|Reviews for Training Tails|
| Guest chapter 1 . 2/15
When are you going to put traveller tails or lylat tails I've been waiting for them
| Guest chapter 31 . 1/19
In my option you got a good story. I hope to read the next one soon. Russell Shuey
| johnsmmall chapter 9 . 10/28/2013
This is such a badass story! thanks for writing it. I love how you really developed tails into such an awesome fighter and as a person.
| Phaenur chapter 1 . 9/23/2013
Well, this is a fun journey. I'm not really familiar with the DBZ cast, but I definitely know Sonic (and Star Fox, but you aren't quite there yet). For that matter, by the time I finished my first read-through (which actually only ended at Spy Tails back in February or so; I have to go through and finish it again now) I was fairly confident I understood the characters and framework of DBZ too, and that's something that very few fics can do well.
That's hardly the only thing you did well, of course. There's a sense of sheer joy in this story that I haven't seen matched anywhere else. There're witty lines, silly situations, alliteration on every line...even though there are mechanical issues, it feels like you had so much *fun* writing this thing that we get pulled right along. You obviously know and love your fandoms, too, since the SatAM cast was perfectly in-character right down to the stupid catchphrases and silly accents (note: I love them for both of those). I know you quoted them for a couple of those, but I could hear their actors even on the original lines. That's also why I feel like I've been educated in DBZ; you're so confident in the fandom I do know that I assume you know what you're talking about in the one I don't. I can only wait to see how well Lylat Tails turns out (speaking of which, the fact that you came up with a different "Tails" title for every chapter is nothing short of amazing, especially to someone who just leaves them as numbers and goes along).
Mechanically, though, there are some errors. There's something interesting about them, though, and that's that they rarely distract or detract from the story. I'm not entirely certain why that works, but I could enjoy the work with no problems despite cataloging errors in the back of my head. Things to look for - you've got some odd comma placement that alternates between excessive ("Aunt Sally, Bunny, Rotor and of course his big brother[,] Sonic[,] were always going out, facing down Robotnik and his robotic goons, risking themselves to protect everyone.") and insufficient ("I was just saying[,] doctor, how your brilliance overwhelms me like a typhoon!"). You've also got an excessive amount of ellipses, to the point where their effectiveness is neutered (I've given the same advice to Pyre-Vulpimorph about his exclamation points and interrobangs, and I've been called out for the same thing in the past myself). Rather than eliminating these, though, you might try for a little variety. See where you can use semicolons and em-dashes to break up the flow. It leads to a different mental voice and underscores things in a new way, which can sometimes disrupt the flow of a story but normally makes it easier and more interesting to read.
Mechanics are about it for my concerns with this story. I mean, of course there are places (like the training montage) where I'd have written it differently, but I'm not *writing* it and it's not even close to a problem (speaking of training sequences, I wonder how Pyre's going to handle Tails's Jedi training when he finally gets there). But as for your storytelling, it's fast-paced, fun, and interesting, with strong and distinct characters that get to evolve beyond where they started without losing sight of who they were and are, and that's something all too few authors on this site can manage. I'll definitely be following along as you keep the story going, and I've got a reread scheduled for sometime soon.
| Chrome Prower chapter 31 . 9/21/2013
Awesome story can't wait to read the next book when you write it
| Neutral Zone chapter 31 . 8/10/2013
Short break?! It's been almost a year! I just read through beginning to end, and I want to see more! Gah! The "Complete" status gave me false hope! Now I'm going to go mope in a corner...
| Matthew069 chapter 1 . 8/3/2013
This was a very unusual beginning to a very good story i saw a few errors not much so i'd say nice job but this story feels good it had given me a great interest and might be my second greatest challenge to read because of the chapters but over all you seem to be a very superb writer and i must say to you that you must keep up the work
| Veedramon chapter 31 . 7/2/2013
Well, here it goes...
| Veedramon chapter 30 . 7/2/2013
| Veedramon chapter 29 . 7/2/2013
Well, Tails is now even smarter...
| Veedramon chapter 28 . 7/2/2013
So, I wonder how long it will take for tails to fix that plane...
| Veedramon chapter 27 . 7/2/2013
Well, hopefully now Tails will get back home... or not...
| Veedramon chapter 26 . 7/2/2013
So Tails is a digger... what will Knuckles say?
| Veedramon chapter 25 . 7/2/2013
Well, the war is aboout to end, and it seems Tails side will win, but at what cost?
| Veedramon chapter 24 . 7/2/2013
Well, sensu beans cant' grow limbs back, but is your fic, so whatever strikes you fancy...