|Reviews for Buried in Obscurity|
| RulerOfCats chapter 1 . 5/14
Hi, I really wanted to reply because you took your time to read and comment on my story, but for some reason it won't let me answer. You stated that my character turned into a Mary Sue the moment Orochimaru was connected to her.
I respect that you think that. I really do. Sadly, I do disagree mainly because I find Mary Sue such a fine line that borders a sexist line. So many writers jump around making their characters strong and independent with purpose because they are afraid of readers who question the Mary Sue-ness of it all. Kishimoto has never been good at depicting a female character who was strong to match the guys in Naruto, and as a girl looking for a role model, I have absolutely no respect for any of the females in his series because one way or another, their lives revolve around a guy (Sakura - obsessed with Sasuke, Hinata - obsessed with Naruto, Tsunade - dream was to make sure her brother and boyfriend live their dream, Kushina - once wanted to be Hokage, abandoned those dreams when husband became Hokage) while the guys in Naruto get big dreams that involve bettering themselves and not the man in their lives.
In that respect, of course she was going to be connected with Orochimaru. The story was called "Chasing Smoke" because her Kekkei Genkai is from the anime episode that introduced the Iburi (smoke clan) that was entirely experimented on by Orochimaru.
I'm not gonna cut him out based on fear of a Mary Sue because without him there would be no plot and no story. I accept your criticism, but to me, it didn't feel constructive. Maybe if you had said that I should have changed the way he approached her, but you insulted the way he was in the story at all.
I admit, it did hurt my feelings a bit because after thirteen chapters you only had a small insult to share to me, but I respect your opinion (I just wish your review was constructive cause there was no way I could work with what you told me)
Enough about my story, I would like to actually review yours.
For the most part, there was a lot of attention to detail which I liked. You approached the topic well enough, and I enjoyed Naruto's monologue at the end (is it called a monologue, I'm not to sure. My English is rubbish sometimes)
The characterization for the most part was also well done, and Sakura and Kabuto's conversation was humorous enough.
The only fault I found was that there wasn't much direction in where the story was going. Maybe it was the way you ended it, but there was no hook to keep me reading and wanting another chapter. Perhaps it because I'm not so sure about the plot, but maybe this is something a better summary of the story would do well.
I am not a big fan of his genre of Naruto stories, so that would be the only reason I wouldn't be coming back for another chapter. It has nothing to do with your actual writing, because you are a decent writer. All the faults could easily be fixed with updates and a better (less vague) summary.
Good luck with your story, I do think it could be something pretty amazing. _
| DarkCrimsonBlood chapter 1 . 8/16/2015
I was reading through your reviews and I felt strangely happy that they were almost all insulting you. You reap what you sow, huh?
And oh, you're in your fifties? Dear god get your life together! It's not even sad anymore, it's just hilarious!
You gave me a good laugh today.
| The Dark Crimson Blood chapter 1 . 8/16/2015
Yo. You left a rude review on one of my older stories 'The Awkward Moment When' I would've appreicated constructive criticism without childish swearing and anger, but apparently that's too hard for you.
I found out you disabled your private messaging as well, to avoid getting messags back from the fanfic's you rage on. So you can deal out anger but you can't have anyone talk back to you? That's actually kind of funny. You signed up all the way back in 2007, how old are you and why hasn't your mind developed along with the rest of you? (Why are you still on fanfiction anyway? Grow up.)
Anyway, this is the only way I could reply to you and when I saw you had one story with one chapter, I thought that you must be a really good writer. Oh,I was wrong! Just about every review here is about you writing a rude review on a bunch of different fanfiction stories! The irony! It's laughable, I can't even take your review seriously anymore.
Back to the original concept, my story 'The Awkward Moment When' was published when? (Published: Nov 9, 2012) I was twelve! I didn't know a single thing about writing a story and yet my crappy story got hundreds of positive reviews whereas yours has... well... look for yourself.
Here are some things you can do to help sustain the worthless thing you call a life with.
1. Grow up.
2. Get off . Aren't you too old?
3. Get a life. Really. If you're spending so much time on fanfiction, I can't help but wonder what kind of horrid life you have.
I just realized there are a bunch of errors in your story; its not really interesting either. Why do you use so many unnecessary coma's? At one point, you obviously ran out of content and started trying to elongate what you already had.
Don't turn off private messaging just because you're afraid of getting a reply to your rude reviews.
If you can't take the hate, don't dish it idiotically.
