Reviews for A Chance At Love
RougeReaper chapter 5 . 1/27
This is great please update soon
jhgiusdhiu chapter 5 . 12/22/2010
KEEP GOING!
Subject 342 chapter 5 . 10/7/2010
Shoot. That was fast. Now I'm scarred for life. Please don't add that; there might be younger audiences reading. Just a suggestion, doesn't mean you should do it!

Well, bye!
Subject 342 chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
Omg. I love those two guys, too! Aren't they awesome with their ninja skills? Hehe... I didn't even read the story yet, and I'm already reviewing. What really caought my eye, though, was Storm Shadow sending his sister to join the Joes.

Seriously, I've watched the movie, too, and I think this is the best one yet [which I didn't read- YET! :P]. This is the only story where Storm Shadow has a sister! I will now read your story! Man, my review must be lame... _' Well, see ya!
JJ-Jefferu chapter 5 . 6/27/2010
awww. wait i didnt think she actually got raped, but she did? :/ i think she should tell snake eyes the truth.
Blairexoxo chapter 5 . 1/18/2010
Wow. That was intense. But whatever, I still loved it! Snake Eyes all the way man!

Storm Shadow sucks. How could he do that to his own sister!

Great story, update soon! :D
Saadhana chapter 5 . 1/15/2010
please continue this story.i love it completly
Slytherin Studios chapter 5 . 12/7/2009
ooh poor falcon, I can't wait to find out if she trusts guys again.
Aphrodite96 chapter 5 . 11/7/2009
i really like this story but i'm didn't like the part she got raped! so sad! but i know you had your reasons can't wait for next chapter please update soon!
sessys girl forever chapter 5 . 11/5/2009
love it
8yume chapter 5 . 11/3/2009
this story is an alsome dramtic rollercoaster. update soon! _
Frankizzle chapter 5 . 11/2/2009
Good chapter, but personally I wouldn't have done the rape scene. It has the potential to turn her into a Mega-Sue. Its also incredibly difficult to write about the effects of rape on the victim or those around her unless you've been raped yourself or you've known someone who has. I'm just saying, you may want to do some research or something before you write the next chapter, because it has the potential to become insensitve/inaccurate and offend some people. Other than that, you wrote the scene quite maturely which is good :D update soon!
Suiseiseki chapter 5 . 11/2/2009
Yay!You have updated!Great as always!

Update soon!

Keep up a good work!
Dragonsdaughter1 chapter 5 . 11/2/2009
Good start.
Asterisk78 chapter 5 . 11/1/2009
Hey! I was excited to see that you'd updated. It had been a little while. This week, I enjoyed your description (I could really visualize your nameless original male character), and I actually didn't see too many grammar/spelling mistakes. Also, if your spellcheck is broken, there's a function on the Document Uploader on the site that is the same as the SpellCheck function in Word, so you can use that if your word is being screwy. (Mine has done it before too. It's just a computer bug, I guess).

I do have a few suggestions. First, I'm not sure why Falcon would be diffusing a bomb. Usually, that's a delicate task that's delegated to a specific explosives expert. Second, it doesn't make a ton of sense that she would go in alone to a job she's not really equipped to do...I would suggest maybe changing her job to something more ninja-oriented.

Second, on the rape...I know that you're using it as a plot device, to add drama to Snake Eyes and Falcon’s relationship, but it is a little cliché and it’s very easy to do wrong. I’m not saying that you’ve necessarily done it wrong, but her reaction does seem a little extreme. I would suggest researching this extensively…I would suggest Wikipedia, as a start. Then, I would maybe look at psychology books on women and adolescent girls, and perhaps visiting the World Health Organization website. All of these resources will help you more accurately portray a rape survivor’s story.

Also, I’m not sure that Storm Shadow would hurt his sister (or allow her to be hurt, for that matter). His extreme loyalty is a defining facet of his personality…so I’m not sure that the genetic poisoning is really his style. I’m also pretty sure that he would kill the rapist…remember, he isn’t an entirely evil character. He’s consumed by his need for revenge against Snake Eyes, but I’m unsure that even his vengeful tendencies would overcome his familial loyalty. It’s something to think about.

Anyway, I enjoyed this week’s chapter, and I hope you’ll consider my suggestions. With any luck, you’ll have more time this next chapter to update things. Keep up the good work! You’re doing awesome :)

Asterisk*
34 | Page 1 .. Last Next »