Reviews for Ah! Into the Underworld!
Well.meh chapter 1 . 3/13/2011
it wasn't the worst I've ever read, but it's not anywhere near the best! Sorry!
Davner chapter 1 . 8/29/2009
It's too short. I don't mean it needs a sequel, I mean it needs more meat. Everything happened way too fast. From A to B to C in the space of a few pages. You know what you want to happen in the story, you just need to take your time getting there. Work on your descriptions, go into detail about how Keiichi feels. That stuff about Mara seemed to pop up out of nowhere.