Reviews for Angel's Story
Raberba girl chapter 26 . 1/13/2015
Ack, I never finished reviewing this?! I'm so sorry! I'm gonna try to remedy that now.

Chapter 21:

Heh, Iggy, ever the one most interested in girls...

Chapter 22:

I like the parody of a love confession scene, since she ends up asking to get turned into a robot instead. (And then she kisses him anyway. XD)

Chapter 23:

It reminds me of whenever I hang out with bridge players, or other people who can talk together enthusiastically about their hobbies, and sound to outsiders like me as if they're speaking a different language. :p

Chapter 24:

Aw, it's nice to see that Iggy might finally get a girlfriend. I'm sure he'll like that.

Chapter 25:

...Were Iggy & Gazzy car thieves or something...?

The Batman joke was funny. XD

Chapter 26:

It's good to know that they're getting closer and closer to rescuing Frannie! :)
Raberba girl chapter 20 . 11/9/2013
Chapter 17:

It's pretty interesting that a girl who's so interested in robotics would end up in an accident where she'd need a prosthetic. She kind of reminds me of Winry in FMA. XD

I like weird characters like this, who love or are fascinated by things that other people would usually have a more adverse or indifferent reaction to.

Chapter 18:

Aw, I'm so glad Iggy got his sight back, even if he's still mostly colorblind. :) Beats being totally blind!

I know it would kind of defeat the whole purpose of the story, but I have a rather hard time imagining Max being despondent over her daughter's kidnapping, rather than braving hell and high water to get her back...

Heh, Iggy, I don't blame you for being suspicious! The Flock hasn't always had the best of luck when it comes to allies.

Chapter 19:

Wow, Fang still has the same laptop? XD

Chapter 20:

Aw, he gave her a chocolate bar. :) Pretty nice for a guard in the villains' lair!
Raberba girl chapter 16 . 9/21/2013
Chapter 11:

Wow, Thud's powers are pretty creepy... Interesting that he would deliberately explain them to Angel, though.

Chapter 12:

Lol, Max WOULD come back from the dead just to kick the butts of whoever kidnapped her kid. XD

One of the things that scares me the most about the Max Ride universe is how awful the scientists are, the way they don't see people as human beings. X(

Heh, I bet that Frannie really can call out to Angel telepathically.

Chapter 13:

Heh, Angel and her puppy eyes...

Chapter 14:

I suppose he could have escaped, or pulled some sort of legal stunt to get out of jail early.

Whoo, it'll be good to see the Flock working together again!

Chapter 15:

Wow, he really does hire actual models in order to turn into his Monsters of the Day! Poor girls... It's a really interesting idea, though.

His personal/love life is interesting, too, especially since he apparently has more sex-related morals than a lot of heroes in our fiction nowadays. *sweatdrop*

Chapter 16:

I like the reference to how Angel needs to keep her body fueled, even when it's inconvenient to stop for lunch; and it amused me about Iggy & Gazzy using their pay phone hacking skills just to prank call.

(Sorry about the mass review, it's just easier for me to do it this way when the chapters are short.)
Raberba girl chapter 10 . 9/2/2013
Makes me laugh that they had to sedate her just because she wouldn't stop annoying them. XD
Raberba girl chapter 9 . 9/2/2013
Man, mind-reading can sure come in handy...

Lol, it's a real cat-girl! XD
Raberba girl chapter 8 . 9/2/2013
It's cool that they and Angel have something in common. I bet it feels bizarre for Angel to be allied with someone who looks like an Eraser, but I like that you used that idea in this story!
Raberba girl chapter 7 . 7/5/2013
It amused me that they were discussing nicknames for the new enemies. Patterson does seem to lean toward the Monster Of The Day trope a bit.

W00t, I was curious about Mysterious Guy, too!
Raberba girl chapter 6 . 6/29/2013
"not to mention all their "perfect" experiments that always had some fatal flaw that lead to their undoing." Itex did have a bad habit of making experiments like that, didn't they. XD I suppose the Flock and Total would be the only exceptions, depending on how you define "flaw."

