|Reviews for Home|
| Andromeda Rising chapter 1 . 1/14/2010
Very sweet. But hard to read at times; some of your descriptions were overwrought with adjectives. I mean, take a look at the first sentence, for example. [The sky is an array of sterling amethyst and powder blue; that magical time when the cumulous clouds flush hibiscus pink, tinged with a fluorescent orange, then bloom slowly into a soft, hazy cobalt that overcomes the wet glitter of the formerly sizzling stars and banishes a romantic moon.] It would be improved if you took out some of the adjectives; otherwise, it's lapsing into purple prose. Rule of thumb for writing descriptions: less is more. Describe what's important.
That said, you can write some great descriptions. [And so she misses how his throat constricts as he inhales raggedly; the way his grasp tightens dangerously on the handle of the ceramic cup. The way he grits his pearly whites in unbridled consternation.] I thought this one was amazing (except for "pearly whites", seems out of place.) Instead of telling us that Leon is tense, you show it, and we can feel the tension. You have a good handle on characterisation-Aerith, Leon and Cloud were all very much themelves.
Pretty good, overall.
| Review chapter 1 . 11/14/2009
Beautiful. This was so breathtakingly beautiful D
The colour descriptions were a bit much at times like this:
(green semi-precious stone eyes, shimmering opalescent sunlight, Burnished gold spikes and dark sienna locks)
You lose some of your audience a bit when you use such high descriptions. Sometimes simple is best to connect better with the reader 3
Still a simply gorgeous piece and I enjoyed it very much. Felt a bit bad for poor Leon XD
But I'm a Clorith through and through, so my heart was with them getting together 3
| kairitheseventhprincessofheart chapter 1 . 10/2/2009
how adorable clerith forever!
| sol grand chapter 1 . 10/2/2009
This. Is. Epic-actually, there's no words to descirbe how beautiful and awesome this is! I really wish I read this sooner. This has got to happen in KH3! :D
| Eternally AquaBlue chapter 1 . 9/20/2009
aw such a sweet moment! i would totally wish this would really happen in the real KH series! then i can be the happiest girl alive! 3 cloud/aerith!
| UnratedCrimsonBlood chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
That is so sweet! I love Cloud/Aerith, its just an adorable pairing. You did a good job on the descriptions and their emotions, Good job and keep up the good work.
| kikofreako chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
Ah! -dies of happiness- I was really excited when I saw the new story notification in my inbox... and for good reason! This is fantastic. You take what could be seen as cliche description and elevate it so high as to become almost etheral, otherwordly. It's a truly unique writing style I love to read... and the fact that it's Clereith, my OTP, is icing on the cake.
| NinjaSheik chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
AWESOME! BELIEVE IT!
| Endings Matter Most chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
That was adorable. I'm such a sucker for some good CloudAerith! It's such an amazing pairing and you write it beautifully and just... perfectly. xDD
| pinkpower chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
Shame about that coffee mug (lol.) Great as always, and the imagery was top notch, and if I'm honest, that's the heart of any of your stories. (That's a compliment.) Beautiful!
| The Great Naxa chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
My Kairi darling I absolutely loved this. I really really really did. Such a wonderful and beautiful gift you have given me! You gave me my first gift too. 3
Gosh, This is was so sweet. Poor Leon, he knew who it was!
But Cloud came back just like he said, and omg, it was so cute. He was so embarased and awkward-aaww it was so udderly sweet! My goodness I loved this! When Aerith was going for the door and Leon tensed I KNEW who it was and seriously I was saying, "omg omg omg" LOL
I loved this beyond belief! thank you so much for the gift! You gave me my love Clorith 3 and I loved the ending and well all of it! I am smiling like a mad woman!
Thank you so 3
Love you 3