evan como chapter 3 . 1/12/2002
Dear Potential Reader,

Hmmm. I often wonder why more people don't review my work either. Perhaps it's the addage: "If you can't say something nice..."

I'm not opposed to critism. We, as amateur authors, learn from our mistakes. But those are lessons best taken in private. Starbug's review should have been sent to me, personally, with a list of all the words he/she found unecessary.

I'll admit it. I enjoy using a dictionary. I use that dictionary to make sure that I'm using certain words in their correct context. I dig using my Synonym Finder for different word choices in much the same way an artist chooses to use color in a rendering. Sure, I can use the adjective 'dark' throughout this fic, but over the course of 40 pages, that gets repetitive. And more than a little dull.

a) "God yes," Wesley replied, engulfed by a comber of isolation more turbulent than his own.

- or -

b) "God yes," Wesley replied. He was saddened by a feeling sadder than his.

Starbug would have you belive that the entire story is written like example 'a'. It's not. Nor is it written like example 'b'. It is written in my style, though, with the way I plot and the way I write the characters. Not the way most fanfiction is written, for sure. But, why should it have to be?

If you have a problem with someone's fic - *anyone's* fic, write them directly. If you have questions about a story, ask the author. As readers, you want better stories; as authors, we want to write them. Unfortunately, discouraging public comments aren't going to pave the path towards that goal.

starbug chapter 1 . 1/11/2002
I am always surprised more readers don't review your work. The premise here, as always, is interesting, the imagery captivating. My sole complaint is your use of language. Yes, there are lots of beautiful words out there. No, they don't all have to fit into one sentence/paragraph/fic!

At times, I was wading through passages seem stilted at times, pleasurable reading jarred by a tendancy to embellish every simple scene with elaborate language.

Sometimes less is more. This is only one opinion and I mean this as constructive criticism (I'm studying English lit at postgrad level, they've drummed criticism into me!). As I said, I enjoy your work and funnily enough, prefer your fic before it is beta-ed!. Lose the dictionary, concentrate on your story. Its always worth telling.