|Reviews for Another Detective|
| littlesse chapter 28 . 5/9
It's been just over two years since you last updated... if I told you it's my birthday today, will you update this fic? XD if the answer is no, then I was joking, if it's yes, then I'm serious .
Well, it's certainly not the first story to have Light as a detective racing against L to catch Kira. Neither is Light's possession of the Shinigami Eyes, but it's definitely the first I've seen to combine both ideas. Which is interesting because it sorta implies that Light became Smile because he could see people's name and death times, except you didn't really expand on that. The psychological impact of having the Eyes, I mean. You just said that it made Light felt even more at odds with other people, with him already being a genius and all that. And which is why B and him managed to bond with each other.
I like Smile and B's personalities. In the earlier chapters while L and Smile were still texting each other messages, there were some innuendos. But there was no hint of Light being attracted to L physically at all in the later chapters, which kinda confused me. The character development overall is quite shaky and inconsistent. And I found it quite annoying how L, supposedly the greatest detective in the world, couldn't figure out that Light was acting the way he was because he (and his family) were threatened even after Soichiro died.
I can't say much and I hope that you won't be offended by this, but some of your sentences' wordings are awkward. I also notice that you tend to write what should be you're as your and I don't want to sound like a grammar Nazi, but it gets distracting sometimes.
Also, I don't get why Light couldn't see Sayu's name and death time anymore. I get that he needs to believe that Sayu is dead, but you didn't provide any plausible explanation for it. If Sayu was still alive, he should still be able to see her name and death time.
I find it pretty strange too that Light didn't continue to keep tabs on Sayu and Sachiko's time of death, considering the fact that he pretended to be Kira for them to survive. It's just weird to have someone of his caliber to completely focus on only L's wellbeing and forget the whole reason why he was in the HQ in the first place. He could've kept a photo of them with him at all times and check on them constantly.
I like the moments of revelation in this fic, but I can't help but feel that the drama in some scenes feel forced. For example, Light coming out as Smile and "Kira" to L. The card was a nice touch; the reference to their previous conversation helped him prove his identity to L, but the "I am Kira" bit was unnecessary, in my opinion, as Light could have just explained it directly to L because that's what he ended up doing anyway. I can't pinpoint exactly why but the mood in Light and Matt's meeting feels kinda forced, too.
Also, I think you made Misa too dumb. She makes stupid choices, but she could plan properly sometimes during canon. I also think that Light shouldn't have forgiven her that quickly. She is still a mass murderess despite having turned over a new leaf, so I think you should have given it a few days before he starts trusting her. Otherwise it makes Light seem to trusting or as if he's simply using her as a pawn.
Sayu killing Mikami was pretty stupid of her, really. She knows that he's Kira, so she should've realised that if he just dropped dead from a heart attack then there's definitely another Kira roaming around. If she'd left him alive, they'd at least focus on him for a while longer. And the transition of her old self to being Kira wasn't very convincing. She just went from being suicidal to… bloodthirsty within minutes. And she should've made the girl give her the tickets in the airport at a toilet. There are cameras in the airport, so people investigating Kiyomi's friend should suspect Sayu sooner or later. And I don't get how she arrived in USA instead of England. Didn't she check the tickets first before boarding on the flight?
But really, I like your idea. It's one of a kind, and the humour is quite refreshing. Now if only you'd update...
| jyotimeena10 chapter 21 . 3/2
your B is damn cute:-)
| ryubin chapter 28 . 2/24
author, you really are cruel to us :'D
I just hope you haven't stopped here yet, I'll be patiently waiting
| isa.gray chapter 28 . 11/18/2014
waiting for the next chapter, please tell me you are working on it
| Guest chapter 19 . 10/20/2014
When Misa touched the paper, she should've remembered everything. It's not nice to lie to her, Rem!
| Anistasia D Flight1962 chapter 27 . 8/31/2014
This is the second time I have read this story and I love it so much can't wate for the next chapter
| Crazy reviewer chapter 28 . 7/14/2014
Goodness gracious! What a piece! I love it when raito is like this...and the alias 'Smile' is damn perfect for him... wow...kindly do me a favour and update fast...please...
| Listener Of The Whispers chapter 28 . 7/13/2014
| Guest chapter 1 . 5/1/2014
Please, Please PLEASE continue with this fanfic!
| machi-pan chapter 28 . 3/10/2014
Why did you stopppppppp?! ;_; is there any chance you're going to continue? This had me hooked since the first chapter. It's truly brilliant, thanks for writing it! I really, REALLY REALLYREALLYREALLY hope for an update ;_; you're incredible.
| Rafa chapter 28 . 2/28/2014
.you... Such a huge time difference made me believe that u are gonna discontinue this story... I am so hurt... You are terrible... If this was supposed to happen,then why did u start writing it in the first place anyways? WHY? (sobs..)
| Reader-anonymous-writer chapter 28 . 12/30/2013
Smile! I remember a bit about you, and strawberry jam.
I will keep fighting, I will keep fighting... I hope Shinigami hasn't told Beyond that the human has to kill, and continue killing, in order to have ownership of the Death Note, in order to have his own memories. I hope Beyond has found a loophole...
Good day, good night, and good luck. I don't remember much, but I enjoy Beyond's company... when he is not killing people.
| tsuna misaki chapter 28 . 9/17/2013
i love this fic this is my 6th time reading it please im begging you continue
| PurpleSong chapter 28 . 7/16/2013
Please PLEASE update!
| PurpleSong chapter 1 . 7/15/2013
Danish! When I read that they said a couple of sentence in Danish I was like 'HELL YEAH! For the first time! I'm never gonna forget this moment' QAQ!