|Reviews for Sophie Cohen|
| Emily989 chapter 1 . 4/18/2012
My name is Emily. This is an interesting story. What if you do some others? Like in Season 1 when Oliver kept talking about his girlfriend Natalie Bishop at Pacific. It turned out to be a much older woman as a desk clerk at the hotel. Well, what if it was changed? What if Oliver really did have an ex-girlfriend at Pacific called Natalie Bishop? What if when Luke went to Pacific, Ryan went with him, and he saw Natalie from a distantce, and it was love at first sight. Yes, what if Ryan Atwood fell in love with Natalie Bishop and vice-versa? Ryan breaks up with Marissa, but still has a big-brother relationship with Kaitlin. What do you think of all that? Please contact me if you like the idea. Because I have another one too.
| TheYummyPencil chapter 1 . 3/4/2010
Hi, Lea. I know that this fic has been out for a while, but I reckon it is never too late for a little constructive criticism!
Are you familiar with the term 'Mary Sue'? If not, I suggest that you look it up, because your original character is one. Speaking of characters...I like your characterization of Sandy, Seth, Kirsten and Ryan. They come across quite well. But this is marred by spelling and punctuation errors. I understand that you didn't have a beta, but you don't necessarily need one to proof-read your own story.
So yeah. A good attempt. But I think that you can do better :)