|Reviews for Luigis mansion another mansion!|
| Anonymous Girl Gamer chapter 1 . 8/19
I'm sorry, but the spelling isn't very good.
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/19
I'm sorry, but you really need to improve your grammar and spelling, one of the more notable examples being ''save his bra, Maria''. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm just trying to help.
| Honest advice chapter 1 . 6/19
In my opinion I think you need to check your grammar mistakes, it was a little difficult to read.
| Alex chapter 1 . 9/25/2016
| Poltergust6000 chapter 1 . 12/1/2014
Um, you should definitely use spell check next time... And MAYBE it should have been longer, too... Oh well, you'll get better if you just keep practicing... Don't give up on fanfic writing, at least you actually got some reviews for your story... I haven't had a single one yet on my first fanfic! I really don't want to be mean, and I'm sorry if this review hurts you in any way.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/2/2013
(sarcastically)Oh this is soooo interesting. I didn't know that FUCKING 2 year olds can write stuff oh so well.
Ps. I didn't know Mario is a bra
Pss. GROW UP AND GET A FUCKING LIFE
psss USE THE GRAMMAR THAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU BY GOD FOR TWO FUCKING MINUTES
Pssss Oh yeah go suck yo MOMMAS vagina for something better to do then write shit
| TitanicFanClub63 chapter 1 . 4/28/2013
WHAT IS THIS A PIECE OF CRAP SHIT!
| Karl The Fox chapter 1 . 3/18/2013
You misspelled a lot of words
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
Nice summary:Woot! cant say anything nice other than BTW you mean brother when u say brither.
| Megastar8271 chapter 1 . 12/17/2012
short butt funny
| superbrewster chapter 1 . 12/3/2012
| Brittany Bauer chapter 1 . 9/20/2012
I'm going to be honest. It was short and there were misspelled words everywhere. I didn't like it. But, if you keep working on your writing skills, I'm sure you'll get better at writing more stories. I read some of your other reviews on this story and the people who reviewed it were mean with the reviews. I can't stand when people do that to another person. It's just not right. I for one, am trying not to sound mean, with this review. I'm not a mean person. I'm just giving you friendly advice. Keep on writing. Eventually you'll have 100 reviews and 200 favs. I guarantee it. (That's a hyperbole, but you know what I mean.)
| Fluupee chapter 1 . 12/12/2011
WHAT ARE YOU A TODDLER WHO WRITES PIECES OF CRAP? CHECK YOUR SPELLING AND PUNCTUATION! GET UR GRAMMAR RIGHT. GO FIND AN ENGLISH TEACHER (not that anyone would want to teach a piece of shit like you)
| ZuneMan132 chapter 1 . 10/29/2011
it took me 2 seconds to read this peice of crap
| M chapter 1 . 7/4/2011
umm.. a few things.. first: thats basically the plot of luigi's mansion except you wrote that it happened again. So this could be The Hidden Mansion plus a MACHINE gun.
Also, you really really REALLY need someone (or Word will do) to check your spelling and grammar. I don't even think you read over it. You wrote 'Xhapter 2' I get that it's a typo, but if you proof-read this, it should have been fixed. I don't expect you to fix every mistake, so maybe you should get a beta to help you. You spelled mansion right twice in the title but you spelled it 'manshion' in the story. And Mario isn't a bra named Maria or Mareo. He's Luigi's BROTHER named MARIO. The 'o' and 'a' keys aren't even near each other so I'm not sure how that happened. No offence, but I'm surprised that me (and other people) could actually understand what happened in this story.
If you want to make your story good, you should actually write out what happens, not a summary, and use the chapter feature on the site instead of writing 'chapter one'
'Suck' is not language... but I understand the T rating because you said whore (we don't want any little kids seeing that and wondering what it means)
Last thing: Mario can talk. He says 'Wahoo' and 'Mamma Mia' hahaha. It's Link who doesn't talk except in the tv show which doesn't count because it was weird and all he said was "Excuse me, Princess' Ok, that last part was random, but still my point was that he can talk XD