|Reviews for Two Worlds|
| TexasDreamer01 chapter 1 . 8/29/2010
that was... interesting. why did zuko react to her like that?
| Cassie James chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
This was well written, not too many mistakes, but Zuko was too out of character for me. I think this would work better if he was more angry or resentful instead of timid and fearful.
Still, I enjoyed it! Good job.
| MrWezlum18 chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
It was okay. It started off good anyway. The beginning is humorous, and the characters you included worked quite well. But as soon as it got serious, it really started to look like a therapist trying to reason with a paranoid rape victim. That isn't meant to be insulting; I'm just saying...
I think you should try re-writing the second half to keep the story funny, but still deep.
here are my suggestions for doing that:
1) instead of having a stroke from paranoia, have him be angry from resentment. Yes, he doesn't want to give her a reason to kill him; but Zuko's not a wuss.
2) It doesn't have to be a bending-dual, but more shouting wouldn't hurt. Make Katara the uncomfortable one. You placed this fic a week after Zuko joins the group right? Well Katara should be thinking: "Oh geez, I told this guy I'd kill him if he gave me a reason and now he's making me tea. How ironic. He's not gonna poison me is he? Nah." (that would be the punchline)
3) Zuko never got this nervous in this crazy in the series, ever. And no matter how nervous Katara makes him, she is NOTHING compared to Ozai. Sheesh.
4) To properly teach someone a difficult art, they must be an appropriate distance from each other so that information can be properly absorbed. I liked the bit with the pommegrametes, and Katara would have to be pretty close to see what he is doing. put in more of that, and less freakout, and you'll have an excellent nervous-romantic fic.
5) Katara stutters on ocassion, but i don't remember Zuko ever stuttering, ever.
So that's all I've got for ya. Just a last couple things. You don't even have to change the dialogue, aside from the stuttering, all you really need to do to get Zuko and Katara back in character is to change the context.
The other thing is: the closest Avatar ever came to an emo-tantrum was Aang going Avatar state when he was upset. That is why this doesn't work the way it is right now.
Please note that i didn't write any of this to insult you, i'm just offering my editors- insight.
I'm going to favorite this story in the hopes that i one day get to read it properly.
| Aoluas Anminti chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
I think Zuko was way, way too scared and timid here. Honestly, my thought reading this was, "It's not like he hasn't had people out for his head before. Why should being around Katara turn him into a stammering coward?"
Being (very) cautious around her is one thing, but I just can't reconcile the Zuko from the series with the one in your story. I also thought Katara was a bit too accepting of him here. By the time she was willing to deal with him closely enough and without a life-or-death situation, the way she would have to to allow him to teach her how to make tea, the death threat wasn't even an issue.
I was fine with the Zuko's hesitation and reticence, but when he started shaking and cringing, the whole thing went south to me.
| zuko4ever1477 chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
Wow, great work! This might be the best oneshot I've ever read! It's really realistic, seems like if they were going to make Zutara canon this would be the way they lead into it, you know?
I picked up on some symbolism in the part about the pomegranate too (I'm not sure if it was supposed to be there lol, but I found it anyway). If there's too much bitterness then the two ingredients can't balance each other out. Sort of like Zutara in a way.
Awesome job overall! Hope to see more like this!
| b1uski3sxox chapter 1 . 8/20/2009
Yay! Zutara-ness! This was such a great little mini-story... it was super-realistic, I could actually see all that stuff happening... *sniffle sniffle* and it was sad in a way... poor Zuko. And, at the same time, YAY Zuko! XD Keep up the great work!