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/6/2015
It's interesting that you are despised by your readers. You reap what you sow.
| Nintendgains chapter 1 . 7/11/2015
Well, after reading all these reviews in your story, I feel much better about the review you left me. Almost as if justice has been served. Clearly you are known for being a prick, and seeing this many people putting you in your place makes me feel all warm and cozy inside. To bad they had to come here to tell you. Sissy.
| gendrogen chapter 1 . 6/3/2015
It was interesting; though, there was a lot of telling instead of showing. Also there were places where a simple "she said," would have worked instead of being overly-descriptive. Regardless, I still liked it. Just don't get lazy with updates; good-luck!
| master1527 chapter 1 . 3/13/2015
i have read your reviews i have read this story and i must thank flamer for with the reviews given by such good authors i can at last open another goggle chrome window with 30 tabs filled with fan fiction for that i thank you otherwise i do not believe i would have such a diverse author group for other people reading this review i recommend reading his reviews find an author with a good name and complaining about an interesting thing in their story that got flamed on by this pitiable author and on the topic on your story it has a few interesting ideas but you seem to need to add more life more soul to it to me it is so far bland the reason why im saying this is because while your grammar is good it is as if their is no drive no idea to achieved through the writing and i do apologize if you believe this to be flame seeyaa an i probably wont come back.
| Griffygnus chapter 1 . 1/4/2015
shame you didn't continue :)
| Purlinka chapter 1 . 10/7/2014
I sent you a PM, which was clearly ignored. But then I found your story and its reviews . . .
At first I was angry at your reviews, but now I just think your reviews were just plain sad and pathetic. You took the time and energy to read almost 55,000 words of my story just to insult it. Why keep reading a story if you hate it so much? The only answer, to me at least, is that you enjoy this kind of thing. Which can only mean that you are either hateful or extremely bored. Either way, you probably don't have much meaning to your life, so you insist on posting hateful reviews on others' stories.
Thank you for adding three reviews to my review count. Please, keep reviewing! With your help, I could easily have fifty more reviews! Hope to hear from you soon ;)
| shadowhedgehog chapter 1 . 6/14/2014
Well, judging from your reviews you bitch about people's writing and have your PM'S turned off.
You sir/ma'am are an undeniable pussy. Lol if you're gonna be a whiny bitch and complain all the damn time have the balls to leave your PM on, then maybe these people would have at least a shred of respect for you.
But no, instead you decide to be a cop-out wuss ass about it. Just pitiful. What's worse is you bitch about other people's writing, meanwhile yours sucks donkey ass. I couldn't even finish this shit it was so boring, I stopped after a few paragraphs. Made me wanna shoot myself in the head lol.
Grow some testicles, and learn what it truely means to write while you're at it. Only reason why you have all these reviews is because you're being balless, and here's another one you can gaze at. All mighty wuss ass.
Peace out, hoe ;)
| Tricia1985 chapter 1 . 6/10/2014
Angst isn't necessarily a bad thing, and it's fairly effective in several passages in your fic. However, there are a few places where it edged into "purple" territory and the narrative flow ended up getting bogged down.
By and large, I thought it was pretty good.
| VitaminH2O-Energy chapter 1 . 6/8/2014
Ok, whew so here I go. Since you won't accept any private messages I will take it to a public review. You recently took the time to review each chapter of my story the contract (which I really appreciate) and point out all it's flaws. First off, it's called fanfiction for a reason meaning I can manipulate the story in any fictional aspect I want whether it is possible or not that's what makes it fiction. FYI, I stay in the united states and I know what a window looks like, who doesn't? Anyway, I can really care less if you continue to read my story or not because you're one person compared to the thousands of people I get that view my story each time I update it. Can I really be mad that you don't like it? No, because you're entitled to your own opinion. But I will say this not to be a bitch but simply because it's true...when your story reaches 200 views or when you have thousands of views or nearly 200 subscribers that have you on story alert, author alert, or favorite author then you can tell me the bone you have to pick with me. I do this for pure entertainment and I don't intend on my writing being perfect. But if there's one thing your reviews have to tell me it's this: you're either jealous or have no time on your hands. So, I hope you have a lovely time continuing your job as a "fanfiction reviewer" (such a promising job that was appointed to you) and I wish you and your story all the best.
| Logan Locke chapter 1 . 6/8/2014
Gutless does not even begin to describe you. Honestly, I think you are an embarassment to this site in every way. Not only are you too much of wuss to open PM box to actually defend your views, you have the arrogance to constantly bash and deride other writers stories in truly unacceptable ways. Hell, your own story is unimpressive. It only has this many reviews because no one can tell you any other way!
You are no writer. You are a sad troll and a bully who makes people like me look bad as reviewers! And hopefully your ass gets kicked off this site. Harsh, yes. But sadly I wish it. Fare thee well cretin! I don't wish you the best.
| LadyJadyeHatake chapter 1 . 5/29/2014
Seems pretty good so far.
I saw one of your reviews on a story, and well, you might want to learn some manners. I know a lot of people have been reviewing on your story just to communicate with you and have been saying some not-so-nice things, so you probably don't want anymore people flaming you, but they have a point. Just saying. No hard feelings, kay?
On a happier note, your story seems okay so far, however, don't get TOO descriptive or else people would get bored.
| mr grimjaw chapter 1 . 5/23/2014
you sir are a chicken shit coward who whould not know a good story if it bit you in the ass and you need to reactive you pm so we can have a privet chat not a public one the enslaved kunoichis is a great fic got more reviews then you