|Reviews for Parallel Lives|
| Nilhaldra chapter 14 . 6/25/2018
I'm so happy I found this story so late, there was plenty of material to binge read
I'm sad that it appears the next chapter is stuck in limbo. Now the readers know how Keitaro felt way back in the beginning .
| Johnsmitish chapter 14 . 2/22/2017
Wow, this was actually a really good fic, and I'm pretty sad that it's not gonna be continued.
| Johnsmitish chapter 4 . 2/22/2017
Ehhh, I'm worried about where this fic is going. I mean, it's incredibly well written, and I'm pretty interested in the plot, but I'm worried about how this is going to go between Keitaro and Shinobu. I really don't want them to get paired up while she's still 14.
| SomebodyLost chapter 14 . 1/19/2017
I'm confused on the timeline, haha. But otherwise, this story is very enjoyable! As an AU of canon (hence, a parallel of canon? Hehehehe), I love what you did with this. Especially confident!Shinobu, madehismind!Keitaro, awareandshipperondeck!Su, supportive!Haruka, and humbled!Motoko. Character progression! :D
I truly love what you did with the issue with Tsuruko. It really shows that without Keitaro to save their asses, they'll need to step up and learn. I wonder what they'll do the next times problems crop up now. :)
Okinawa huh? I'm guessing Mutsumi will be making an appearance. :D
Please keep this up! This is awesome! Thanks for writing. :D
| DrgnMstr chapter 14 . 10/12/2016
I'm so sad that you abandoned this fic. I was really liking where you went with this. If it was because of concerns about making this out to be a re-write of Repercussions, I can understand, but I think the differences would have been interesting nonetheless.
| DredgenVayn chapter 14 . 7/26/2016
I liked this story, although it seems unfinished.
| LeadAcid chapter 14 . 11/19/2015
Bravo! An excellent read!
Shame it hasn't been updated in so very long.
I can't say much more about the characterization than what Fisher29 has said in a previous review (from 2 years ago!). Simply put, you write engaging characters. Characters that we want to read more about.
Technically, your writing is spot on. Either you have an excellent proof-reader, of you are quite adept at writing. I suspect the latter. In all 14 chapters, I didn't see a single technical mistake.
Your story pacing and flow is quite good as well. The only downside is that there is a kind of timelessness to the story. It is difficult to determine if only three or four days have passed, or multiple weeks. For the plot, I suspect that it is only a few days, but that calls into question how quickly the characters have changed. But, if it is weeks, how have the characters been able to afford to be away from their obligations for so long? Surely Motoko, Su, Shinobu and Naru have school? Or does the story take place over some vacation period? A little nit-pick.
My only recommendation, technically, would be setting the scene more thoroughly. It is hard to tell exactly what is going on, physically, with the characters within the scene. For example, with Motoko and Su confronting Keitaro and Shinobu in their room. You describe someone, ambiguously, knocking on the door. Good call. They wouldn't allow entrance if they knew who it was. They converse, Motoko apologizes, and then suddenly they're in the room? Where did the confrontation and apology occur? In the hallway? In the room?
I'm not saying that you have to call out every little detail. In fact, you shouldn't, as the mind will fill in those gaps, but some kind of scene transition detail wouldn't hurt.
Realistically, for a character-driven story, both of these issues don't really matter, and honestly don't even enter your mind, so good is your writing.
I hope someday you will take up writing again. It is truly a pleasure to read.
| BlackPitbull chapter 14 . 7/1/2014
i like your still of writing and I can't help but notice you made a few references to Metal Gear Solid and its main character along with a few military terms...check your inbox please, there is a message waiting.
| ChronoTriggerMan chapter 9 . 6/21/2014
Well...never heard THAT before! Shinobu with Turner's Syndrome...wow.
| ChronoTriggerMan chapter 3 . 6/19/2014
Hakura, you must really care about your nephew to not notice you were drinking cigarette coffee.
| ChronoTriggerMan chapter 2 . 6/19/2014
Su, you're awesome!
| Starfire99 chapter 14 . 8/24/2013
You ever going to finish this story? It's been almost TWO YEARS now since you posted a new chapter. That's a pretty ridiculous amount of time to make readers wait.
| Fisher29 chapter 14 . 3/12/2013
I have to say, I'm quite impressed by this story. I've only gotten into Love Hina fanfic recently (came here via a crossover fanfic with Fate/Stay Night) but this fic (and repercussions before it) have grabbed my attention thoroughly.
It's plain that character development is the main focus of this fic, and it does it well. The growing intimacy and trust between the new couple, Su's own hopes and desires moving her more to the foreground, Motoko growing up and becoming disillusioned with her fellow basher-of-men and her degenerating attitude, not to mention being more aware of her own emotional needs... frankly, it's fascinating stuff to read. Naru and Kitsune as well; how much of this 'mercenary' attitude will she retain once the alcohol wears off? Will she bury her guilt and loss beneath manufactured fury (short trem, almost certainly) or will she start facing up to her own issues? Are we looking at a decisive confrontation where the former band of inn-dwellers split down the middle? It's all very intriguing, and I seriously hope that some day, we hear more of it, if Nodoka and her muse ever wish to revisit the story.
| gaiawolf chapter 14 . 2/26/2013
Well now, this is an interesting story. I had a friend who suffers from the same disease as the one you gave Shinobu. I hope you continue this story.
| Ibskib chapter 14 . 11/7/2012
It seems like this fic has been very difficult to write for the author, all in all I've enjoyed it very much. Only thing I could have wanted is a bit more screentime for Kaitaro and Shinobu, spending so much time on the other POV's made the pacing feel a bit slow, but then again perhaps it made me appreciate some of the tender moments all the more :-)
I hope a muse will bring inspiration to continue this fic again some day.