I like this guy's tendency to take his time and fix all the problems with a project rather than dismissing it and rushing on to the next one. I also like the Cyber-model's curiosity, it's kind of cute. Nice to see human feelings from creatures you wouldn't expect it from.
Raberba girl chapter 5 . 6/29/2013
Uh-oh, looks like she's been captured...! :ohnoes:

"but I couldn't put my wing on it." Lol, that is a clever spin on the expression. XD

Ohhhh, interesting. So these are allies, then? That would certainly be a welcome change! In any case, being a mind-reader sure is helpful in situations like this...
Raberba girl chapter 4 . 6/21/2013
I feel so bad for Max and Fang...

It's really sweet that Angel gave her treasured Celeste to Frannie. Also makes sense that Angel can really identify with poor Frannie right now, having been in the same situation before.
Raberba girl chapter 3 . 6/21/2013
And then she's normal and friendly again. XD

Holy cow, here we go again! Guess it's inevitable that the Flock's destined to have a very exciting life. Hope Frannie comes out of it okay... I bet it's also disconcerting for Angel that her mind powers don't work on these new enemies, though it's a good thing she's been trained in physical combat, too.
Raberba girl chapter 2 . 6/21/2013
Heh, Angel's kind of creeping me out now...
Raberba girl chapter 1 . 6/12/2013
I feel bad for not talking to you in so long, so I'll review at least the first chapter of this. :D

Getting to see Angel as a teenager will be quite interesting! Already, the narration reminds me of Max's in the novels; that's cool!

I'm sure those poor kids _are_ enjoying their break from saving the world... Writers and video game makers and stuff don't go easy on their heroes, do they. (Speaking of which, THEY FINALLY STARTED WORK ON KH3. 8D 8D 8D)

Yay, Gazzy & Iggy got to stay together! I bet each one would miss his pranking buddy if they had to be separated. Heh, Nudge's career sounds like she managed to achieve her dreams; I'm happy for her. I really like Total's fate, too! Seems to have done quite well for himself, and the canine-safe chocolate was a nice touch!

Blech, I hate Jeb...he did enough horrible things that I can't forgive him for the not-horrible stuff. Though it's cool to see Max & Fang married, and I like that their daughter's plight is the basis for your plot! Angel gets her turn to play the hero. :)

Frannie...that was the lady in the Max Ride predecessor books, right?

LOL, Fang and redheads... XD XD Also quite interesting that the wings seem to be a genetic trait.

"I mean, I knew what they were thinking, (because I have telepathy), but it's another thing entirely to genuinely feel the emotions for yourself." I think that's a very good point, and I like that there's some value set on age/maturity. No matter how brilliant or extraordinary a kid is, there's just some things you can't experience without growing up.

Hee, Pixie, I really like that nickname!

Daddy Fang is adorable. XD X3

Do they really still live with Max's parents even though they're married with a kid? It's not unheard of or anything, it just seems a little unusual.

Interesting start here, it's neat to see what the Flock are all up to in the future!
Cloak5 chapter 29 . 1/7/2010
Your missing a chapter
Wrathofbalance2 chapter 10 . 11/26/2009
Ok these next five chapters somewhat disappointed me but still had good qualities.

I like how you moved through the story with these next chapters instead of simply stalling for time like in the first chapter. I also like how you increased the word count for some of these later chapters.

Your main has proven to be a good character for the most part and that is something every story needs. She hasn't proven to be a mary-sue to say the least.

Now, on to some of the bads. Your villain got a stereotypical introduction and that irked me. The other stuff has to be how stereotypical the secondary characters are introduced. Then comes the animal transformations which I hear about; I am not fond of those. However, I am willing to go with it if it's presented well in the later chaps.

Overall, these five have been OK chapters for now but could have used work.

There's my two cents- Wrath.
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