Reviews for Land Before Time: Far Away Home
Kaue Lima Candido chapter 1 . 12/24/2020
É incrível a história. Quase chorei no final
Novice Neophyte chapter 43 . 1/28/2020
*claps* It took a long time, but I finally finished it. Beautiful story. Probably one of the best The Land Before Time fics I've read so far.
LBTFanfiction-li chapter 43 . 4/10/2018
I wounder what Ruby and Swiftwalkers babies will look like( if they have any ) also what dino is Siak and the jungle runners
DesertLily32 chapter 43 . 12/30/2015
I Liked/Loved/thought was cool/interesting points: Xavier’s dream compering to what happened to Ruby. Petite’s broken wing. Littlefoot beating up Regar and ultimately killing him. Littlefoot being poisoned and Ali putting the leaves in his mouth. The title Archon. Subspecies between Oviraptors with the plains and jungle runners (I have similar types in my own stories). Eybron stealing the relics. Eybron not telling the elders about the Ocular. Dara. Doc is alive! Star and Eybron’s chat about freedom. Edwin guarding Star. Chomper’s new way of walking. Chomper’s parent’s and them not approving of his leaf-eater friends. Swiftwalker’s name. Gentry almost stealing an egg. Ruby and Swiftwalker relationship. Azion’s fireball and shadows. Eybron the one having the sharpteeth attack. Eybron having eaten the baby sharpbeak. Ocular in Eybron mouth so it does not ring. The Eye of the World hidden in the tree. Eye of the World granting amazing sight and burning something in a minute. Edwin a good guy. Eybron’s plant to get Sky and Glide away from Star. Conversation between Doc and Eybron. Ruby kissing Swift. Thylo intervening between Cera and Ruby. Siak killing her mate on his request. Shaprtooth’s Trust. Azion’s smart complicated way of speaking. Cinceel’s daughter as a healer. Glide not killing Cinceel. Sturgeon as one of the elders. Cera’s change in personality. Junglerunner war paint. Ruby, Swift, and Thud fighting. Tyrus killing his uncle then taking Chomper’s mother as his mate. Ruby’s flashbacks and the almost cliffhanger. Ruby and Swift snuggling. Winning the Runner vs. Sharpteeth fight. Edwin killed ? The sharpbeak raising Eybron until he became too big. Eybron burning Star and wanting to burn the Feral Forest. Barrau becoming good. Cera maturing. “May the wind be at your back and the Great Circle shine on your feathers…I mean scales”. Eybron thinking highly of Sky. Eybron is a psychopath. The other adults actually attacked by wingtail waste. Foreshadowing of Cloud’s name. Eybron wanting to rape Star. Star burning Eybron. “Everything hurt. That was good.” The fight between Glide, Star, and Sky. Doc destroying the Eye of the World. Sky and Star dancing in the sky. Star day present and pun. Azion rising Siak’s children. Cooked fish. Cloud hatching and the way he was named. Chomper visiting his friends one last time. Glide catching a fish for Star and Cloud. Theanol as elder leader. The Trial for all of Eybron’s followers to help Azion. Glide mentioning that he would fend off wingtails if Sky was given the death sentence. Glide rewarded title of Master of the Tree of Relics. “The only Star in my sky.” Star emitting that she killed Eybron. Sky lying about the sharpteeth and him to stay out of the Feral Forest for 10 years. Featherball. Sky to live in the Great Valley. Glide giving Sky the Ocular. Azion telling Littlefoot about Bron still alive in the Forgotten Forest. Thylo not going home (she is quite naive). Adored ending credits.

Questions/problems
I feel like everyone is Cera’s group would know everyone’s names (I think it was when Chomper didn’t know their names…)
Petire’s wing is healed so soon? I feel like in that chapter was…maybe a day or so. Would take at least a few weeks, I think.
Has it been over a year since the Gang has been away from the Great Valley?
How did Eybron know the broken egg would have been a sister?
Azion Sky’s father?
Wish their was a picture of Siak. What species is she, I know you called her a spikemouth and she eats fish, so is she a type of spinosaours.

