|Reviews for What You Do to Me|
| midnight13731 chapter 1 . 10/15/2010
that was sooooo cute!
| Jaque Weasley chapter 1 . 2/24/2010
C'mon, I don't see why this could not happen after the incident of the hotel? o.o?
And that incident was not something totally dumb. It explained a lot of things that Naoe hava been feeling all this time, the frutration and suffering acumalated on a big pile of pain over centuries...
"It was really going to suck when Takaya regained all of his memories."
I believe Chiaki is totally wrong. It could be somewhat problematic, yes. Suck it all? Surprisingly not. C'mon, Kagetora erased his own memories beacuse of what? What was his purpose? End the circle. Takaya is Kagetora without memories and in some level, wisdom. But with all memories back, the time he lived without them, being only and simply Takaya will not be forgot. He is seeing Naoe through another perspective, he is trying to understand the man! Kagetora never tried to do that. To me he is moving on, like we all do, trying to erase our mistakes and evolute (go poke ball / lol).
Anyway, I'm just rambling and saying nothing, sorry to waste ur time with this review, but I really enjoyed reading ur story n.n'' And got carried away with what was written n.n''
ja ne o/
| kotone chan chapter 1 . 12/14/2009
| Dolasiar chapter 1 . 11/20/2009
I thought this story was really cute, but believable too. It fits into the storyline well and doesn't try to advance their relationship at an unreasonable pace. Thanks for writing it :)
| yume girl 91 chapter 1 . 10/14/2009
Good one-shot! :D
| radcat38 chapter 1 . 10/13/2009
Nice view of our boys. Are you going to continue? Takaya and Naoe have a nicely confusing twisting relationship.
| 5123 chapter 1 . 9/30/2009
love it! more please!
| Amarissia chapter 1 . 9/19/2009
Just when even the lovely fall weather couldn't cheer me up, I find this. Thank you. You know, for a newbie, you've picked it up awfully quick. I wouldn't want to test my MoB knowledge against yours...particularly since I only pay attention to the Naoe/Takaya stuff. :)
| sisisan chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
That was really sweet! :3
I appreciate all who spent their free time and wrote fanfic of MOB, because there are so few of it for reading :( and thats a pity
| Haruna-Hakkai chapter 1 . 9/14/2009
ooh! nice fic! _
i do want to say some stuffs about how some of the characters SHOULD act and etc but actually you already did pretty well for a beginner _ good job! new writers of MoB fics like you seldom let the characters in-character. im glad you made them behave well. only Takaya and Yuzuru calls Chiaki as Chiaki while Haruhie and Naoe calls him Nagahide. while Haruhie and Nagahide calls Takaya as Kagetora (with Nagahide calling him Bakatora _) and Naoe initially calls him Kagetora-sama and later just as Takaya-san.
okay, first thing first, about the Onryo's attack. im surprise you use "nenpa", its not often writers wrote the actual wordings. "goshinha", "nenpa", "nue" etc. this shows you know your Mirage magic terms quite good _ maybe you should try reading the translated novels at Mirage_Trans community. you can learn more about their magic and terms.
2nd, Naoe got hit and thrown to the tree. um, in that situation, isnt it better to call the ambulance? what if he got a crack at his back bone? but Naoe was conscious and he can still bit out a sarcastic remark so its okay.
3rd, when Takaya said "“You’re going, Naoe,” Takaya growled, “That’s an order from Kagetora."
i think Naoe should have replied "Yes my lord." because he is Kagetora's vassal and knowing their past, Naoe obeys all of his lord's orders. at this time Naoe is still passive, he'll just glare but his bitter question should be said in his mind than voicing it out. like you remember in the anime where Takaya went to his school at night? Naoe came with Haruhie and Takaya said "just go home" and Naoe said "if thats an order from Kagetora-sama, we will obey. however if its from you, we refuse."
4th, Chiaki should be feeling like he doesnt want to be involved with the Yashashuu anymore but i like your description of his thoughts. yes, maybe he can grow to like Takaya and hope Takaya wont follow Kagetora's mistakes. they dont want a repeat of 400 years of love/hate relationship.
5th, i dont think Takaya will kiss Haruhie on the cheek! ahahah! at this stage Takaya is still the rebellious punk but awkward at times. so Takaya should be acting like he needs to be a leader (eventhough he's not sure how) but inside he's damn worried about Naoe. he doesnt want to show any sentimental feeling because its a sign of weakness.
6th, yes. Naoe is stubborn. but hey, we still like him _
sorry for rambling on and on! i hope i didnt offended you. um... i just feel like i need to tell you those minor things. but overall this story is good! better than mine actually _ cuz i never wrote a decent oneshot. sigh...