Reviews for Merman's Kiss
Em0C00kie chapter 2 . 2/17/2014
i guess you dropped the story... its a shame i loved it :/
Guest chapter 2 . 3/14/2013
I'm actually really interested in what happens next plz write more
Replica Roxas chapter 2 . 12/4/2011
It's been over two years since the last update guess you dropped this story, that's too bad it was interesting.
zombiecupcake'eats-you chapter 2 . 10/11/2011
awwww, mermans are angry lol
emocookie chapter 2 . 4/22/2011
i love love love it! now u ll get a stalker! xDDD i cant wait for more! pleeeeeease hurry up and write more!
RawrHappi chapter 2 . 10/6/2009
I am so very addicted to this story...

I can't wait for the next chapter
PhoenixDash chapter 2 . 9/23/2009
What a wonderful tale about; Axel making a fool of himself; the "beautiful being" (-being-) the saviour; and those horrible creatures being the ugly villains.. Honestly they freaked me out for sure!((O O))

I hope that I get to read another update of this story someday soon. Unfortunely I've haven't gotten to read this earlier beacuse that we've got a power failur and have been without any power since a week ago. And we still won't get any until on Friday! That kind of makes my day worse because when I get home I can barly see anything because our house wasn't built to take in the sun-light.. Jippie..

And I can't seriously wait until Friday. (I think I've gotten a new meaning for "Thank God it's Friday".. Seriously!)

Well, until our paths will meet once again!

-PD

(Did you notice my sarcasm in this review? Because often people misunderstands me when I'm sarcastic. The joys of being me!;)
Cirque du Lune chapter 2 . 9/20/2009
HA! I knew it wouldn't stay peaceful for long. XD

Oh yeah, how does Axel stay underwater for so long? OAo

Actually, the descriptions give a more uh, what's that word? vivid image of what's happening. :)

Love.

~Cirque
crownedclown3293 chapter 2 . 9/20/2009
I will never look at the Little Mermaid the same way again.

LOL I loved it :D
b4k4 ch4n chapter 2 . 9/20/2009
Ouu, very interesting! I really enjoy reading all the descriptions. You did a really good job.

So, Axel's able to continue breathing underwater as just long as he doesn't open his mouth?

Keep it up! Can't wait to see what happens next. Hope Axel doesn't die from blood lost lol.
ichigofieldsforever chapter 2 . 9/20/2009
I love the descripitions!

They make it easier to picture the story

Update soon please!
angry.Katzchen chapter 2 . 9/19/2009
yur descriptions are pretty good! : D direct to the point but dont lack the beauty and detail of a good work. i laughed at how axel kissed blondie xD hope to see more of this fic soon :) is very very original 3
mei lynn 64 chapter 2 . 9/19/2009
OHH! This is still really good! MAN! I really love how much trouble Axel got into with this I died when Axel started to kiss Roxas forecefully. That was just awesome. OH! I remember that part!-points to the part-heheh... Axel got biteded!8DD OH! I hope Axel isn't gunna diee!DD8 That would be sad and... yeah.

OH! Some things that you might need to remember though are:

“...sea that Axel had never seen or care about.”

care should be cared

Human’s shouldn't have an ' 's ' on it. I forget the rule about apostrophes. But I can let you know when I remember it.

When you use “foot” and “feet” you should most always use “feet” in your sentence. The only time really that you would use “foot” is when it has a one in front of it. /”She only has one foot!” “Axel and Roxas felt like there were only one foot away from each other.” OR! When it's implied that there is one foot. “Over there by that foot.” OR! When you are talking about a certain foot. Right foot. Left foot.

Other than that this is a really good chapter. I really love your description. You've gotten so much better!:D
BigIrishKing chapter 2 . 9/19/2009
Wow...this is rather amazing. *stares and re-reads* Really, your use of detail and vocabulary is quiet astonishing. It keeps me hooked and wow. This is definately one of my favorite fics nows! 3 And you needy thing, Axel, you. *waves finger* Bad boy. Kissing random creatures. *shot* Anyways, god, I want to know more about the blonde merperson thing (that's so politaclly incorrect but meh) (who is obviously Roxas) But I must have MORE.
Insanecat6 chapter 2 . 9/19/2009
It's wierd, but when I was reading this, it felt like being underwater. Not in the way that the story takes place underwater, though that would make sense too, but it just felt like everything was kind of distorted. The discriptions, of course, are supposed to be that way, but even when I was reading about the attack and I knew there should be a sense of panic, I just didn't feel it like I normally would reading the same scene on land. It was just like when you submerge yourself in a pool and you're completely isolated from everything. You don't feel any rush or worry, just an odd sense of calm even when you feel like you're drowning. Is it wierd that I got that feeling from just reading about being underwater?

I hope Roxas teaches Axel that telepathy trick that he uses for talking soon so that Axel doesn't choke everytime he talks. Otherwise it seems like it'd be a very silent story.

And was there a point to the section with Larxene and Kairi? It just seemed kind of irrelevant to me, but I guess it could come into play later on.

I didn't really feel one way or the other about the descriptions. They weren't particularly boring or exciting, but more just there to serve a purpose, like they should be. Besides, you weren't really descirbing anything that would be interesting in the first place, besides the whole attack scene, and I think that was perfectly fine the way it is.

Love to you for the chapter. I'll be looking forward to the next one. Bye.
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