Ugh! It sounds like a robot wrote it. This way of commenting is a lot easily but way less meaningful to the author. I would try to write a little better one, but I’m really bad at writing comments…I hope I don’t sound too rude with the questions. I really did like the story and I absolutely loved the ending and would have liked a sequel.
DesertLily32 chapter 25 . 12/26/2015
I liked: Older Glide and how his personality and appearance has changed. Lander’s comment. Thylo’s personality (reminds me of Tippy and my own Stegosaurs character, Orchid). Gentry being an albino. How Xavier got his name. Glide crying. Ruby comforting him and bringing him fish. Sky giving Star a flower. Tyrus holding onto sharptooth honor. The interactions between Eybron and Star. Thylo’s past (with her not finding the Verdant Valley interesting and volunteering to be taken.) Verdant Valley by the volcano. Thylo biting Glide’s tail. Verdant Valley having diversity but making everyone rude. Ruby being stolen. The comment made by one of the wingtails about Glide that he should have dealt with the others in the cave already. Chomper and Glide flying together. The story of Abyss Lake. Eybron showing his dominance over Ruby. Star comforting Ruby. The Chaos when Chomper and Glide came to the scene. Eybron biting Ruby’s tail. Littlefoot’s gut feeling that something bad was going to happen. The volcano exploding. Cera and the other escaping. Burning sky and thunder storm volcano (which can happen in real life it that’s what you meant). Eybron possibly having a sibling. His infanthood with the sharpbeak and killing the children. Eybron not rescuing his father. Glide like Star more than a sister. Eybron teaming up with Tyrus.

Questions and Issues:

How old and Sky and Glide?

Fur coat? Wingtails are birds/bird-like creatures, aren’t they? They would only have feathers and possibly scales. Also, if you would ever get back to this story or maybe a newer one, describe the characters in a little bit deeper detail. For anyone who has not looked at the pictures of Glide, they would have not known he had a white under color/chest.

With Sky and Star mating. Does Sky truly know that the actions would produce an offspring? Not every mating creates children. Animals have cycles when they are ready to reproduce/go into heat. Some only a few weeks during the year while others a day per month.

How’d Edwin get into Eybron’s guard. Is it because he’s smart?
DesertLily32 chapter 15 . 12/26/2015
I’ll just state what I really liked instead of typing, “I liked” all the time.

I liked: The stories of Chomper told to the children. Topps as a teacher and how he brags about himself. Chomper and Ruby going off after Cera (diverges to plotline more). Chomper eating all the fish Ruby caught. The architecture of the wingtails’ trees (similar to the glass building. Gives the story a more human-like quality but without going overboard). Sky throwing away that diamond, howing how gemstones only matter to creatures for appearance or greed. Sky’s feet and legs aching form the walking. The Fish Trade (I like seeing culture-like stuff in these types of stories. It gives them more depth). The legend of Crater Glen. Sky thinking about the children when he was faced by Tyrus. The game Sky played with Tyrus and scalding him. Eybron being an unknown villain at first. Ruby’s mistakes when speaking the carnivore language. The description of the Sconocion (did I spell it right?). Shorty flirting with Ali and then getting into a fight with Littlfoot. Stalkers called child-killers and the scars that identify them as Stalkers. Cera’s boasting and her getting in trouble for it. Star stealing the Ocular. The “longneck games” (It would be cool to have more stories that are more based in the LBT universe than just with the cannon characters.) The fights with Bron and the fastbiters along with Ruby’s, Chomper’s, and the wingtail twins’ fight. Pressure points pressed in Chomper’s jaws to make him release the darker wingtail twin. Cliffhangers. Glide getting wounded with his ‘fight’ with Sky in the ending. The fastbiters killing the other wingtails and Redgar not killing Sky.

Now for the questions and problems.

I have a slight issue with the story-telling method that you use in the beginning of each act. The problem I see is that it gives away a few things about the characters. We know who survives, that Sky is on good terms with Ruby, Sky has a kid with Star, who gets with who, etc. I like to read a bit more suspense. I’m not trying to be too critical here, it’s just a notation for any future writing. I know you would probably not waste your time in changing all those scenes.

Why wouldn’t the Gang be able to find their way back to the Great Valley? By the sound of it, the Feral Forest is more or less, a two-week travel, on foot, from the Great Valley. I would think they would be able to find their way back. Sure, there’s lots of predator’s, but they are older have faced many before. If you would have look back over this story again, I think the time spans need to be explained a better.

Why did Glide return to the Feral Forest? It doesn’t really make much sense if he knew he would be punished if you didn’t bring it back. Was it just to visit Star?

