Reviews for Lullaby
GotCinnamonPunkC13 chapter 1 . 10/9/2011
But I know it ends sadly!

Dammit...uh...I like your writing style xD
M3535 chapter 1 . 9/26/2011
Thank you for a very sweet story
Memon93 chapter 4 . 3/31/2010
Such a good story! Ahh...must stop crying...

Wow, that was beautiful! I love it :)
Memon93 chapter 3 . 3/31/2010
Aw this is making me cry!

I will read on :)
Call-me-Cassandra chapter 2 . 1/31/2010
This chapter flows much better than your first. Sirius's point of view is a nice touch and it really clarifies the storyline a lot more. The first kiss is adorable and I feel so bad for Sirius.
Call-me-Cassandra chapter 1 . 1/31/2010
You get much more specific towards the end, but the beginning is a little too vague, I of the language is also a bit flowery and wordy, try to make your sentences a bit more concise. I really like the scene where Sirius finds out and the plot line of werewolves mating for life, and that being why they didn't rush. It works well in this context.
sugarland588275 chapter 3 . 11/6/2009
M, MORE! YAY!
Crystal Shadow.X chapter 3 . 9/13/2009
Hey.

This is brilliant and i loved the fact sirius is being off because he has to get married. Genius idea!

I really want them to make up. Its just to sweet for them to be like this all the way through :)

You've wrote this really well and i think you've done better this time around its not as confussing to follow with the character change and going backwards and forwards throughout the story. Well done it must have been tricky manange that.

I dont really have any critisms i think it was the first chapter and there was one paragraph that was a bit iffy but yeah its all really good and its moving on nicely.

I need some help with mine im struggling to get the story moving on im hopefully going to post chapter 2 up today so i would be grateful if you could read through and let me know and opinions or thoughts you have on it. Cheers chicken.

X
PottersLittleSister chapter 3 . 9/1/2009
I really like where this story is going... it another side of remus and sirius and i like it alot... can't wait for more
Ardespuffy chapter 2 . 8/28/2009
Your grammar's not always tops, but I like the story and the way you're writing it D. Keep up, I want to see how it goes on!
Crystal Shadow.X chapter 1 . 8/27/2009
Aww how sweet is this chapter!

I think we discussed you doing this story at some point? But its amazing.

That one sentance about the lullaby to his soul or however it went was so deep. That just stood out from the whole chapter. You've done this really well because you have made it sound so passionate and yet it hasnt come across distasteful or cheap which i think is hard becasue that line can be easily crossed when trying to show desire and attraction and then it becoming dirty and cheap. Well done!

Tip: Be careful with your tenses ive picked up on a few little words which need changing.

Also try to vary your words because you can use the same word to often e.g 'I grumbled to myself hissing in pain, my eyes screwed shut trying to forget the pain'.

Other then that a good start and im looking forward to reading more :)

Crystal. X