|Reviews for Cripple|
| Icebreath chapter 10 . 10/11/2013
Wow! I really enjoyed it. You are a good writer. Thanks for writing this story.
| Guest chapter 10 . 9/1/2013
Omg, I LOVE the two stories I read by you-this and the one for Johanna and Vince and the rest of her family. So well-written, intense, accurate, and even funny! I like how you put snapshots of the other characters like Foxface and Rue in it too. I was wondering if maybe I could use some of your own characters in a story I might write? I'll give you credit for them of course. And I have a suggestion of a story for you: write the 74th Hunger Games...but from Vince's point of view! I'd like to read that.
Anyway, thank you so much for this. If I read this and went back in time to rewrite the Hunger Games, I swear I'd let Lucas or Vincent win (I love Vince!). Keep up the good work!
| sora kazega chapter 10 . 4/4/2013
Is an epilogue a possibility because I loved it!
| HungerGamesLoverr chapter 10 . 1/13/2013
This is such a sad story. I love how you portray all the subcharacters, and let them have an own story each. I really enjou reading all of your work, you should be very proud of yourself!
| Jane chapter 10 . 9/10/2012
I thought that the whole book was really good! I liked that you added the part with Fox-Face from A Fox's View.
| Radio Free Death chapter 10 . 7/14/2012
-District Four's dead boy is old news – and the only good Career is a dead Career.-
Hypocrasy, thy name is Jerkface.
-It's only the first day, and already eleven tributes are dead. It's so… sudden. I mean, I was eating lunch in the same room as them only a few days ago. I didn't even know them very well, but I still knew them-
With the casual way he dismissed their deaths, I sincerely doubted he did.
- Rather have a sane victor than any of the Careers,-
How can that be possible? The winner will come out a mess. They will be traumatized. This isn't something you can shrug off.
-Why should the Capitol have the right to kill this girl, still a child, just because of something her ancestors may or may not have taken part in? Who died and made them gods?-
Quite frankly, hasn't he already said this before? Why does he have to reinstate this? Is it this uncommon that a twelve year old girl was selected? Prim got voted on her first try. And for somebody who is so against the Capitol, Lucas has pretty much gone along with what they're doing. He hasn't killed anyone yet, but he always thinks about doing it, rather than not.
Why does he run into the two people who apparantly let him go with a warning? It just makes it all so polarized. We have these characters who are good and would never kill anybody because they're that good and the trained kids are evil.
- I would have thought you'd know that, oh great lapdog of the Capitol." -
Because when I think oppressed districts, I think lapdog.
-I finish these Games just how I started them.
But this time not to save my own skin.
But the life of someone else.
I guess it's fitting that -
Just as I've spent all of my life,
I go down acting.-
How did he save somebody else? He didn't do anything. He just died. There was no grand victory here.
I like how he achieved nothing in the end but death, but the story seems to treat it like it was some grand gesture. It wasn't. He died. Even his death scene was neutralized to a clean death. There was no screams of pain or terror, no reality of what it's like to be carved up. He's able to withstand the pain because that corresponds to his goodness for some reason. Its only the other evil kids that cry out when they're hurt.
It had potential in the beginning, and his snarks were a defence mechanism from the reality, but he quickly slipped into the thing that is all too common with these stories. He hates the Capitol, but plays along. He doesn't care about anybody else but the narrative insists he does. IF he didn't want the Capitol to own him, if he hated what they were doing, why not just kill himself? Try to strike up a force of kids who refuse to fight. Better that then the game they're playing.
| Radio Free Death chapter 8 . 7/14/2012
-Who would have thought it? District Twelve – the poor, pathetic coal mining District – actually have a plan for once. Well good on them. Anything that takes points away from the Careers has got to be a good thing.-
So Lucas would rather have Katniss win because at least she's not a trained kid? What? So he IS for the Capitol, yes?
