Reviews for Candy Floss
KeepMiAlive chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
MetallicBlueFrog chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
Hiya! It's me! This was a pretty good story! (Do I seem a little too enthusiastic?) Ever since I-don't-know-how-long-ago, I've been pretty partial to PaiLett and ZakuPai; KeiLett and KeiZaku. Now I don't really care who ends up with who cuz they all make pretty good couples when I think about it. Well, bye now! -
True Colours chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
Very fluffy and sweet...and random. Why would you think that you squished it up and put it over your eyes? Nevertheless, it was very funny. You might want to check up on a few odd turns of phrase, eg: '...thus not working and a long stream of giggles escaped her lips.' I can't explain exactly what's wrong with the grammar in that sentence, it just doesn't work. But it's nothing that can't be ironed out with practise, and you had some lovely description here. And UP PXL!

KaleidoscopeKreation chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
KAWAI! Great, Jazz-chan!

That made me laugh out loud!

There were a few small mistakes... you might wanna proofread it. But generally excellent!



P.S: There's ANOTHER PaiZak fic up on the website! Cripes, how much longer must we put up with it? One PaiZak story would be one too many, in my humble opinion. Oh well. Heh heh.

P.P.S: Please please please read my story, past lives! Thanks!
Safaia Bara chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
Aw, Jazz-chan, that was totally and utterly adorable! I really think you're getting better.

SparkSparta chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
How kawaii! I wanna try that candy... anyways, great job Zuka-san.
Saba's Reflection chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
You told me to be honest, but I'm going to be accurate as well. 'Kay? _

"The sky was a pinky orange, as the sun made it's way down slowly."

"A soft tint of red made it's way onto her cheeks as he stared down at her."

CORRECTION: Instead of "it's" it should be "its" as neither of the things you described are living things.

"Sitting upon the tall hill, was a green haired girl Midorikawa Retasu, mildly picking at the fluffy pink sweet."

CORRECTION: You forgot to add "named" in "was green haired girl Midorikawa Retasu".

"She could make out Purin swinging along the monkey bars, Zakuro and Keiichiro at the wolf's enclosure, Ichigo clinging to Masaya's arm as they rode along on the log flume and a fed up Minto as Ryou drowned on about which ride to go on."

CORRECTION: It should be "and a fed up Minto as Ryou DRONED on about which ride to go on". I'm unsure on whether you felt like DROWNING Ryou or if it was actually a mistake. xD

"He gave a curt nod, as he stared at the big fluffy pink blod on the white stick in her pale hand."

CORRECTON: "Curt" is not a word and by "blod" I think you mean "blob".

All in all, I couldn't help but want to squeal because of how kawaii this was. You've managed to enhance the candy floss' place in the story, making it a crucial part in the kiss.
Tomahawk 3.0 chapter 1 . 8/21/2009
this was one of your better ones-hots, sweet, sexy and well written, excellent!