I think carnivorous dinosaurs can swim…I know they may have said something about it in the movies but…

Red pupils? Don’t you mean red irises? In most animals you don’t seen the white part of the eye anyway.

Why would it be not possible for a leafeater to speak sharptooth when sharpteeth can speak lefteater? You said sharpteeth don’t have a word for friend… then I noticed that Chomper used the word ‘friend,’ a few times later on. Did he make a word for friend then? I also don’t care for the part where Theron has to control his hunger. I think it’s just become I’m more of a fan of carnivores and I don’t care for who mindless they seem in your story.
DesertLily32 chapter 7 . 12/20/2015
I like that Ali wanted to go with Sky and that she has started to come out of her shell a bit more. I also like that Sky doesn’t like Ruby. It gives the story a very interesting abrasive feel with their interactions that I haven’t really read in any other story.

Glad you made Sky worry about traveling with the whole Gang. Not only would it not be safe, but the parents would be very, very worried. It’s not like some stories where I feel they just go off without even worrying about their parents. But why can’t they return to the Great Valley? I know seems like the Feral Forest is really far away, but wouldn’t they be able to maybe find their way back? Why would all of them go? They would, supposedly, never see their relatives again.

I love that you destroyed Saurus Rock and that you mentioned Doc might have met his end. I like that you remembered to keep the distorting of light reflecting off water property of the Ocular. I really like the part with Creators. It’s simple but so complicated for dinosaurs or almost another other creature.

I like that you had the Land of the Mists change become of what the earthquake had done to it. I like that you mention about Ali and Littlefoot growing up and that they are developing these strange feelings and they don’t understand why they feel like this. Nice description of it with comparing it to the Land of Mists.

I like that you called fastrunners, junglerunners because they live in the jungle. I like that you had Cera, Ruby, and Chomper become separate from the others. You can use the characters better and split of the plotline. I know if you have too many at one time in one place, you can’t really use them all too well.

So much happens in that one fight scene with the sharpteeth and Sky and Glide and the others running. I like that Sky throws the Ocular so that Glide would be required to fight the sharpteeth for it. I don’t care for, however, is the part where Sky makes Petrie retrieve the Ocular back. I feel like it’s almost…selfish of him or something. I know Sky’s wounded and all, but I just can’t see Petrie really doing that. The way you worked it out was still fine, but…eh.

Why are sharpteeth dumb? I know it was stated in the movies that they are, but everywhere else they are cunning killers. They need to be smart to hunt their prey. How else would they eat?

When Cera is crying, you really got her personality down.

That sounds so morbid but so cool about Tyrus eating his siblings. I also find it cool that you made Tyron blind and that the Ocular helped him see. I like the name the sharpteeth gave it too: Stone of Seeing. There was one problem though. If was wasn’t listening to this on my iPod while I walk on the treadmill, I would have had a hard time telling them apart half the time with such similar names.

Love the part where Tyrus killed the other fastbiter of the messenger’s food. Shows that he really doesn’t care who he kills. It gives him a strange psychopathic feel to him.

(Gosh! I say “I like,” enough. Eh, I can’t really criticize your story too badly. I don’t want to offend you with me begin supper nit-picky and this story is kind of old. Well, off to the next review!)
DesertLily32 chapter 4 . 12/17/2015
This is a big giant comment just for the first four chapters, gosh! (I’m rereading all the stories I have favorited. I wasn’t going to really comment as much as this but…) Like many stories I have read, you have nice writing. You have nice scenery description. Mostly, I’m going to be stating what I liked that happened in the story. I may ask a few questions, which I probably are not going to get answer because this is an older story, but I never know.

Is Xavier blue in color from his grandmother (Littlefoot’s mom)? Just wondering because I’m a bit obsessed with genetics. Not major, but I do get a little annoyed when there is a character that is bright red when both partners are either black or brown and there is no red coloration known in the family line.

I really like the idea of the Ocular. Like how it’s mainly a magnifying glass but can be used for other things too, like the stopping of sunlight reflecting off the water and the thing with the Eye of the World. It’s a cool way of getting technology into a dinosaur world without going overboard. I don’t really care for stories that have computers, cellphones, vehicles, even just electricity and houses in the LBT world. With any human story, I only like seeing the survival gear and simple hunting weapons (bow and arrows, knives, blow dart, sword (even though that’s not hunting)).

