Reviews for Something You'll Never Forget
MalkieriJester chapter 1 . 10/30/2012
This was tasty! Disturbing, as was obviously some of your intention, but tasty! The flavor is gritty and sour and salty and has a hint of the copper of blood in it, and that's what makes this surreal scene so real. Well done. (as he chokes on his own tooth in the story, I really begin to wonder just how bedraggled and scarred and beaten is this man? Is he already halfway from Smeagol to Gollum? Not the same greedy madness, but his madness seems to be bringing the same result, his descent is turning him into a beast, physically as well as mentally)
MessengerOfDreams chapter 1 . 10/30/2012
Whooooooa. This piece is thoroughly intense, really. It's not the kind of over-angst over-dramatized intense, this is just sling you against the wall and leave your mind -ding- ed and splattered all over the place intense. You do a fantastic job at not letting up, just like Tyler there's nothing sweet or comforting or relieving or even any breath to draw. This is a definite big risk to take in regards to writing but here, it paid off perfectly. Brilliant job at depicting a frighteningly abusive relationship in a frightening way that throws the reader around just as much as the narrator.
Ventisquear chapter 1 . 10/30/2012
I love intensity of emotions here. The Narrator's exhaustion, his helpless quiet despair are almost palpable. You captured the tension and dynamics between the Narrarot and Tylor brilliantly.
Second person really works here, and wow your descriptions are amazing.
This was pure pleasure to read. :)
Helicarriers chapter 1 . 10/19/2012
I've read quite a few works by Chuck Palahniuk (and have gone through Fight Club more times than I care to count!). That being said, the first aspect of this story that jumped out to me was the narrative voice. You have a really good grasp on what the narrator is feeling, and I liked the use of the pronoun "you". It makes the reader feel that like they're in the narrator's shoes that much more.

And from the looks of it, one definitely wouldn't want to be lectured by Tyler, seeing as it's gone far past simple abuse at this stage - regardless if he's a hallucination or not. There's a lot of descriptive phrases that provoked some vivid (and quite disturbing) imagery, but my favourite has to be "…suddenly you can feel nothing but pain as broken fingernails carve bloody little rivers down your arm." …Yikes!

I also found it interesting how you added, "you absently wonder how many of your teeth Tyler has knocked out himself". It showed how detached the narrator was, and added up to a bigger picture of how he never really knew if it was Tyler or himself that did certain things. It really added another dimension to the character's paranoia.

Very well-done.
The Bitter Kitten chapter 1 . 6/23/2012
Ugh! So, so good. It was bold to use second person, and it works really, really well.

I can even see Tyler tormenting the narrator like this just because he can- and the mindscrew that you created him, and that effectively, you're doing this to yourself...

Superb work :3
Asase chapter 1 . 5/24/2012

That was really creepy and totally spot on! The tension you created was perfect.

Great read.
truthsetfree chapter 1 . 4/10/2012
I love the inner turmoil here. Great dialogue/interaction between the two personalities.

This is definitely in character, and consistent with the movie's tone and themes.

Well done.
Zuvios Gemini chapter 1 . 12/4/2011
Awesome story. :) Thanks for sharing.
Rowvle chapter 1 . 10/20/2011
Wow, just wow. This was an absolutely amazing story. You have such a flair with words and your writing style is to die for. You have written this so well in character, every single word is 100% believable. You have portrayed both Jack and Tyler so well, could have almost believed that this was a page out of the novel! I really enjoyed reading this, great job!
thenewkait chapter 1 . 3/6/2011
This was perfect Narrator! You did a great job with getting the characters of Tyler and Narrator down! It was great!

CheapFunFree chapter 1 . 9/12/2010
This is brilliant, really brilliant. Your writing style and your words are so perfect, and you follow the characters so expertly. This is very well done.
Luna Rapunzel chapter 1 . 8/17/2010
Long story short, I was looking at everybody's preferences on the birthday thread and figured that when yours comes around everybody's going to do your HP choices and I saw that you had put Fight Club on there and I'd heard of the movie but didn't know too much about it other than the fact that it involves a club for fighting that's completely kept secret, and I found that idea mildly intriguing, so I figured I'd watch the movie and if I liked it when your birthday rolls around I'll do Fight Club instead of HP for you so that it's not a complete HP bombardment. And OMG, I'm in love with the movie. I mean, I'm a little squicky about the violence/language in principle, but I don't really mind because they're not glorifying it, so as opposed to stupid annoying macho movies where everybody beats each other up for the fun of it, there's actually a moral. It's good stuff. And then I was digging around for TylerNarrator fic to see how other people approach it because you requested it and I didn't really see where you were coming from from seeing the movie alone, and I stumbled across this, and I read it and didn't even realize you'd written it until after I'd finished it, and then I got excited because THIS IS SO GOOD, and now your entire review doesn't even address this story, so sorry about that.

Anyway, this is excellent! Like I said, I wouldn't be a huge fan of this ship, at least not based on the movie, but you definitely pulled it off-I can see how the slash here could follow from Tyler imposing himself on the narrator. I love that you wrote it in second person; it was really effective here. And I really love your writing style. :)
youngwriter123 chapter 1 . 8/7/2010
EPIC :) Gosh do I love them sadistic stories XD

Thanks for writing this piece, one of the best I've read so far!
Bad Mum chapter 1 . 3/22/2010
I don't know Fight Club at all, but this is a very good piece of writing. The narrator's struggle to rid himself of Tyler is really well portrayed.
Il'Diko chapter 1 . 3/19/2010
Well, I never saw 'Fight Club', but I did like this. It was amazingly written, actually enjoyable and so realistic. Had to re-read it, after I read, that it was slash... on the second read, I did saw that aspect too. And hey, for not really reading slash, I'm glad I gave this a chance. I can't say much about characterisation, nor plot. But I can say, that it was a great piece of writing. Detailed and well trough thought.

I got a little confused by wikipedia... Shouldn't Tyler and the Narrator be the same person? Or maybe I misunderstood something on wikipedia...
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