|Reviews for The One Who Survives|
| Thug-4-Less chapter 1 . 12/9/2009
This one-shot reminds me of The Road. It's very psychological and fraught with tension throughout the entirety. It is definitely easier to read than The Road and proceeds at a pace that makes it go by fast.
I did have a problem with how easily Royce was duped into telling him what his plans were. As paranoid as you made him out to be, surely it would have occurred to him that some people wouldn't want anyone coming to rescue them. Especially with a bunch of escaped prisoners presumably still running around.
I also don't think it was really necessary to go into Calhoun's childhood in such detail. I think that was the only part of the story that really bogged down the pace.
All in all, I think this was definitely a well-written one-shot that will make a reader think.
Thanks for writing.
| legendslayer222 chapter 1 . 9/25/2009
Wow... This was great. The way you built the characters, and also the mentality of them after their time on Na Pali, was fantastic.
Even though Calhoun was kind of evil, I still feel a bit sorry for him and I know why he did it. He was amazingly disguised as an ally, I didn't suspect him at all after they had sat down for their meal.
Few 7-Bullets mentions, but you wouldn't need to play it to know what you were on about.
Blck painted Nali were also interesting, and made a good sub plot. (But what about the Vandora Guard?)
| tapioca two-step chapter 1 . 9/18/2009
I counted maybe three or four grammar mistakes in this entire fanfiction. Kudos.
I don't think I can put into words exactly what I felt when reading this fanfiction. It was akin to actually playing the game and having the character step out of the Vortex Rikers for the first time. Everything felt new and somehow familiar.
This story is absolutely the most poetical, humorous, mysterious, gut-wrenching piece of fiction in this category. I loved it. I loved every word of it. You're brilliant to think of a common dialect that all the inhabitants of Na Pali would speak. I almost cried when he found the woman's body after he chased the Krall away. Royce's 'well hello handsome' quote made me laugh out loud. You descriptions are perfectly accurate; you've transformed a game landscape into an actual space with a history.
Calhoun is positively evil, but you didn't make him thus without solid reasoning and a backstory. Humans' treatment of other humans-I never thought it could be this cruel, but as I think about it, Na Pali is all about survival of the fittest. Once again, superb characterization. The juxtaposition between Calhoun's obsessive compulsive cleanliness and the heartlessness with which he kills Royce is just, gah. Too perfect.
My reader's heart ached for Royce. He came all that way to be destroyed by the greed and self-preservation instinct of another man. His death was too painful to watch because I hated Calhoun so much at that moment. Curly, too. I found myself wishing for the fat man's head on a pike, Santa look-alike or not.
Guh. As if the Nali weren't oppressed enough. Curly had to go and have his entire being warped by a human.
Curly's reasoning at the end killed me. Bittersweet and beautiful.
Story favorited. You are a fabulous writer.