Love how Sky started telling his story by using the Ocular. I also find it cool that you made Guido much older than the Gang. I find it cute how his mate his harassing him about so many things. Ah…the joys of fatherhood with a hormonal mate.

Few question before I forget about them.
1) Did you say the leader was a he? What happened to the Old One? Did she die? (You may have mentioned this later one in the story, but I can’t remember all that I read before.)
2) Was Saurus Rock really that close to the Great Valley? How far was it in the original movie? I know there’s Saurus Rock in the 6th movie…I don’t know, maybe I’m just over thinking this.
3) Where’s the Black Mountain? Were you going to write a story about that? I know you were going to do a sequel but never got to it… I find it cool that you gave Guido a region where he comes from. I like that you gave Guido a bit more have a backstory since he doesn’t remember any of his life when he got amnesia. (I wonder what happened for him to forget everything. There should be a story about that.)
4) When Sky stops the hopping fish in…chapter 2. I thought it was already dead.

I liked the game Sky ‘played’ with Guido and that Guido was able to answer correctly on his very first try. The ringing of the Ocular is also really cool too and then the earthquake comes. I love that idea. But, I thought glass shatters at a high pitched sound? Unless I’m wrong.

You really got the character’s personalities down. Like Ruby’s way of speaking and Cera’s anger issues.

Did you get the hunting thing with Ruby and Chomper along with the exile part from Lion King?

When Littlefoot and Ali decided to try and eat Petrie out… they would have to eat A LOT. I like Petrie’s comment about being too young to be eaten when Sky snapped at the branches. I don’t remember seeing a nose fork on any of the pictures. I like that Littlefoot stepped on a pinecone and thought it was the Ocular. I also like the idea of the Creators and Sky counting the dinosaur species.

I like some of the more complicated names. They’re really cool. I like that you added era-like times in your story. The history of some of the dinosaurs. I’m guessing wingtails are the smartest of the dinosaurs in this story. I like the wind dancing, woodcutting and glass making mentioned for Creators to do.

The foreshadowing is wonderful too. Like the mention of the two children, Glide’s grudge, and Eybron association with Star later one in the story.

I really like it when authors are able to give their characters different personalities (I’ve read some where they aren’t really all the different). Like you give Sky an very intelligent personality where he sometimes becomes to immersed in it. Star with her very caring ways. Glide and his bad-tempered attitude, yet very caring towards his sister. And Eybron and his superiority and almost psychotic-likeness later on.

I like the Corodian and how it was made to find the Ocular. I like that Star is a teacher and that that was another reason how her and Sky connected. I liked the sibling interaction between Star and Glide.
Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 43 . 3/17/2012
I'm kind of sad to see this finished after so long. But alas, all stories come to an end, even the good ones that we don't want to see end. Will there be a sequel? Because that 'He still is' line of Aizen's makes me think that he's Sky's father, or at least knows who he is.
Vulaan Kulaas chapter 42 . 3/6/2012
No! It's almost over! ;_; But this fic rocked,and it needs a sequel. xD
Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 42 . 1/31/2012
I SO was not expecting Glide to be rewarded... Least of all not that highly. But now that it happened, I honestly don't know why I didn't see it coming before. Update soon!
Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 41 . 1/30/2012
Yay, Sky's a daddy! XD I kind of half expected him to faint, either out of shock or joy. When is Littlefoot's group going to meet up with Cera's? I wanna see how awkward that reunion is. "You... got big..." "Erm... yeah, you... too..." Update soon!
Thunderblade chapter 25 . 12/29/2011
Finished reading Act 3 and what a delight it's been. Tales of loss, betrayal,deception and treason; couldn't ask for a better mix. As per usual, solid portrayal of characters and excellent fleshing of the Wingtail race. The collaboration of the LBT characters and the Wingtails is preety much seamless, as if they co-existed with each other since the first movie! Great job! Things are definitely heating up (no pun intended given what's happened. Can't wait to get up stuck into the fourth act!

P.S. Sorry it's taking me so long to get these reviews in. I've only just gotten back onto and got a backlog three miles long.
Shiningheart of ThunderClan chapter 30 . 5/28/2011
Awesome. At least it wasn't a long neck from Bron's valley they saw. Update soon!
RevRav chapter 39 . 5/28/2011
Great. I think, and a lot may agree with me, that you should indeed make a sequel to this. It's an extremely interesting story that I for one enjoy reading greatly.
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