|Reviews for The Hunt|
| SHIPWRECK-5897 chapter 1 . 7/21
Wow... This was dark. 10/10!
| Yoholic chapter 1 . 12/3/2011
An excellent use of suspense and visual imagery
| Master of the Boot chapter 1 . 3/18/2011
Man, this is awesome :D I love this one.
You've really done Vader a credit and a service with this story. He's terrifying in this. In a way he reminds me of an evil Version of Batman . . . he's not just defying the odds, he's owning the odds.
and good way to work in the limitations of his mechanical suit.
My favorite part was where a smouldering vader walked right through the flames and the fire was like serpents. Damn, that's just stone cold. And I really loved when he punched through the grill.
Awesome stuff man,
Master of teh Boot
| a vocable menagerie chapter 1 . 7/16/2010
General plotline was great, just a few comments:
some wording is a little awkward and disrupts the fluidity of the narration. ex: "...chilling the blood on his veins before the woman once again yanked him down the hall, her crushing grip once again firm as she pulled him along." the sentence would have ended on a better note if you took out the 2nd "once again"
"they marched up the stairs" directly contrasts what had been made so eminent in the first lines, the fact they were running. A stronger verb may have sufficed.
When you said your main character "wheezed" when he tripped, it paralleled vader's commented breathing in the paragraph above. There needs to be a distinct difference between even that minor detail.
you seem, like many authors, to have a bit of a comma complex. More variation in sentence styling will not only make the wording more fluid, but can also emit a more powerful message. And I feel like a hypocrite since this comment was filled with commas... :P
In general there is a good use of descriptive words to get the point across. But it could be taken to the next level if the terms felt mroe real instead of the stock, boring adjectives. ex: "sasha yelled, brown hair sticking to her forehead due to a mixture of gime and sweat..." why not mention that specific smudge of dirt on her nose? a recently vacated cobweb in her hair? the way a layer of dust dulled what had once been an auburn glow?, etc.
lightsabers are more powerful than the word "glow" conveys. a little description there would be nice. the blade itself would provide a sense of foreboding.
I hope this doesn'tseem harsh at all! I truly did enjoy the story, all these comments were just (in my opinion anyways) what could heighten your style as a writer.
| Renohan chapter 1 . 12/11/2009
I enjoyed that. You truly portrayed Vader's mercilessness in this fic.
| Kael Hyun chapter 1 . 9/29/2009
If The force Unleashed is any clue he used more brute strangth when he was suite Vader then when he wasnt
| Parselmaster chapter 1 . 9/7/2009
Truly an excellent take on Vader. The fact that this wasn't from his point of view offered a unique perspective that you usually won't find.
| endofsomething chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
Here we go again... Another ridiculously good story from you :D Can't wait to see the next update.
| iamnuff chapter 1 . 9/6/2009
hm new story... very nice
summary is a litte short,
sounds like a slasher film