|Reviews for Demon?|
| Hekigarus chapter 60 . 6/2
Awesome story cant wait for chapter 61, keep up the epic work!
| Spidey2 chapter 60 . 4/28
Awesome story! Keep going!
| Lord Coltrane chapter 60 . 12/27/2014
Okay before I start this review, I have something to say. Even with the shortness of words per chapter, it took me 2 weeks to read this story instead of at the most 2 days. Now moving on to the review.
First I'd like to talk about the harem.
1) Hinata: Good job on Hinata. I mean honestly, you got the character down nicely. Her and Naruto's relationship is solid. Nothing can get in their way.
With that being said...
2) Ino: This little wannabe homewrecker can go jump feet first into a pit of Legos! I did and still do not approve of what she's trying to do! The only reason she's even coming around is because she's being manipulated by that bitch Kyuubi (who's obviously about to get more of a tongue lashing than Ino but I'll get on that ass next) is manipulating her to do so. Otherwise, I wouldn't even bat an eyelash if Naruto dropped Ino right then and there. Hell with her personality like this, I wouldn't care if he dropped her ass in the future. I don't like people trying to manipulate Naruto, especially after what he's been through.
With that being said...
3) Kyuubi: I got some serious problems with her ass. She needs to be put in check. If I were Naruto and I found out that she was trying to manipulate me into leaving the village AND disliking Hiruzen, one of the few people who actually gave a damn about Naruto, I'd tell that bitch straight in her face that stuff like that will not fly in my mindscape. But the most unforgivable thing I can think of her trying to do is change him. This is on a personal level for me because people keep trying to change who I am and they can go fuck themselves because the only person who's going to make me change is me. She could have at least tried to discuss with him about a few of his flaws and try to work them out together, but nooo she has to be all sneaky and shit and he trusts her ass and I don't see him trying to change her. It just disgusts me with how manipulative she is towards the man she "loves." I understand, demons are manipulative, no fucking shit but this does not mean that it's okay. I don't give a damn if she were a million years old, everything she does is not right. Since I might be getting off topic, all I have to say is leave Naruto alone damn! I hope when Naruto finds out she's been scheming and shit to change his ass that he fucking checks her and tell her to cool that shit (Well not in those words exactly but I hope you get the point).
Next, let's talk about some things in your story.
1) Hiruzen Sarutobi: This man has clearly made some mistakes with Naruto and all and has breached his trust for the man. I still love the old man though in this story, he's not evil, he's just someone who's trying to do things for the greater good like a Hokage should. Just like Kyuubi though, doesn't matter how old you are, you're not always right. But the old man is forgivable. Kyuubi is less so.
2) Naruto Uzumaki: He seems to still have Naruto's tendencies to be a dumbass and the one thing I slightly, and I mean slightly, agree with Kyuubi on is that he is too forgiving but unlike her, I think he's not forgiving enough in certain places. I mean at this point, Naruto should have at least tried talking to the old man or hey, even barging in the old man's office and demanding answers like I would expect Naruto to do. And once his tantrum is thrown, they can talk to each other accordingly and fix that problem but nooo, Naruto has to be all "fuck the old man" and doesn't even try to ask about his parents. The Ino situation is the one instance where I agree with Kyuubi about Naruto being too forgiving. When she invaded his privacy, and paid the price, I don't give a damn if she went brain dead from the experience, Naruto at the very least should have lost all respect and trust for her but no, the next day he decides to buy her food and takes her out on a picnic as an apology for her going through that when frankly, Ino deserved what she got coming to her and shouldn't have been rewarded.
3) The ANBU squad that was supposed to protect Naruto as a kid: I'm pretty sure that ANBU Black Ops are smart enough to know the difference between a kunai and the scroll that it's sealed in. And I'm definitely sure that Sarutobi would have had a more competent ANBU squad on Naruto's ass at all times and Naruto shouldn't have even had one finger laid on him during his life. That part was kinda ridiculous.
4) General Problems: Your story is spreading out too much. Naruto hasn't even started a D-rank mission yet and you're on Chapter 60. Then there are the standard grammar and spelling errors but I'm not touching details on that. Your cliffhangers aren't so...well done. The length of chapters need work. That's all I have.
