Reviews for The Sun Soul
Guest chapter 2 . 10/14
Okay the dangers is understandable but everything else is unrealistic. First point, Professor Oak would have been able to defeat that Gyarados, even if it would have been able to kill some people and destroy half of the town. But destroy every houses and kill everyone, not possible. Some experienced trainer live in pallet town as well and they could have help. 2nd point, Everbody in that town knew the danger of living there, so I am sure that they must have come up with some safety measures, either well trained Pokemon own by the professor or given by the league or shelter. Humans are resilient that way, and a town where the most important professor lived would be protected by the league if he wasn’t able to protect the lab and people. Since it was only one gyarados attacked, a large % of people would have Escape. Danger can be fought by many means, such us technology and intelligence. So if the Pokemon are too strong, find a way to combat their strength. Last but not least, you kill Ash’s mother and wiped out the whole town and they act as if nothing happened. I called that bullshit. Even if this happens frequently in their world, that doesn’t mean that they are immune to it. So put more emotions to the story, because i fee like i am reading a history book instead of a story.
Zarroc789 chapter 8 . 9/23
I spoke to soon
Zarroc789 chapter 8 . 9/23
Does no one care that mistys staru just died
Guest chapter 15 . 9/22
Don't like how getting to these gyms was the most important thing in their lives - literally, they risked their lives with high risks plenty of times just to finish it a little faster - and then he gets an offer of being a gym leader and they both pretty much just drop it for a YEAR.

Now, maybe I could understand it if him being a gym leader meant he would automatically be able to ask the E4 about gaining access now, since his status changed he should have this option, but apparently nothing has changed at all. After a year, suddenly it has become important again.

I understand him feeling some sense of responsibility and all, but when what they were doing was THAT important to them, you don't just put it on hold for a whole year.

Your writing/plot is getting worse and worse in my book.
Guest chapter 14 . 9/22
A few things I dislike here. A fairly minor one is now Misty apparently having been much deeper with Team Rocket than we previously thought, and even went as far as sleeping with people on their command. This is a serious character downgrade in my book.

The major one though is that -Ash lost- and would have both died and lost Pikachu if Brock (who himself got deus-ex-machina'd) didn't magically appear at exactly the right time.

To me, more than anything, it means that our main character has already failed in his quest. At this point he may as well be dead in my mind. He had a plan, he executed it, and failed completely within the confines of his perceived reality. Even ended up a begging mess.

I don't see what he can do to redeem himself as a person worthy of achieving his goals after that. I also don't see what character I'm supposed to connect with at this point - they all seem like quite terrible choices. A weakling, a willing whore or ... well, Brock.

Too bad. You had a very interesting story with a good start, but you try too hard to make everyone and everything far too dark, and it ends up just becoming unappealing.
Guest chapter 8 . 9/22
It's really weird that Brock just, like, moved in with them out of nowhere. Invited himself and is now staying -in their room- with them. Really, really weird.
king-of-sass chapter 4 . 9/4
I love the natural way this story introduces gym badges! Also TR is a serious threat. Nice. Poor Jenny.
lynnell246 chapter 5 . 8/1
Growlithe is a good boy!
Guest chapter 5 . 7/30
This chapter was amazing. You really kept me hooked on.
Shadow of Future chapter 1 . 6/26
What a rich and enticing summary! You have convinced me to read this.
Mermaid's Magic chapter 1 . 6/16
... isn't Ash suppose to be 10 when he starts his journey?
Skorcher007 chapter 3 . 5/28
I love the story so far.. But honestly the lack of reaction of ash's mom's death was more than a little surprising. He found out from Misty? Professor didn't even talk to Ash about it. No words between them for the loss of their mother/daughter.. No talk of burying the body or having a funeral. Just.. Oh she died, that really sucks and a brief internal dialogue ash has about her being gone. I felt that was a little unrealistic, even if its a harsh world they live in. Maybe just me? Anyways good stuff overall man.
Verdauga chapter 11 . 5/2
Well then. You've struck a critical blow to my feelings.
Verdauga chapter 2 . 5/1
Wow. Already quite impressed by what I've seen so far, looking forward to reading more.
Jman15008 chapter 1 . 4/8
So far I'm only on chapter 6 of this series, but I love what I've read thus far. I liked the writing style very quickly and really like the pacing that it's had. It was a pretty big shock at how dark this world was, but that just makes it more interesting :D I'm looking forward to finishing this and checking out other stories you've done!
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