-I will obey his orders – they're just common sense. And it's good to know that evil incarnate – sorry, Rue – hasn't stolen all the sponsors that are rightfully mine.-
This is getting annoying. Sponsors support those who want to make money. Why would they want to throw it away on a crippled kid? She got an impressive score, so yeah, its understandable. Lucas is sounding like an athlete who lost his best trainer.
-Despite my new and improved speed now that I can use my leg as much as it's capable of, my disability means I'm not going to be winning any races in the near future. But that's just fine. I'm still faster than people expect me to be, and nobody will want to pursue me and miss out on all the goodies at the Cornucopia.-
Plot convienance. The story can't seem to make up its mind on whether he's legitimally crippled or whenver it serves the plot. Even if he's been acting all this time, that still puts a lot of unwanted strain on the other leg, and noting at all on the other. Plus it wears out the arm that supports the cane. He wouldn't be running much at all without a lot of pain.
-Then there's Peeta, from District Twelve. But it can't be him! He declared he loved Katniss on national TV. How could he betray her – for teaming up with the Careers surely counts as a betrayal? Unless… unless he had no choice. Unless they threatened to kill him if he didn't help them catch her. But still, if he loved her he'd give his life for her, wouldn't he?-
But didn't he comment on how he knew it was an act? So he would know he was full of it.
-The reality of the Hunger Games hits me like a punch to the stomach. At home, what happens is terrible but it's happening to someone else. Even in these Games, I hadn't realised the full horror of them. Until I found out Kyra died.-
Why does he hate the Capitol if just now he had the full reality of the games? Its inconsistent with his feelings here. So watching this happen to kids year after year was only a sad thing, but it only matters if its somebody you know.
| Radio Free Death chapter 7 . 7/14/2012
-Luckily the Capitol seems immune to sarcasm, as nobody takes my remark the wrong way. I see a few tributes – mostly those who have already gone – grinning to themselves.-
So does Lucas hate the Capitol or not? I wouldn't call this an act of rebellion. He's still telling them what they want to hear.
So his strength is acting. This is good if he had something to hide. He doesn't seem that he does. He doesn't have anything else to compensate for that.
| Radio Free Death chapter 6 . 7/14/2012
-"Do you really think anyone would want to sponsor us? Even without the exaggerated limp – I'm still a weedy boy with a disability. And it's not like you're any better. Face it – you're a weakling. I'm guessing no weapons skills whatsoever, and you aren't particularly strong or fast or agile. If it wasn't for me and my leg drawing in the sympathy votes, we'd be sponsorless."-
There is an interesting story to tell here. The thing is, why would they care about sponsors? Lucas hates the Capitol, so why does he act like an athlete, who wants the best in everything? THey know they don't stand a chance even with sponsors-what will they give them to help them out? They should instead focus on setting up traps and stuff like that. They know they probably can't fight, so make the best with other alternatives. Lucas even says that she's playing into their hands, but several times in the past chapters Lucas whines about not getting any sponsors and he continues on his act.
-They handle their chosen weapons with ease, in direct contrast to the few other tributes stupid enough to begin with weapons. Those tributes obviously hadn't been warned.-
Uh, what makes them stupid? Stop demonizing your fellow tributes.
Don't need to throw spears to make them effective. That's the worst thing you can do because then you're minus a weapon and somebody can easily attack you. Spears have a nice pointy end that keeps people at bay.
-. With a bow, you just point and shoot. With the others, it's a much more complicated routine before you manage to hit anything.-
The bow is a lot harder than you might imagine. There's the fact that you have to aim, put in the right amount of pressure, it takes a lot of strength to draw it, you need to wear arm protection, and then counting that there's all the outside interferences, like the wind, the arrows themselves, the way they're made, how far away is the target, etc.
-he even gives me some pointers on how to keep my weight off it while fighting, which will probably come in handy.-
What his instructor is saying is that Lucas is going to have one foot on the ground, and you need both feet on the ground and in good footing to fight. The worst thing you can do is have uneven footing. Its easy for somebody to knock you over.
