|Reviews for Tears of Love|
| GuruCooksiez chapter 1 . 8/3/2013
This is amazingly done I absolutely love Mari and Akko and you captured their personalities perfectly...MARIXAKKO FOREVER
| Redline57 chapter 1 . 11/15/2012
Aww this was like the sweetest thing I've read in so long. Very great job, I loved it!
| norishima chapter 1 . 12/26/2011
Man, this was soooo good, it felt like i was reading a true Morinaga Milk chapter!
Amaaaazing! AMAZING! And did i say... a-m-a-z-i-n-g!
My only(tiny, little, tid bit) problem with it is in the first sentence where Akko refers to Mari as the "love of her life". I felt like it was kinda early for her to make such a bold statement.
But other than that, i would say... perfect!
| kaizer20 chapter 1 . 3/30/2011
I really liked this story and I hope I get to see a lot more stories from you
Infinity High! Move on!
| jquackers chapter 1 . 12/18/2009
Don't forget to place commas where they should be. Watch for other grammar errors, as well, such as comma splices and run-on sentences.
I'd have to say the "*Sob*" part ruined the emotion set forth in that whole paragraph, and those preceding. The thing with the asterisk showing an action is a no-no in stories. In instant messaging, author notes, and the like, it's fine, but when you're writing a story like this, no. It sounds so much better when you actually type it out, considering it's more sophisticated that way, and also makes you stick in more details, more description.
Don't put semi-colons where they shouldn't be, such as "I exclaim; too brightly, again." It doesn't make sense to put a semi-colon there, since semi-colons link two independent clauses. "too brightly, again" is a dependent clause, so it wouldn't work; you would have to use a comma in this case.
And again, right after that "I exclaim..." sentence, you need commas: "...my rimmed eyes, too, because..."
"...for a while, Akko..."
So on and so forth with the examples.
"no-one." They are two separate words, so you don't need the dash there: "no one"
I thought the confession (and the moments following the confession) was too sudden.. too blunt, too. I think you should've added more details before you pushed forward to the confession. More description about Akko's actual actions would've made it a lot less sudden and blunt. Like, instead of JUST saying "My face feels so hot," you could also add something like, "I fiddled with the zipper on my jacket in fear and anxiety" or "I restlessly shuffled from one foot to the other, my heartbeats pounding in my ears."
Overall, besides the grammar, rushed feeling, and blunt moments, this was fairly well-written. In some parts, mostly in the beginning, the emotion was respectably expressed through your words, which is definitely a good thing.
A little more work and you could become a fantastic writer.
Thanks for the read.
| DynamiteiSei chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
WOW! So emotional! This is amazing xD I love it!
| Major Mike Powell III chapter 1 . 9/23/2009
Well, well, soldier...
I agree. Akko and Mari just come so...so...so naturally together! LOL
And this was SO believable!
And downright LOEVly. And FLUFFy, just like "Girlfriends" is supposed to be.
Nice work, marine!
Semper-Fi! Carry on!
| r.e.ign.shyler chapter 1 . 9/20/2009
aw... this makes the wait for the next chapter bearable.._
| maxibear23 chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
Aw...I absolutely LOVE these two.
And you are so right, the natural way these two come together is cute!
Its agonizing waiting for month for a chapter update T_T, so indeed thank you for this one-shot!
So fluffy and heart warming!
AWESOME! *wipes tears of joy away*
| aria sun chapter 1 . 9/13/2009
yep...that was quite marvelous...left me feeling all warm and fuzzy
Arigato ethereal san
sigh...If only Milk would have pity and follow the plot...But i get a feeling It will another agonizing wait the next chapter... ...SO double thanks for this!