|Reviews for The Shadow Wielders|
| Blue-Fire001 chapter 7 . 1/15/2014
IS Lover really needed. There all boys, aren't they, but i think i can understand. I just don't like the time laps. It is still a good read and a good use of my time then doing homework.
| bluebeere chapter 3 . 4/19/2013
Hey how did Kaiba died? did Joey died too?
| yugioh4ever chapter 22 . 9/5/2012
I can't wait for you to add more. I am loving this. I am rolling on the floor laughing at most parts with the yamis.
| Crescent Moon Lady chapter 22 . 11/3/2010
Please, please, please, please, please, please update soon! I absolutely love this story and really really really want to read more of it! It has a great plot, and even better characters and pairings! Update please!
| aminaluvr4life chapter 20 . 8/19/2010
I absolutely love the story, I really love the fluffy moments in the chapters regardless of which couple it is. I sometimes get confused though between who is who with all of the code names, although I think I have them all down. I really like how all the chapters are so long, it makes me happy to know that the story has progressed so much so I don't feel too bad when I read what's posted so far. I know that the wait is worth it since the chapter makes up for the wait. _
| aminaluvr4life chapter 2 . 8/16/2010
Ohhh, how exciting, I can't wait to see what happens next. Too bad I have to go to sleep now for work tomorrow or I'd be reading the whole story posted so far right now. _
A person can dream.
| aminaluvr4life chapter 1 . 8/16/2010
Enjoyed the revamped version of this story, I remember reading it a while ago and loving it, I can't wait to read everything that is posted so far. It looks better than the first so far._
| NobodiesChain chapter 22 . 6/27/2010
I'm not sure if I reviewed this story or not,but I like this story. The fact that you updated made me happy,another is that Harry thinks that Pegasus is a pervert! Good job and update as soon as posible.
| Zero Wolfbane chapter 22 . 6/25/2010
*is jumping around happily* I think you know what made me enjoy this chapter so much (that and the fact you UPDATED!)
Who are you kidding? Of course Pegasus is a pedo. (I kid, I kid)
Anyway, keep up the good work!
| deidara is awsome chapter 4 . 4/25/2010
how many chapters will there be in all
| deidara is awsome chapter 1 . 4/25/2010
| Selkies chapter 21 . 4/19/2010
* Moody has a motto? I felt like after the fourth book I didn't even know the real Moody anymore, but then again, the impostor mimicked Moody well enough to fool several people.
* "It's there job to protect wronged demons." Change 'there' to 'their', it's a minor mistake.
* I protest referring to Voldemort as 'human', he's so far from human, he's practically living on that rock, Pluto.
* "Jess winked at him, and Harry's vision was covered in blue-purple." Wait...what does that mean?
* Don't they take some kind of training to become an Auror? Moody should know, just by Harry's tone and Jess' threats, to stop trying to force his way in everything. Observe first then decide a course of action later!
* "-Maybe our warning just got through to him.- Marik suggested, earning disbelieving looks from the other four. -What?-"
OMG! Marik is being optimistic! *Gasp*
* "I can't wait to see what we've got for lunch." Ron said"
tsk tsk, Ronald always thinks with his stomach.
* "Anyways, Lady got pissed and shot him in the arm before she punched him in the gut, groin, and face."
Apparently, great minds think alike, my dear...
* A Minor Notice:
"Another dozen students and they'd need to find a new place to practice/learn."
Try to avoid that slash, pick one word or the other to leave in and save the remainder for another time. You can leave in the slash in a rough draft but on a final copy, see which word fits & sounds best.
"Frost covered the grounds. And ice practically took over the windows, and the top of the castle walls in thick layers."
Try to avoid capital 'Buts' and 'Ands'...if you can, but you use them sparingly enough anyways, so it's probably okay.
Yay! Superb chapter! Not much for me to talk about, I enjoyed the this chapter and I happily await your next posting.
| Zero Wolfbane chapter 21 . 4/18/2010
Another interesting chapter, My Dear friend, Cerberus.
By the way, I have a new Manga series you might like. Who knows? Maybe it will help any writers block you might have. I definitely gave ME a few ideas.
| Here Forever chapter 20 . 4/5/2010
Interesting story, if a bit hard to follow. Hope you update soon!
| Selkies chapter 20 . 4/1/2010
Congrats on reaching 20!
* I really like the interlude of this chapter, mysterious with a good setting. I was wondering where the heck this was with all the clouds and fog, then, lo' and behold, you said Buckingham Palace.
It's always a good thing to see a writer that knows how to layer a setting into place. I like how you appealed to the senses with the biting wind (feel), the dark clouds/sunset (sight), and a scream (hearing).
* Is Buckingham Palace in a town or a city?
* You really have a love of names that begin with 'M' don't you? Maria last chapter, Martha & Marcello this chapter.
* You can be sparse on descriptions of people that are just going to die soon anyways, no need to describe hair and eye color and too detailed stuff like that.
If you really need to be detailed, spread them out, I doubt Martha is able to scan this all at once. Maybe add actions to them, an example is perhaps Martha notices the fangs when he lunges for her (or grins at her) or she notices the guy's hair when he suddenly leans into her face, she'll also notice, at this close a range, hair falling against his cheek or the color of his eyes.
Humans are not observant at all, even with adrenaline pumping through their veins, especially at night with fog.
Also, unless everyone's eyes glow in the dark (I know they're vamps but even cat eyes gleam only with light shining in them) you should limit this effect to your 'special & awesome' characters.
On that note, I like your descriptions, "Beautifully flawless pale skin contrasted nicely with the black leather."
* One thing that really throws me off is your pronouns, sometimes I get confused about what is happening to whom and who is saying what. Since there are four, now five, mysterious males running around, you can put your descriptions to use, instead of confusing male voices all talking together, say 'the short one burst into ashes' or 'purple eyes glared at her/him' or something.
I think you have this all perfectly pictured in your head, you just need to picture it in words for us, the less fortunate.
* Which Kane is this?
"I said kill him, Kane."
"Kane hesitated. One didn't attack an Elemental unless you were absolutely sure you could win."
It isn't Jess's Kane, is it? That means he just got killed.
* "They protected the mansion for inquisitive people"
I think you mean 'from'.
* Here's examples:
"The bat half demon snarled in anger and agony when Hiei pinned him (1st pronoun) to the wall, his (2nd pronoun) red-hot katana through his (3rd pronoun) shoulder."
Now...I understood this sentence, but if you had gone on, it would have been a free-for-all.
"He (1st, I know it's Kane) smelled of human blood." Karasu growled. "And he (2nd, probably Kane again) wasn't alone. He (3rd, Kane?) was dragging Malik's friend, the bald one. He (4th, Kane...) didn't seem to care that he (5th, Malik's friend) was mortally injured either."
But this one is speech pattern, so it's forgivable, after all, it's only Karasu and Hiei having an interroga...I mean 'conversation', about two other males.
* You're also adding TE? Ha ha, it must be a madhouse in your head right now. Cerb can run crowd-control.
Whew, boy, Beth has a temper...
* Update soon!
I want to know what's happening with the serpent and the world.
On a side note, I don't think the world can withstand that hot a temperature for a week, polar bears drowning and penguins dying! Wait...that sounds familiar, oh yeah, global warming.
* What's special about Nov. 4th again?