|Reviews for The Dream of Suzumiya Haruhi|
| An Irate Critic chapter 66 . 4/29/2016
Well, this certainly was an ambitious fanfic, and I commend you for that. I remember reading this when I was younger, before I got into literature and became a critic for writing, so it's a real treat to come back to this and re-read it all over again. Of course, with that in mind, I'm not going to be gushing over it like I used to in my anonymous reviews from back then.
First, I'll start with the good. There was obviously some love and devotion put into the story. You clearly had this whole thing planned out for quite a while, and it came a long way over the three years you wrote it. It's a bit impressive, to say the least. I easily found myself getting drawn into the story, always eager to see what happened next, wondering just where it would go and what would happen to bring about the opening scene found in the first chapter.
With that being said, the long philosophical talks tended to get old fast, and could turn off potential readers. Most of the time, I just scrolled past them and didn't miss much. Some I sat through, but they didn't seem too relevant to the plot itself. The plot also quickly became harder to follow, with all the twists you threw at us. I'm still unsure of where the story's at right now, despite having read through it. Some characters didn't seem all that important, despite the reader being led to believe they were.
Some moments of characters acting off were also prevalent, and Kyon himself seems just a bit TOO dumb. Remember, this is a young man who's an unreliable narrator in the books, he's constantly hinted at being highly intelligent, and just plays dumb for the sake of laziness. Of course, that could also be the case here, but I digress.
Still, I did enjoy reading this again. At best, it's definitely an interesting experience, one that every beginner writer should sit through at least once.
| Moberemk chapter 66 . 7/30/2014
You ever end up thinking to yourself "Man that one monster Haruhi fanfic from way back when? The one that's roughly as long as the first four Harry Potter books put together? I should totally read that again, it was great." Because I did, and then I did, and I remembered all the awesome things about this story I really liked. Then I got sad that this thing never really got the proper ending it deserved.
But you know what, for auld lang syne let's do up a proper overall review now that I've gone through the whole of this beast right recently for whatever mad reason, following my standard format of hitting the Good (things I liked), the Bad (things I didn't like) and the Ugly (grammar/style/language complaints/general mixed nitpicks).
- This story is what people might call "ambitious." Or maybe "epic." Or maybe just "insane." I personally lean towards the former descriptor-the scope you aim to tackle is almost absurdly grand in scope, touching on every corner of the Haruhi universe while also adding to it in ways that somehow make it even bigger. The ability to imply a bigger world than what we're actually shown is an incredibly useful skill in worldbuilding and I highly respect that.
- Foreshadowing tends to be really well done. Nothing really comes from out of the blue in this tale, an aspect that becomes particularly evident when reading it as one solid volume. Small details and sweeping themes both manage to show up consistently, which makes for a nice sense of continuity.
- The writing itself manages to stay (for the most part) tonally and stylistically similar to the original novels. Darker, sure, but it definitely reads a lot like original Kyon's narration, and that's an impressive feat.
- I know earlier I stressed how epic in scope the story is, but if there's one thing that keeps that scale from collapsing upon itself it's easy: the characters. The character interactions really lay at the heart of everything, which is how it should be. These interactions manage to both create and contextualize the larger conflicts which they cause (and are caused by) and that grounding effect helps to always center the story back on Kyon and Haruhi.
- Character development is also something which is incredibly evident in this piece, with the characters (almost) all showing changes as the tale goes on. The way that they change in ways both small and large stands in stark contrast with the franchise; much though I love the original works, the characters will likely never be allowed to grow as much as they have here.
- I know I've said this to you before but...dude. Kyoko. You made me actually like, and pity, her where before I barely remembered her name. That's a feat and a half.
- Kyon's kind of a dunce. By that I mean that often in the first two arcs he was fairly often reduced to being a passive and ignorant viewpoint character who seemed to be present primarily to act as a sounding board for another character, particularly Koizumi and Sasaki. Which leads to my real gripe which is that oftentimes during the longer discussions-or rather, monologues-the characters would often be made to present an argument well-suited to a philosophy paper but often tangential or even unrelated to the core of the plot, something which really throws the pacing of the tale off. This is a major problem in the first and second arcs, although in the third arc it's less noticeable because these discussions are actual discussion-Koizumi and Sasaki's interactions are a great example of how to do this type of thing right in that making it an actual debate inherently makes it more interesting. You've got a good sense for character interactions, and a lot of the ideas you present ARE interesting (to me at least) so leverage those strengths!
- Get an editor. That's a blunt statement, but I'm willing to bet money that your writing is done in a stream-of-consciousness manner and it shows. This is true on both a micro- and macro- level-often the pacing gets dragged down at a scene level and at a plot level in ways that a few strategic cuts (painful though killing your babies can be) could definitely improve. The time-travel discussion from the first arc is a very good example of something which could be likely be cut from the story, interesting though it is. Additionally a second pair of eyes is valuable for other reasons (see "THE UGLY")
- This is again more a weakness of the first and second acts than the third, and I've made this argument before but: remember you're working in a serialized, segmented format. Chapters that end abruptly feel disjointed and when a reader's waited a week/a month/a year for it to come out then it makes following the story more challenging.