5) What I do like: Hinata and Naruto's relationship, I like the fight scenes, the slight humor here and there, and that it's still interesting to read even with its flaws.
Well that's my review, take it as it is and if you continue to update, I will see what's in store next as long as Naruto eventually makes Kyuubi chill the fuck out. Peace and Coltranes!
| Ketsuoni chapter 41 . 9/17/2014
Excellent use of science
| Guest chapter 16 . 9/13/2014
How about kagegan ( shadow eye ) made that up myself
| xAlwaysBoredx chapter 15 . 8/29/2014
Google translate should work fine for that.
| SHADOW FLAMETHROWER chapter 60 . 8/5/2014
Whens the next chapter
| SHADOW FLAMETHROWER chapter 1 . 8/3/2014
| ChronoMitsurugi chapter 29 . 7/31/2014
Wait so its okay if Kyuubi fucking lies straight to his face but god forbid a weak old political pacifist hide anything that could spark bloodshed.
| ChronoMitsurugi chapter 27 . 7/31/2014
I call bullshit. Now I know Naruto isn't a man. Irregardless of how much she may scream or yell or hit him, a man would never make such a promise. True men would kill and or die for the ones they love. Whether they like it or not. I'm sorry but Kyuubi doesn't get a say. In the words of Inuyasha as well as many other heroes, "Shut up and let me protect you!"
| biofan09 chapter 60 . 6/16/2014
Ow... my head hurts from so many misunderstandings, manipulations, and all around not nice stuff going on.
How is Naruto's dojutsu "suppose" to work? apart from the genjutsu resistance, I thought it gave Naruto photographic memory (as opposed to a sharingan which could also memorize how an opponent was molding their chakra and predict movements), while it was really an excuse for Naruto to use his mindscape's memory room to memorize things like hand sign sequences and taijutsu moves. But if that was the case, then Naruto should not only know at least the hand signs from every jutsu he has seen with it on, he should also have memorized the entire Forbidden Scroll since he scanned all of it and can simply go into his memories and read over it as many times as needed.
This also give Naruto the perfect excuse to confront Sarutobi, since he could just say that his dojutsu let him remember memories he had forgotten, like from when he was a baby. This would let Sarutobi clear the air of the distrust Naruto is building up (or worsening it, depending on his choice of words). I'm surprised someone as smart as Kyuubi (it's really weird not calling her Kurama) hasn't thought of that.
Someone should really fill in Kurenai on bad she fucked up putting Naruto under that technique (The man does not need one more mental trauma to the already too-big list, it speaks volumes about Naruto's mental strength and willpower he hasn't killed himself or gone insane). Probably Kakashi since he was probably one of the few ANBU that cared about Naruto. I mean really: " a few ghosts from his pasts"? She obviously doesn't know a thing of what he has to go through.
| guest for now chapter 51 . 6/10/2014
I have a question did the team placments go on yet because if they didnt then why would ino call shikamaru shika-kun if they weren't on a team yet wasn't she a bitch before that but over all its a great story man I love it keep it going dude youre awesome once I set up my account im following / favoriting you four thumbs up lol
| guest chapter 3 . 6/10/2014
when iruka asked Naruto for elemental justu for each element you forgot a wind justu try the "great breakthrough" justu
| Chronopie chapter 38 . 5/31/2014
You can't really just state that one of the five basic nature transformation no longer exists in a story, unless you plan to alienate part of the fanbase.
Besides, Lightning is part of several advanced nature transformations; Of course, there's Storm release (WaterLightning) and Magnet Release/Jiton (EarthLightning), the latter of which is Shukaku's whole gig. (Well, that and sand). Lightning is kinda important.
And FireAir is Scorch Release (Shakuton). FireWater is Boil release/Futton (Steam/Gases) [Not to be confused with Fūton, wind release]
| casefde chapter 60 . 5/28/2014
wow just wow. I love your story so far. Great description of what is going on and love who looks like is going to be his wives. I hope you keep at it and up date soon.