Reviews for A Forest Tale
Stephair chapter 34 . 10/5/2015
Loved your intricate, wonderfully well -written story. Couldn't put it down! Liked 1st ending better. Second was kinda confusing and I don't like seeing Severus as second choice. Off to check out your other stories!
Good Idea chapter 22 . 8/12/2015
Severus/Mary shipping sounds good to me! And I love the Rowling-like hints you put in the story that no body would pays attention to until the whole plot is revealed.
evanescencelady chapter 32 . 6/4/2015
Thank you very much for your story! I had a really great time reading it as it captured me so 3 Very very well written!
Guest chapter 9 . 7/20/2014
this makes no sense 0_0

no sense what so ever moody trust her immediately? no question asked just yeah go ahead join them in raiding the prison, you person who was on the island and could possibly be a here to under mine us and shit, also lily asking snape about the book yeah great but mary nah we dont need that we know her its not like it could be some one else in disguised !

the whole going into prison is insane i was a prisoner cuz of my grand dad but i can go and come back and is all good, they know me, they know i wont leave my grand daddy who is dead ?! because they dont know that i know yes lets all trust you 0_0 and how many times did she escape?! for a super bad ass prison its seem pretty lax

not to mention 3 people invading a prison with apparently a hell of a lot of complicated wards and shit and just be like raargghhh we made it inside blast shit and lets go 0_0 because fuck if i know

seriously was enjoying this story up until this point 0_0
PhiGirl chapter 34 . 3/20/2014
Quite a dramatic ending, but I like the first one better. This one seems a bit far-fetched.
All in all a very enjoyable read, again :)

Btw, are you planning to write other fics in the future? (You have probably noticed by now that I hope you do ;-))
PhiGirl chapter 16 . 3/20/2014
Wow, you're mean, to use the boggart like that Poor Snape.

The patroni could also mean something slightly different - Lily's happiness/strength is her relationship with James, while Severus doesn't need the reciprocation.

Regarding the hind/doe issue, I think they would look very similar in patronus form (all silvery, for one) so it might be either. I don't think that either Dumbledore, Snape or Harry is an expert on deer.
LoireLoa chapter 34 . 3/15/2014
I like the first ending better. Severus deserves more than lily.
dash11 chapter 32 . 12/29/2012
Oh wow, I could not put this story down until I'd finished. I was on the very edge of my seat so many times... I never knew what would happen next. It took me a LONG time to realize Mary's importance.

I can tell that Lily is a good, kind person - but I almost hate her. She's just so, I don't know. She loves her friends and family and she's willing to make great sacrifices. But, somehow Severus always seems to be paying the price instead. And she simply isn't capable of giving him what he deserves. She's already picked James. And he's a great guy. But not as great as the man who always seems to be in second place.

I've read the alternate ending, and the first one is WAY better. The thought of Mary alone after everything she did is a rather horrible one. Plus, this ending is much more believable. I can't really see James acting like that. But, I suppose that it IS a "bizarre development" for those SS/LE shippers.

You did a really good job with Mary - little things like her fear of snakes make her very real. And she seems incredibly brave - it takes a lot of nerve to break into Azkaban! Even Dumbledore, even LILY never thought of doing THAT. And because SHE is actually risking and actually HELPING Snape, he WOULD consider that kind of thing unbelievable. Because SOMEONE else would never make those kind of sacrifices and he seems horrifyingly used to giving everything in return for nothing.

Now I'm ranting. So, I'm just gonna stop right now and move on. But, I don't get worked up often. Not unless a story is really well written. So congrats. The really annoying part is that Lily is very nice and kind and sweet, and I still can't like her. You've potrayed her perfectly.

I love Severus Snape. And I like James Potter and company. And I really enjoy stories that force them to work together. Unfortunately, I can't find too many of those, because people tend to demonize James. Or probably Snape (I tend to avoid stories depicting Snape in a really bad light). You did a great job with them, especially with James, Sirius, Lily, Peter, and of course Severus. You showed their strengths as well as their flaws.

For example, from canon I figured that James must have been a great guy. Incredibly brave, bold, a good father, and a loving husband. But, probably also vain, somewhat conceited, and predjudiced against anyone remotely dark. You showed that REALLY well.

And Snape is hard to write. I'm not gonna say much here, he's hard to describe too. But, you managed to potray him very well.

Thanks for sharing this masterpiece. I love it!
OspreyEmblem chapter 34 . 12/21/2012
Mmm...really liked the story, but not so much the alternate ending. Great work, though.
MuggleCreator chapter 32 . 12/16/2012
I'm not reading past this point. This is bloody perfect! Yippee! Lovely stuff.
totalreadr at yahoo chapter 34 . 5/28/2012
...and then there's the whole thing with Mary. Which I've avoided ever really addressing because I was having a hard time putting my thoughts into words. But I'll give it a shot.

In canon, we often see Snape happening to look weaker and/or worse than he actually is due to bad luck. For example, when he insists on refereeing the Quidditch game in order to protect Harry, but of course he can't say it's to protect Harry, so everyone assumes he just wants to make sure Gryffindor loses the game. And we are shown this pretty clearly in childhood/adolescence scenes with Lily too.

So maybe that's all that's happened in this fic with Mary. Maybe the character is meant to be stronger and better than she comes off on the surface. After all, there are little narrative gestures to that effect; in particular I'm remembering when Mary talks about her time in Azkaban and Snape thinks she must be tough to have survived there so long. But... Well. What you see is always more powerful than what you extrapolate. Snape may *extrapolate* that Mary's tough, but we *see* her mostly weak. (Similarly, both we and Lily may *extrapolate* that, as Snape points out to Harry, the Marauders never attack him one on one and that maybe the outcome would be different if they ever did...but we *see* them overcoming him. By ganging up on him, but still, them *winning* is what we *see*.)