- There are a lot of moments where I can see where two versions of a sentence coexisted, where an extra word hints at an alternate way you were thinking of writing something but then changed your mind. This is something which can easily be overlooked in the rush to publish something but it's those little details that can really stand out when you miss them in editing.
- You're/Your, It's/its, then/than...You do a good job of getting these right most of the time, but every now and then you slip up. That's a common mistake, but it really bugs me knowing that you DO know the difference and just occasionally slip up.
- I love how literate this story is, I really do-I'm well-read enough that it's rare for a work of fiction (let alone fanfic) to make me actually have to look up a reference to understand it, and I love how the characters make me feel like an idiot at times. But sometimes you go into a needless amount of detail when a simple allusion would be better. This sort of ties back to the editing comment from earlier, but sometimes alluding to something with a wink and a nudge and a title drop is a stronger way of including it without also distracting from the characters and the plot.
Overall: I really, really do love this story and have fond memories of it which rank up there with reading some of my favorite novels of all time, and even if it's perpetually unfinished (and I'll be sad if it is-while I think I have an idea of where you were going overall, it's just not the same) I'll still consider it one of my favorites.
| Kamazamiko chapter 35 . 11/28/2013
I'm about to drop this story.
You have the right mind, but you complicated matters too much.
Dreams, then new world, then dream. Wtf -_-
| Guest chapter 66 . 8/11/2013
I remember reading this story years ago and falling in love with it, it's probably the most accurate portrayal of all the TMOHS characters in the fanfic world, especially with the philosophical ramblings and insights given by Itsuki which most people just leave out. I'd completely forgotten about it though, and coming across it again I had to read the whole thing from the beginning, becoming just as addicted and entranced with the world you depicted as I had the last time. I can understand if new readers may be put off from this, with 66 chapters this thing's a true monster! But I also think this is one story every Haruhi fan would need to read. I don't know if you're still writing, or even alive, but I hope some day you come back to this. You've put so much into this it'd be pretty sad to leave it as is.
| AB fan chapter 66 . 4/25/2013
Please update soon!
I want to know what happen next.
| Guest chapter 66 . 3/15/2013
Frankly, you're a monster, I'm worn out to read, but I liked it)
| Guest chapter 63 . 3/6/2013
This is the best Haruhi story on this site. The story itself is kind of hard to follow, I'm never too sure who the antagonist is and I have no idea where the story will end up but your characterisation is in a league of its own. All the dialogue seems so natural yet superbly detailed and all the characters, while having firm roots in canon, have really progressed and changed throughout the story. If you're still writing I would love to see a conclusion to this or even just another chapter.
| Metroidvania chapter 66 . 9/5/2012
This is by far one of the most ambitious fics I think I've ever read, and besides that, beyond the occasional philosophical pithole, one that manages to retain coherency and a sense of uniqueness with a simultaneous faithfulness to canon.
I can only assume Kyon's finally getting into the swing of things, and I like all the aspersions about free will versus being an extension of Haruhi that he's encountered. It's magnificent, yet grounded.
I do think Kyon's a bit too much involved with repairing the bridges with Kyoko, but it's been a while since I've read the books, and obviously your Kyon has differed somewhat after all this time.
In any case, keep up the excellent work, I hope to see an update soon.
| theredspirit chapter 66 . 8/29/2012
This story out of all the Haruhi fanfics that i have read so far is amazing. Haruhi was completely in character through the story and all the characters go through development as the story progresses. Both Sasaki's and Koizumi's talks about philosophy are really interesting and detailed. The other thing that i liked about the story was that in both Act I and Act II the the conflicts between the various factions interested in Haruhi was escalated and ultimately resolved but also the foreshadowing of a new enemy in the end of Act II and how that threat helped Haruhi and Kyon get close to each other. please update this story its very interesting and well written!
| SJCrew chapter 66 . 8/19/2012
Hey, I got your response to my review in the email a while ago. Don't cry about criticism, it makes you look bad.
The storyline is good so far, but I don't know where you're trying to go with this. Don't leave us hanging!
| Sweet BRS chapter 66 . 7/22/2012
Four words: AWESOME, SO PLEASE UPDATE!
| Guest chapter 66 . 7/6/2012
OMG! This has to be one of the best Haruhi fics ever!
Please update really soon!
| Tanmay Sabnis chapter 66 . 6/18/2012
PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE I AM REALLY A VERY BIG FAN THIS STORY OF YOUR'S IT'S BEEN 3 MONTHS ALREADY SINCE YOUR LAST UPDATE OF CHAPTER 66. I REALLY WANT TO READ THIS THIRD ACT OF THIS GREAT!GREAT! STORY . I REALLY THIS IS EVEN BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL 10 AND 11 VOLUMES OF HS. PLEASE DON'T STOP AND KEEP WRITING THIS AWESOME STORY. PLEASE PLEASE UPDATE.
| Miss Storyholic chapter 66 . 5/12/2012
This is a great story!
Keep it up!
| ralf07 chapter 4 . 4/19/2012
My brain hurt reading this. Not because it was bad, but because it was to complex for me to understand what is it you write about.
Nevertheless it was good.