I love this story, Kanji and Naoto make such a cute couple lol. Everybody is perfectly in character, and the extra bits you added fit in great.

ah, I am loving this so far! You have Kanji's voice down perfectly, with all his inner conflict, awkwardness, sweetness and foul temper kept intact. The additional scenes are great, and all the characters are voiced really well.

Your Naoto, of what we've seen of her thus far, is excellent as well~

I really enjoyed the Chie and Kanji interactions in this chapter too. I love the idea of the two biggest bruisers on the team being good friends, since yanno, they can share in their love of...eating and...beating the crap out of stuff. :B all the investigation team are done well, Souji being the constant voice of reason. And Team Mom once or twice.

Overall, it's very funny, well-written and engaging and I'm really looking forward to more 3 Don't leave me hanging for too long~

Really, really on top of these characters, you are. This was a nice and detailed look into the way the team works. It was also touching to see everyone come together in their own ways. I like how Souji is the voice of reason and keeps a cool head even when he knows it's probably driving Kanji crazy.

This is turning into one of my favorite stories, even though I know - ostensibly - how it ends.

Great suspense and dialogue. You deserve more reviews with thisone!

I really liked the extra description and dialogue in the scenes between Kanji and Naoto, and Kanji and Yukiko. They really give insight into the type of man that he is - conflicted but still a good kid at heart. I also appreciate the slow burn of interest he's got with Naoto throughout...though I'm curious to see what happens next, with the Underground Lab dungeon. :)

nice fic! and i love your kanji! xD he seems so cool, and funny.

Very cute omiyage scene, between Rise, Kanji, and Naoto. I can see the bonds strengthening between the three first-years, even given Naoto's mysterious nature. They're definitely coming together with the kind of intimacy that is alluded to later in the game. Nice job!

Great characterizations all around! The prep for the trip, and Kanji's feelings about the train, were particularly well-done in this chapter. I liked how he thought they were going to be on a shinkansen, but just the slightly faster train was impressive enough for him.

I love how Yousuke is such a dick but still kind of endearing (but he's one of my favorites, so, you know, blatant bias from me there).

Thanks for not going through the whole King's Game sequence again, too. It's a funny part of the game, but it feels like I read that one a lot.

Sorry these reviews are taking me so long, but I do want to review each one properly. :)

Once again, great Kanji characterization. I like his interactions with Naoto quite a bit; even the somewhat-condescending "kid" moniker for Naoto sounds pretty natural coming from a big, sweet tough like Kanji.

The bookstore scene is a nice contrast of the two characters. I can tell that the two of them are becoming more comfortable around each other; just the honesty and simple straight-forwardness of their conversation is evidence of that.

Very well done; I should study your stories a little more closely to get a handle on how to write a good Kanji. :)

I really like KanjixNaoto stories, and so far this and your other stories on the couple are my favorite.

You write it very well, and keep all of the characters in character.

Its all very easy to read and you don't rush the story so I find myself looking forward to the next chapter very much.

I would sure love to see more KanjiNaoto from you!

Keep up the good work!

I like the inner conflict that Kanji is having regarding his feelings for Naoto here. Naoto being perceived as a jerk by Kanji by virtue of him (Naoto, that is) being part of the police.

I love it!

Very strong characterization here. Great work showing Naoto's rising tension/unraveling as she sets her plans - she's pulling away from the people's she's setting up as her saviors. Very un-constructive and very Naoto. Shows up in what she says, also the smaller physical details - leaning against/clutching the fence, her quick reflex when Kanji grabs her shoulder. I like the reversion to Kanji's surname and the argument around it.

Final part of the first scene - I get the feeling Naoto can tell he's lying. Whatever he says there, she isn't going to believe it.

Also, thanks for showing part of the second half of the interview. The bit about trauma was great touch. And significant others...poor Kanji, looking for hope in anything. He'd make a great shipper.

Great interaction between Kanji and his ma. Really captures their dynamic.

Scene on the street is another favorite, works as a good parallel to the scene in August. Similar in a lot of ways, but so much has changed. Aside from that, you do an excellent job with the tension, both in dialogue and actions. And she calls him "Kanji" at the end, even though she's angry. Pity we can't get it from Naoto's POV too.

Finally, I think you hit just the right note of forced/frustrated nonchalance in the last section.

Crit:

"Look...if y'need help with something...I can, yeah?" - I think I get what Kanji's saying there, and the disjointed wording is fine because he's nervous, but the punctuation is a bit iffy.

"pulled another plate out (of) the sink and (wiped) it" - better flow

Niteline or Nitewatch?

"inconsistency must be examined."

Maybe single quotes on "Detective Prince's True Identity"? (I know quote rules vary, so I'm going with the one I'm clearest on.)

(")Amazingly..."

"...little worried about him." - period, not comma, since it's followed by a separate action from Yukiko speaking.

But truly my worst crit is that chapter 7 isn't up.

Nice start! I like your characterization of Kanji quite a bit, and he's one of my favorites, so I'm definitely coming back for more. I especially enjoy his self-realizations on 5/23, even if they come a bit early in terms of his S-Link. But then, we never really get to know what any of the characters are thinking in their heads, so maybe it's not too early.

It's a little bit jumpy between days, but I do understand why - if I've played the game already, I should know what's happened and should only need a quick recap. I like the fleshing-out of some of the referenced scenes (like where he's fixing his hair in the bathroom), though - they're very nicely done.

I'll check out the rest of the chapters over the next couple of days, so I can review properly. _

*SQUEAL!* New chapter! *Dances* Yea, now we're getting interesting!

I remember this part! Kanji was so hurried, and was also very pissed off at Naoto too (and keeps calling him an idiot)! Oh wow, I can't wait for the next part and see your take on the event and Kanji's angry POV!