|Reviews for Purgatory|
| Fanpire109 chapter 3 . 9/4/2010
really great story i hoep u decide to continue it
| L'Ael-Inire chapter 2 . 9/19/2009
Very well matched with the previous chapter; I enjoyed this a lot. There was a lot of suspense, a lot of ways in which you used Cosette's thoughts and emotions to direct our own, as the audience, and it was very-well processed in this way. The only thing I'd find worth noting is an occasional oddness in the dialogue. I don't know how exactly I'd better it myself, but there are a few parts where the words just don't match up with either the characters or the time period-which is odd, as the rest of the internal monologue is fine. Here's just an example:
"Oh, just a few minutes," he says, his eyes glancing away.
"Really? It felt like longer," I say distractedly, already worrying about other things, my mind not dwelling on myself anymore.
He smiles at me. "How would you know? You were unconscious!"
It's places like these, where perhaps the thought came to you so quickly of what should happen or be said, that it was added into the story without enough examination first. I hope that makes sense...
Now for the parts I loved:
"I hear it is ugly and cloudy most of the time, and that it is raining almost always. Papa, in England we couldn't have a garden- or at least not a pretty one, just a dreary garden with soggy soil-" - VERY Cosette-ish. I felt like I was reading directly from the novel.
"He has been shot."/So have I./Or so it seems. - The whole back-and-forth formation of Valjean speaking then Cosette's thoughts that leads up to this is charming. I especially love the way it kind of climaxes in this ironic sort of suspense. Very good. I'm looking forward to more chapters. :)
| L'Ael-Inire chapter 1 . 9/19/2009
It's worth quickly mentioning that you may want to go back and skim through it once or twice, just for the sake of some typos or inconsistencies that can be distracting from the actual work. Stuff like a missing 's' or space between words, or in the first part particularly the sense of when this is going on - present vs past tense - is a little hard to follow. All trite details that don't have anything to do with the story.
Now then, this was fabulous, my dear. I think you got Cosette's personality down very well. The fluttering, bird-like anxiety of the train of thoughts, the contrast between the immense devotion and almost childish reproach; all of it charming and right down with the character, congrats.
"I feel something ghost over my face" - love this.
"These hours have had year stuffed into them...Someone must be lying- today was actually a week." - very Cosette-like
All in all, a superb job.
| LesMisLoony chapter 1 . 9/17/2009
The way you write Cosette is just too cute! I really love the way she was thinking here.
My only criticism is that every once in a while you lapse into a voice that's a little... well, somewhere between cliché and contemporary. Things like "roll over and die" or "up and leave"... does that make sense? I can't imagine Cosette using a phrase like that, so it takes me out of the story. The rest is absolutely great, though! I love that you keep on writing this pairing. And I really love people writing about Cosette and Valjean. They're so sweet.
| AmZ chapter 1 . 9/8/2009
Nice! I've always wondered what poor Cosette must've thought upon seeing her father come home covered, literally, in poo. I'd have fainted too, I think.