|Reviews for Marriages and Headaches|
| Cutenatsumexmikan chapter 1 . 11/10/2011
Awww. I love the last part when with Hitomi. It shows how happy the Natsume's family is. :) Hehe. Love this. :D
| Gindokei chapter 1 . 9/2/2009
Hello, fellow competitor!
Okay, personally, I love the humorous approach to planning a wedding. Sappy romance can only get you so far, you know? And Anna going ballistic is certainly very amusing.
One thing that kind of bothered me, though, was your continuous usage of swear words. I understand that Anna is upset and everything, but, well... maybe it's just me. ;;
Another thing - you're supposed to start a new paragraph when a new person starts talking. Having two or more people's dialogues in the same paragraph tends to make things confusing.
'It was a little puffy and reached perfectly until the ground. It was in one word perfect.' Try to avoid overusing words, especially words like 'nice' or 'perfect', which are very vague - at least, in my mind.
'looking at it disgustingly' - maybe 'in disgust' would be better?
'So, yeah, sorry for her. She's kinda psychic,' - I don't think 'psychic' is the word you're looking for her... more like, I dunno, 'psycho'? xD
Anna is seriously crazy here. I'm honestly staring at the screen in disbelief - who would've thought that quiet, dainty little Anna would be such a harpy? xDD
The little scene about Kitsuneme's wedding and his announcement at the altar was too funny! Poor Wakako, though, he really should have chosen a better time to reveal it, eh?
'“Argh!” Anna screamed out, as Natsume walked in. “Can't anyone do his job right?” Natsume sighed. Welcome to hell, once again.' - I didn't really understand this entire scene...
The little kids 'punishing' Natsume was a nice touch. Although proposing to Mikan at work... Natsume really should have thought of a more romantic way to ask her to marry him... then again, it is a comedy!
'Why isn't anyone paying attention to my sayings?' - what Anna said. I don't really understand what you mean by 'my sayings'...
The last line was very sweet. (:
All in all, a very nice story, although there were a few grammatical errors. Best of luck in the contest!
| Miyaxbaybeexx chapter 1 . 8/26/2009
haha Natsumes adore Kawaii little
This was really luck!
| missyJuliette chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
anna was pretty funny here... bridezilla and all then cursing inside the church, she's a psycho... your fic is pretty nice too... _ good luck...
| lovepikachu12 chapter 1 . 8/25/2009
haha!funny and cute too!
| Romantically Loveless chapter 1 . 8/24/2009
Some grammar errors here and there, but not too noticeable.
Anna the bridezilla. LOL
The ending where Hitomi covers her eyes is adorable. 3
“Ass is not bad. It would be bad if I said assh-”
I love that part.
Thanks for participating, and best of luck!