|Reviews for Heartbreaker|
| explodinghead chapter 1 . 11/21/2012
Pitiful. There is nothing here. Random pile of emotion.
This should be a zero-fic. There is no reason for this nonsense to waste space on this website.
What's with the grammar abuse?
Good luck with all future projects.
| leechlover1901 chapter 1 . 6/16/2010
CONTINUE! it is good so far! this could also turn out to be an amazing story! so, please continue! Please
| meant chapter 1 . 6/13/2010
I couldn't tell when the actual story started. I mean, why is this indented? Because it's supposed to show the past? And why repeat the title? It's just going to confuse the readers.
And oh, when did you start the authors note?
Okay, so, seriously, you need to use some divisions here! We readers can't tell the difference when you begin the story, and when you start an author’s note. Plus, "Sooooo...on and on and on" isn't proper grammar. You don't explain the story, and is this a diary entry of sorts?
Tons of room for improvement. On the bright side, you capitalized. That shows you have some grasp on the human language.
Alright, I admit, I'm flaming you. My friend, you need a rude awakening. I see this is probably your first story, and you've obviously written many more. A word of advice? Re-write this. I think it has potential, but you'll have to put a lot of effort in to save this. And if you don't plan on continuing it- delete it. It looks bad on your stories list.
| Lauren chapter 1 . 9/4/2009
I think you should continue. It could be a great fanfic.
Please contiune! Please. :)
| edwrad luver chapter 1 . 8/31/2009
i think u should continue but mayb make it a lot longer!watever u do ust make sure jacob dies and bella doesnt feel srry for him or watever! dont let her cry for jake infront of edward cuz that wud b just mean lol
| Bedwardloverx chapter 1 . 8/31/2009
| Lauren chapter 1 . 8/31/2009
It is very good! Please write more chapters!