So maybe Mary only comes off as weaker and more pathetic than Snape due to chance - but she does come off that way.

*Especially* in the "Lily experiences Mary's love for Snape" scene. Snape's will is irresistible! He keeps saving her! Etc., etc...

It really seems to fit into or to advocate the cultural trope that, "A woman can only love a man who's superior to her."

One of the creepiest HP essays I've ever read actually explicitly argued that it was of course normal for the boy in a boy-girl friendship to develop a crush on his female friend, but that such a relationship could never work out because after all, friends are peers, are equals, and to fall in love a woman needs a man to be her superior. Eeeeucccch.

This cultural attitude definitely shows up in HP canon. Lily at least seems to be characterized as holding this attitude (as whitehound said, she seems to want her lovers to be domineering).

So I probably shouldn't be surprised that so many Snape/OC fics provide him with love by providing him with a character who *is* weaker than he is, a character who can look up to *him* (and hence, according to the cultural trope, love him). Some of the stories can get pretty obnoxious and blatant with their, "See, Snape, *this* is what you *really* should have wanted! There you were, aspiring above your station to a woman who, as your friend and peer, was obviously too good for you; but aren't you so much happier now that you have someone who looks up to you, someone to take care of, someone who, as your feminine inferior, is your social equal?"

But yeccch. Personally I hate that "a woman needs a superior" crap. (I personally have a much easier time with the opposite relationship, one where the woman is the "superior" one, because that at least goes against all the social pressure instead of bolstering it.)

And well...there's just a certain whiff of that in this Snape/Mary storyline.

I like that Lily acknowledges she's been suppressing her love for Snape partly due to social pressure though. ;)

On another topic: Well, again, I dislike the deus ex machina aspect. If Lily's romantic love for Snape is so very suppressed that the only way for it to escape is some extremely unlikely chance experience...if after it escapes she wishes it hadn't...well...

For one thing, her choice then would be that it hadn't escaped. Again we see her choice taken away.

And for another, if that's the only way her love would ever escape its suppression...then it can't be very strong now can it? Not the best basis for a relationship.

I'm obviously not the "in vino veritas" / "what you do without your inhibitions is what you REALLY want" type. ;) Personally I believe that your "inhibitions" are a part of you. Just because some suppressed part of you wants something doesn't mean all of you does. IMO what you "really want" isn't what's released by some drug / bizarre chance experience, but rather what you choose when you're calm, relaxed, healthy, not desperate in any way, and not under the influence of any drug, deception, other manipulation, or of course in fiction, magic.
totalreadr at yahoo chapter 34 . 5/27/2012
Well, it's been a long time, but I've finally read the alternate ending.

And ah, what a creepy, negative, ominous ending. You really hate the idea of Snape and Lily, hmm? Even though you recognize that *James* ended up with her partly by deception...interesting, that. ;)

Well, as I said back when I read all of this story *except* the alternate ending, I really hate to see relationships broken up by chance. Or created by chance. Or reunited by chance, especially when the chance also broke up another relationship.

Personally I think that in an ideal world, nothing so important as a long-term relationship would ever, ever be decided by something so *random* as just *chance*. (Or by deception FTM.)

People should know each other - know each other thoroughly, thoroughly enough to *know* if they're a good match. People should make relationship decisions openly, honestly and *freely*, unencumbered by misunderstandings, deception or bad luck.

When I see a relationship destroyed by misunderstandings, deception and/or bad luck, I want to see it healed by truth and by honest choice on the part of the participants.

I certainly do not want to see it reconstituted (I can't call such a situation "healing") by nothing but *more* chance and/or the choices of *others*!

To see Lily contemplate whether or not to stay with James, only to have all choice removed by James' choice to leave...a choice prompted by the chance occurrence of Remus' breakdown...TBH the best word for that is *creepy*. It's *creepy* to see Lily's choice taken away. It's *creepy* to see her get a second chance with Snape only because James basically performs the cultural ritual of "giving" her to him (telling him to "take care of her").

Also. The potential future relationship that this story leaves us with...feels like an ominous one. Feels like, TBH, a potentially abusive one. Because canon Snape is so clearly, so achingly a character who above all else needs to be *chosen*. He needs someone to choose him and to choose to put him *first*. (Because he never got that from his parents as he should have, poor guy.)

And with this relationship history...he will always, always feel himself to have been Lily's second choice.

Having only chosen Snape after James' departure, Lily would have nothing she could do to ever, ever prove to Snape that she ever would or could or did choose him *above all others*. Not really. Not in a way he could ever wholeheartedly believe.

I can easily see Snape eaten up by this, always searching for proof of Lily's love, never finding it in a way he can truly feel. I can easily see this search for proof he never finds turning eventually into outright abuse.

Like I said:

CREEPY.
Angie chapter 34 . 5/20/2012
loved your story. i prefer the alternate ending, and would dearly love to see a sequel. fantastic job, really!
excessivelyperky chapter 34 . 5/8/2012
I don't like this ending; Lily still has all the power, since she can always claim she was fooled by the impersonation.

But now she knows that Severus can love another, she can't possibly let him go find Mary; Lily always gets what she wants.
excessivelyperky chapter 33 . 4/4/2012
I hope Severus decides that he has no chance with Lily; anything she starts with him now will be only to avenge James' disloyalty. She's made it clear that she's perfectly willing to use him, but not to love him.

I hope he decides to find Mary; after all, his Patronus will always find her now.

As for James, he's just like Lily. Nothing is ever really his fault, it's always someone else's.

And boy, is Snape is trouble _now_.
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