you described the blood stained wall and charred buildings, but I like to feel the time of day, if the air is thick with a mist of water. Not all of the story was lacking in details, some were good. I felt the most like I was in the world while Copperleaf was sitting in the prison. But, I'd love more character description. Another great aspect that gets you into a story is feeling like you know the character, they're emotions, feelings, etc.
Overall I thought it was good.
| FlyLittleMoth chapter 1 . 8/19/2009
I loved it. Absolutely LOVED it!
I'd give anything to be able to be able to write like that!
I adore the fact that you had a side switching Tedi! D! Like Ghara, only... not. lol Aww! Maple and Fir together, that is so sweet! I guess the war is over?
You are an absolute genius!