|Reviews for Aftereffects|
| Queen Serenity chapter 1 . 12/17/2013
Interesting. Enjoyed the style of writing in this.
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/6/2012
| WTFWonder chapter 1 . 5/29/2011
Realistic and phantasmagoric at the same time. I love it.
| Lexical Item chapter 1 . 3/25/2011
The writing style of this piece moves in a way that complements the stages of Crane's recovery.
The first paragraph is graceful. To clarify, it notes details dispassionately like you do when you're half-asleep. Here are the facts about the environment. Even what Crane feels are more statements of fact rather than 'feelings' per se. He is too tired for the extra layer of perception and meaning to be included. I use the term graceful because the writing flows in sleek way, free from embellishment. It makes me feel weary just reading it. In the good, affective way that is.
I barely noticed the tense irregularities so I'm going to say it works. Clarity is not a huge issue. There is some ambiguity regarding 'it'. I take 'it' to mean either the home as a living thing or the possibly-an-old-women in a delineated time-frame. In the first case, Crane's ransacking is analogous to killing and I like that as a metaphor. The house becomes lifeless as Crane destroys the subjective meaning of photos and clothes. The second instance is that he finds the women inside in the fourth paragraph after the kill has been mentioned in the third. Maybe you want to clarify that, but you might want to leave it up to the reader. Both approaches have merit in different ways, though personally, I prefer the clarity (maybe I don't give readers enough credit).
Either way, the third and fourth paragraphs have the detail that the first paragraph necessarily lacks. They are an instance of disquieting, ugly and also *subtle* ideas written in nice prose. The contrast of style and content is just wonderful. The best way I can describe it is the poetic-ness found in the ugly/mundane. I hope that's articulate.
Also, the writing is still mirroring Crane's state at this point. It conveys confusion, exertion and then the last single-word sentences illustrate the recovery phase that involves catching one's breath, panting, etc.
Paragraph five gives the sense of working through a routine on auto-pilot through the use of frequent commas, short sentences and pared-down mundane detail. One constructive note, it's important to distinguish between psychologist and psychiatrist. Psychologists aren't doctors and in all honesty I would think Crane would be elitist and have little more than contempt for, sniff, mere psychologists. Though, perhaps he'd need to remember how to be a psychologist before he could remember to be a psychiatrist.
The last couple of paragraphs swing between a sort of childish glee that I suppose fits this notion of 'Scarecrow' and a more reflective, introspective sort of detail. Crane is clearly possessed of his faculties again, if a little off.
The writing in this entire piece has this tendency to just work. There's a sense that each phrase is important in its own right. This piece is either highly polished, or you have great intuition.
I really don't have much to offer in the way of constructive feedback. I got sidetracked by the need to pick things apart. I didn't actually intend to go into so much detail, but this piece lends itself to analysis. One doesn't often see that on this site, but it's a pleasure when one does.
| LoliPear the WaltzQueen chapter 1 . 2/23/2010
This feels like a Welcome home fic. This feels like on of those fics whree they come back to somewhere after a long time and everything just says Welcome Home!
| Twitchylicious chapter 1 . 2/7/2010
That was... creepy. I enjoyed it all the same, but I was definitely gettin' some chills.
| Twinings chapter 1 . 9/20/2009
Ooh, very effective. And, I think, a very accurate portrayal of what this version of the Scarecrow would be.
| AZ-woodbomb chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
I actually had to read it twice to properly understand it, but I still like it. His disheveled state of mind comes through nicely, what with him not remembering who or what exactly he had killed.