- I have no idea what score I want to get: I know I probably can't get any higher than a seven, and going below a three is really bad for me. Even being the lowest, no matter what the score, is probably bad. Sponsors might give me sympathy, but I figure they'd only want to back someone with a chance, however small, of winning.-
Why would he care about the score? If he scores a high score, then that's like paiting a target on you. So realistically, everybody should be aiming for a low score here, so the trained kids or others will leave them alone.
| Radio Free Death chapter 5 . 7/14/2012
-"This place, where we're standing at the moment, is probably the most secure place in the entire building." Ando says. "No, scratch that. It's the best place you will get to talk until you either die or have been back in District Ten for a few months. There are cameras out here" – I catch a glimpse of a flash of light off a metallic plate – "but the wind shorts out the audio. The trees hide the movement of our mouths from anyone listening and we can see if anyone else comes out here and stop talking, as well as having time to hide and eavesdrop. Knowledge is power, my boy. Never forget that."-
I don't see why it matters. They've already put up the forcefield. They're already going to die in the arena, who cares what they say?
Ando's advice is pretty solid, I'd say.
-"Hand to hand combat. Unarmed fighting. See if you can learn pressure points to cripple an opponent and put you on even footing, if you'll excuse my pun. -
It was good solid advice until this. You won't learn this in a couple of days. HTH combat in particuarlly pressure points takes years to learn and get right. Also, HTH combat? That won't do him any good in a deathmatch. Mostly everybody will have a weapon. And if he manages to win that, he'll be damaged from the struggle, putting him in a worse position as it goes on.
-Analyse them. Learn each of their strengths and weaknesses. Use your own judgement about who will make it past the first day and pay extra attention to those tributes."-
Yeah, but it seems common that the tributes can fake their abilities so Ando could've told him about that, so he wouldn't waste time trying to find out what they're good at and rather focus on sharpening his own skills.
The fact that the Capitol has a poor population isn't like a shocker. What's a shocker is that he's admitting they have all of this food and luxury, and doesn't realize its all due to slave labor.
-The worst thing is, none of the Capitol know what they're missing. They've been brought up on a diet of Hunger Games and selfishness and watching other people suffer.-
The fact that there is a poor and rich class just proves that even in the heart of the empire, there's already social chasms. Wouldn't this rather be used to show that even in the heart of Panem the principal of bread and games still penetrates? Just a thought.
-"I wouldn't know," he says. "History isn't my forte. You'd have to ask Morgan. She knows far more than I do. But I'd guess human nature. It's in the nature of people to be selfish and to care more about their own well being than the suffering of the others who suffer for it."-
So will Lucas take that to heart and not go along with the Capitol's wishes?
And the possibility that there might be people in the Capitol who aren't better off or disagree is thrown out the window with the last line.
There are glimpses of good here. LIke the characters are actually self-aware and act in a slightly believable fashion, but that would be inconvenient to the plot so they don't go any further than they have to.
| Radio Free Death chapter 4 . 7/14/2012
-There's no way I'm going to get any sleep now, so I get up and get dressed.-
How he managed to sleep at all is my biggest question.
-Maybe I threw Aspen into that snake pit, but I didn't plant the trap. My hands are more or less clean, so I'm not as haunted by my victory as most of the others are."-
You still killed him. Ando sounds like a hypocrite.
-"And being cheerful annoys the Capitol more than anything else. They've set it up so that even the victor suffers. They see me perfectly happy and they can't do anything about it. They hate it."-
Huh? Why? Isnt' that what they want? They want kids who are happy with being picked, not crying wrecks, and that certainly extends to the victors. See, they can just point to Ando and say, 'see, that guy is happy killing kids, and that's totally fine by us!'
-We watch the replay in silence for another few minutes. This isn't the whole Games, of course. What we're watching is the three hour highlights video that was made after the Hunger Games.-
It seems so cold. Lucas was disturbed that Ando was watching it, but he doesn't show any emotions himself. No descriptions on TV, nothing.
-Yet another reason I should hate them.-
But he deliberately wanted them to pity him, so why is he arguing?
