|Reviews for The Dark Night|
| GuesssWho chapter 1 . 3/5
| Jaszminie chapter 1 . 2/4
Your writing is interesting and the Milton influence is beautiful. I would suggest getting it published.
For improvement if u so choose, I would advise protraying the preist as holy. I mean it is his profession, to outright curse isn't likely to happen. Also, most Christian's first reactions to suffering of any kind to to pray. He mightive called an ambulance in secrecy but more then likely, God can do miracles so he would pray.
Also, maybe have the priest ponder some more. Again, this is his profession, he has seen many miracles. He should believe that God does give evidence. If u feel thus character would not be productive in your story, I suggest the movie God Is Not Dead. Interesting take on science that movie has. That would also give God something to say through him, may even plant these thoughts that the preist has no recollection of knowing. Christians sometimes have this gift of wisdom.
As for your Satan representation. I second that. I feel that if Satan was going to be a real person in front of someone he would be extremely smart and analytical. He would also have the goal of spreading knowlege, but through deception that leads the victim worse off then he was before. There is some he say she say going round that the Devil's bible is real, and it is some giant book written a day. It contains all the knowledge their is to know and anyone who has read it dies soon after because they can't take it. Puts a whole new meaning to ignorance is bliss.
Showing and not telling would improve the story also. The line "the smoke floated up like a soul" Spit like Milton and personify that smoke.
If making the preist what he was was ur intention, then giving him a back story or at least letting the reader know he has shaky faith will make his reactions more reasonable.
Bit again all of what I said was all suggestion. You do what ever make you happy. Your story. It s still pretty cool.
| SilverStreaksofStardust chapter 1 . 10/14/2016
~ A beautiful and profounding story. Definitely one of my favourites.
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/13/2016
THIS. WAS. AMAZING. I AM SO FUCKING SPEECHLESS RN
| WTDMH chapter 1 . 6/2/2016
This is a really interesting story, I really like the way you had it all play out. I'm not religious and I've never read the bible, so some of it was probably lost on me. But I really enjoyed it nonetheless! :)
| CyberManiac chapter 1 . 5/19/2016
Very interesting. I think it could have used more description to set the mood, maybe? And one or two times I wasn't sure who was talking.
The most likely probability is that the man is a prankster, a normal human, not a supernatural being.
| Guest chapter 1 . 4/18/2016
Good job :)
| ThePeacer chapter 1 . 4/5/2016
I'll admit, the topic and setting are ingenious-no one can say that you're theologically off, because the character you're using is the ultimate deceiver. His theology would definitely be off, and there's no knowing how much of what he's saying is really what he believes . . . or you believe, for that matter.
Still, I believe this sort of thing to be dangerous. Whether or not it is/was your intention, the way you present Satan holds the potential of convincing someone with less knowledge of the Scriptures and of the Devil's reasoning that he's right. I suppose this is how Satan works; convinces you that he's the voice of logic, of reason, of (as you so aptly put it) truth. But in reality, none of these things could exist unless God is all He says He is. Like I said, this idea was ingenious, and you executed it expertly; but it's still very dangerous.
Separate from that, I was deeply bothered (not concerned, just unsettled) by the way you portrayed God and Michael. Granted, it was through the mind of Satan, but as with the last point you're (forgive the expression) "playing with matches" here. To be blunt, some of the things you/he say are bordering on blasphemy.
I truly can't tell if I love this story for its masterful plotting and style, or hate it for the things it represents. So for what it's worth, there's my review.
| Scott chapter 1 . 7/9/2015
Plot twist: John 8:44 was right. The Devil just made up everything.
| Qoheleth chapter 1 . 8/22/2014
You lost me on "if we grant that he isn't simply a cosmic fool". I see no reason to grant that.
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/28/2014
Wow, that was better than I thought it would be. I really liked the ending!
| Jamie chapter 1 . 5/12/2014
I've read this many times since I found it. It's so intriguing, very well thought out, and an amazing scene. Your writing is gorgeous, and honestly, this is the best story on this site. Not just biblefics, but from the tons that I've read.
The idea is ingenious, and it makes the reader seriously consider the point of view of the "villian." I have thought about the arguments he makes over and over, and it's quite advanced theology. Somehow, you've made the reader sympathize with the figure they've been raised to hate.
Another thing I loved was the fact he's sitting in a church. It's so ironic, but perfectly justified by the character you developed. Micheal was an interesting character by himself.
The ending was great. I loved the fact that you slipped in the lighter and the name; surprising us the same way he surprised micheal.
I give this a ten out of ten for originality, prose, and characterization. I'd like to add, you've inspired me to do a few drawings. Not directly based from this, but the tone was inspirational in a sense.
Thank you for your writing :)
Also, consider publishing this. It might be a bit controversial for those who take it way too seriously, the the majority of people would love something like this. And you'd deserve to be recognized as an original author.
| ME chapter 1 . 5/11/2014
This is blasmephy ! You will prob burn in hell :) Nice though .
| Shingekyo chapter 1 . 4/27/2014
| Rosario Central chapter 1 . 4/18/2014
Absolutely fantastic. This is the one fanfic that made me think. I keep rereading this story because I always see it in a different way. Definitely my all time favorite story on the site. The fact that you made me respect the devil is fantastic, you haven't changed my religion (still catholic) but you definitely opened my mind.