|Reviews for The Introduction of Audrey Rose|
| DamnLazyWriter chapter 1 . 12/27/2009
I think you have a good concept going here. Thinking to give Jazmine an alternative personality is a very expansive idea. You have so much material to work with...particularly since you've chosen to make her a badass assassin.
However, there are a few things that I've taken notice of. You have spelling and grammatical errors here and there. They can be distracting, so I think you should take more care into evaluating your stories before you publish them. Also, you don't have to put Audrey in italics. You've made it quite clear that Jazmine has changed her name to Audrey, so marking it in italics can prove to be another distraction. One more thing, because I don't want to drag this out too long...as a writer, you've jeopardized Jazmine's role as an assassin simply because she beat up a man's car with a baseball bat. A real assassin would never do that...their role is to keep their image is inconspicious as possible. In this way, you've made Jazmine more of a bully than an assassin.
Anyway, I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I'm not trying to be rude, I just thought I'd point out a few things. I'll be reading the chapters that follow soon. :)
| KrisB.723 chapter 3 . 9/18/2009
I LOVE IT! Can you do another chapter by tomorrow? And can you read my story, the New Girl in Town, I need more reviews.
| KrisB.723 chapter 2 . 9/10/2009
You should continue the story, its really good.
| MzMinni3 chapter 1 . 8/27/2009
uh-oh...i smell trouble