|Reviews for A Night in the Rough|
| Blue Lone Wolf 2574 chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
Hm... This is an interesting plot. Even if I've little or no idea who 'Helix' is. Granted this is a good idea and you've put it up pretty fast, but this really could use some work. It's almost like you rushed it. Rushing is kinda bad. And I never rush.
There are various spelling errors, along with the fact that you didn't seem to set the scene right. How is Billy dressed and acting? What's the scene look like? Do their expressions or mannerisms change between sentences? Either you're skipping steps and I'm unintentionally being mean about it or I've got higher standards than you. I'm not sure anymore.
But what I can say is that your idea does hold water. It just needs some serious refinement.
| yaaaaaaayme chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
i like it, though it seems like its meant to be more than just a oneshot (perhaps you could add more to it, if you had anything in mind).
i wish i could add more, but i'm finding that my brain is completely fried from summer work... so, for now, that's all i've got! .;