|Reviews for The Shortest Distance from A to B|
| Kisdota-The Freak Gamer chapter 12 . 9/29/2009
BA DADA BAN, JUST WHAT I NEEDED, SO TELL ME NOW THAT THE SECRETS OUT ARE THE TWO GONNA GO THROUGH A BUNCH OF AKWARD, FUNNY, AND DRAMATIC SITUATIONS THAT LEAD THE TWO TO BECOME A COUPLE, OR IS THERE NO FLUFF RELATED STUFF INVOLVED, I MEAN YOU DON'T HAVE ROMANCE OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN THE CATAGORY, BUT THE STORY SEEMS TO IMPLIE THAT THE TWO ARE GONNA GET HOOKED UP,
| Lady Cheshire chapter 11 . 9/26/2009
Some awesome AU work here. You've done a great job of slipping the mechanics of the game into the storyline here (I always thought it was funny when Chie would say 'let's go save Yukiko!' and then you'd say 'Today's bad for me. . .' Ouch). Kanji is perfectly bullheaded in this chapter, and as a result completely in character. Nice work with Souji here too. Can't wait for your next update!
| Resha04 chapter 11 . 9/25/2009
Souji is really a leader.
I know of we're in the game,the social links are as important as the dungeons, but in the story that just doesn't seem right.
I mean, your friends are waiting for you and you cancel the meeting because of a drama club?
Man, I was so pissed off too when I read this chapter.
Looking forward to the next chapter
| Resha04 chapter 10 . 9/25/2009
Love this chapter.
How Naoto's shadow tortured her with words, you made it amazing!
| Resha04 chapter 8 . 9/25/2009
Chie is so kind...
I always like her because of her I don't like it if she started kicking yosuke XD
| Resha04 chapter 6 . 9/24/2009
Really,really love this fic *melting*
| Resha04 chapter 5 . 9/24/2009
Aww...Rise seemed really...really...drunk...
And imagining how she fell on top of Naoto, who is tiny, not small, is funny.
| Resha04 chapter 4 . 9/24/2009
I totally love this chapter!
The whole chapter!
My fangirl went crazy...
| Resha04 chapter 3 . 9/24/2009
I love many parts of this fic!
The bookstore part and the after school part are realy cool!
| Resha04 chapter 2 . 9/24/2009
I like the naoto vs the cop yelling part
| Resha04 chapter 1 . 9/24/2009
Another KanjixNaoto fic! I love this pairing the most!
This chapter is good,especially at how you described Kanji's feelings.
| Cat Alex chapter 11 . 9/24/2009
Another great chapter. Also a nice look at how baffling Souji must look to the other characters as he gallivants off to basketball practice, shopping with Ai, perhaps a quick chat with the old lady by the river, etc, lol. I really like how you're portraying Kanji, as he comes across a bit of a mixed bag sometimes in the game. Blushing one moment, threatening the next. Might just be me, though. Anyway, I like the kind of rising desperation he can't quite justify to himself being shown here. Anyway, can't wait for more!
| Rayless Night chapter 11 . 9/24/2009
I like the liberties you take with this chapter, also how they tie in with the game's mechanics. The "dream", especially, great touch. Kanji going in without Souji feels in character, him backsliding because he's frightened and frustrated. Rise's also done well there, caught between guilt and common sense.
"Kanji still wasn't sure if he wanted to be Naoto"... Interesting, unusual lead-off, but, hey, it does fit with Kanji's personality.
Souji's a standout at the end, his anger, the relentless insistence on Kanji's trust. And then Souji doesn't come through in time. Good thing Kanji will never know.
"leaned back in his chair[,] ignoring..."
style thing, but you could omit "back" from "brushing...behind his ears".
"Toolong" - spacing typo.
With this chapter done, I'll go back to the pacing - I think stringing it out this long was justified, given what happened here. Individual scenes (info-gathering) could be tightened slightly, but in all, the chapters successfully carry the tension.
| Rayless Night chapter 10 . 9/24/2009
Great interlude. Similar to Quicksilver, but stands on its own - I think there's more that's explored here.
May favorite part is at the very beginning, the way the Shadow changes sex "with the light". Nice, symbolic of the path Naoto's failing to tread, but I also like how it's shifting with the light - key to her Persona's makeup.
Details are excellent, Naoto's constant commands to herself, consciously pitching her voice lower, the brief but telling description of her at thirteen. The repetition of "Rationalize", which is what this is all about, perhaps. And you write the Shadow so well, showing him/her shifting not only from male to female but from adult to child. And how near the end, it sounds just like herself.
All the parenthetical sections are really good, in fact. The last one, especially; I want to know more. Stylistically, they work very well to kick the tension into high gear.
Second favorite part is at the end - the Shadow's panic. Very Naoto, and it dovetales with the Secret Base's intercom, the way it grows more panicked and desperate the further the team goes.
Crits? Nope, none.
| BonusParts chapter 11 . 9/24/2009
Whew! You really know how to pack a punch with these chapters!
I really enjoy Kanji's interactions with the rest of the team, and it's great to see Rise take some initiative with the action, as well. Your take on Personae is similar to mine, so it's nice to see how they play out in a fight.
And what a fight! Great moments from all of the fighters - and Rise, too. The only tick was that you mention Kanzeon first, and later, after they leave the base, it's Himiko with Rise. I think it's just a mistype?
I am curious about Souji's link with Yumi Ozawa, and how that relates to going after Naoto (or not going after Naoto). Perhaps he knows that the link will allow him to have a stronger Persona? Also, great line from Kanji about Souji having Personae coming out of his ears! Even though it's a serious moment, I had to laugh at that one!
And, of course, I love seeing a side to Yosuke that's not just an immature prick...though that's fun, too. :)