-A few years before that, they took a page from District Twelve's book and were dressed up as quarry workers. Another year our tributes were simply a block of stone.-
Isn't their district livestock? What do gargoyles have to do with livestock? Or stones? Oh, I guess this was before the book-I see. Yeah, his district is in charge of livestock.
-For the next hour Vesta and the prep team work on my skin to make me look as rocklike as possible, drawing designs that look like the natural grain of the rock onto my skin.-
I take it Vesta hasn't actually seen a chess piece either. The pieces don't look like rocks, and the king piece doesn't resemble an actual person. The whole idea is kinda flawed.
- If everyone knows what I'm really capable of, I don't stand a chance.-
Which is what? So far I haven't seen much of what this character is made of, except for inconsistent feelings for the Capitol.
| Radio Free Death chapter 3 . 7/14/2012
-They see the stereotype, not the individual.-
But that's what he's been doing up until now and still up until now. He's living the stereotype. He used that to his advantage to make people feel sorry for him and give him money.
He's still crippled, so how exactly is he going to win by being like Johanna? He still has a bad leg.
- My way is better – I still look weak, but I manage to salvage some of my ego.-
This passage is confusing. How, by looking weak, I don't get it. Is his way prefferable to baby-weak, or weak-weak?
-As the last of the buildings fades away, the enormity of the situation I am in hits me all at once and it takes all my willpower to stop from crying.-
Really? It took him just now? Maybe he's been holding it in all this time and supressing it, but that's not really true, as he's been playing the 'I need to be strong and even more pathetic' the whole time, meaning he rationalized it. It wasn't a defense mechanism. He deliberately decided to realize his situation now.
-If the Capitol gave them to us, it's my solemn duty to waste as much as possible. Every little rebellion counts.-
How is he fighting the power ? Doesn't he know where those shampoos come from? Probably District One, since it seems that shampoos are rare in other districts, or at least the good ones, so it is a luxury. And District One is just as oppressed. His rebellion is just as useful as if somebody would go to a hotel room in Nazi Germany and throw the complimentary mints in the trash.
-Afterwards I fish through the drawers until I find something decent to wear. In this case a pale blue shirt and some black trousers.-
This is jarring. Before, he was all against the Capitol, but he's okay with wearing their clothes.
- It's more exhausting than it looks, pretending to be more crippled than I am.-
The thing is, if he continues to fake it and pretend to be more crippled than he really is, it'll be permanent. The leg will get damaged this way and it'll be sore the longer this act continues.
-A sea of seventeen and eighteen year olds rushes at the stage, with the first boy and girl there declared the tributes.-
IF this is supposed to be them fighting for the glory of the districts and win and get the respect and whatnot, wouldn't they choose whoever is suitable for winning, rather than this mobfest that achives nothing? I mean, what will they do if five of them make up on the stage at the same time? Wrestle? Kill one another? These are the supposed trained districts who most likely have kids set up to take the fall so the other non-trained ones wouldn't have to.
-She has red hair, a face that resembles a fox and an expression that looks like she's permanently up to something. She'll be one to look out for.-
So that's why she died after eating poisonus berries.
-Six, Seven, Eight, Nine. Nothing out of the ordinary here, with all the tributes looking various degrees of pathetic and scared witless. One or two look relatively normal, and the boy from Seven looks like he might constitute a threat. None of the others stick in my memory though.-
Let's call them pathetic. Better to not address them, since that'll be too much work. I mean come on, I might sound harsh, but you need to make these kids actually have personalties, rather than the main character just dismiss them outright and only focus on the ones that are clearly antagonistic.
| Radio Free Death chapter 2 . 7/14/2012
-they have to carry her father over in the special chair-
Which is what? If it isn't a wheelchair, what is it?
-Quietly, of course. There are spies everywhere.-
That didn't stop them from calling him Lardbutt.
The hugging scene was pretty cheesy. I mean, the reaction is so weird. Especially if he told her this before, why would she suddenly gasp and say 'this is the nicest thing anybody's ever said'?
-Do you know what that means? The less food there is, the more it costs, according to one of the rules of North America's ancient economic system. In other words, Lardbutt steals food from the district. There is now less food, therefore the price of food goes up. This means that the poorer citizens cannot afford food, and then they die of starvation. Or they need more tesserae, thus increasing their chances of dying by being chosen in the Hunger Games.-
He alone eats the entire food that belongs to the district? Not even Lardbutt could eat through an entire colony's worth of food.
-Or Morgan, for that matter. She was before my time.-
So people don't talk about it? Don't they show reruns? Since the Games seem so heavily indoctrinated in their lives, this would be hot news.
-"Happy Hunger Games everybody," she trills in her supper annoying Capitol accent, which is particularly strong in her. "And may the odds be ever in your favour."-
1. She can't help her accent. She's born in the Capitol.
2. I don't think it had anything to do with what she ate for supper :P
3. Why must she be a clone of Effie Trinket?
-I must show no weakness, not until I can meet with Ren and talk to her about what I want to do. For another thing, it throws the Capitol's viewing order even further off schedule. It seems that their live broadcasting isn't going to work out today I think, as I hear the clock strike half past one. Good.-
But isn't he already playing into their hands by not crying? Isn't that what they want you to act, like you're okay with it? He hates them and deliberately ruins their plans. So why not?
- or they're a spy.-
A spy for what? There's no other country besides Panem, and what is a spy for? What purpose is there for a spy to be there? It just sounds like Lucas was running out of worst optios and went with this.
-"I never knew you had it in you to make such a speech."-
More of a statement. Or a request.
I don't get why he has to play the 'I'm worse than what you see' card, since it seems that by the carving he's given, he can't touch his ankle on the ground. He says he can walk fine but he can't.
The final exchange between him and Ren felt so casual. It didn't feel like it was him going to his death.
| Radio Free Death chapter 1 . 7/14/2012
-How? Well the answer, like so many other things in life, is simple, if you use a bit of logic and common sense. Really it should be called uncommon sense, since no one – especially not the Capitol – seems to have it.-
PUN ALERT! ABORT! ABORT!
No, really, that wasn't a good line. Please don't use bad puns.
-"This is reaping day, or have you forgotten that already? We have a holiday, idiot."-
Is Reaping Day a holiday? Quite frankly, its just one ceremony, they pick out a couple of kids, the entire district feels miserably. I guess you could call it a holiday if its to celebrate surrender, but if anything wouldn't the Capitol consider it a holiday? Hmm.
Why is the family Irish? The name Eoin, for starters. Mum and Nan. Wouldn't the family be more Southern, since lifestock?
-he worked at the quarries-
I thought D10 was directed towards livestock and directed towards cattle. Why would they have quarries? That's D12.
-Twelve pitched in a bit too, as did Nine, but we were closest in the resources we had so we took over most of their work.-
Since when? 0_0
-No idea why. Linking me with my father's death is one of the most illogical things I've ever heard. I'm not a vicious Career for heavens sake! And I don't think that even a Career would want to kill their own parents!-
Is there ever going to be an explanation or is Big Brother just doing it for the Lols?
-Aunty A was born with a terrible name herself (Andromeda) and she seems to think it's her life mission to make someone else have to put up with also having a bad name.-
Why did mom say yes to that? DId she hate her daughter too?
-He has more of a chance that I do, but District Ten is still one of the poorer districts. -
Who are the wealthier districts, if I might ask?
-"I'm sorry. I didn't remember what day it was." -
She didn't remember its the Reaping? How can she forget something like that? And even if it was an act, to what benefit? What's the point of lying? To make him feel better? To...I don't know, its just not a good excuse.
Its not that bad of a chapter, but nothing's achieved much. Kudos for not be simply about the reaping, but not much is achieved. The irrational hatred for this kid is a bit much. I mean, he's taking tesserae, so what's the big deal? And he makes money, not a lot, but come on, this is another poor district. Nobody was going to make enough money anyway.
| mxnhpfreak chapter 1 . 6/27/2012
Off to read more xD
Thanks for sharing!