Reviews for Monsters Within
makeup addict004 chapter 37 . 10/22/2009
Loved it! The scene with Beach Head explaining why he was pushing Snakes so hard was great. He make it clear that he was pushing him to get him back in top shape. Snakes was suprised that it wasn't personal and that he was doing it to help him. My romantic side was a happy camper with Scarlett and Snakes. :) I didn't know Mr. Fierce Bad Ninja was ticklish! Ripcord and the bike comment: Ninja Bike: Fabulous!

Okay this story is finished; post a new one soon!
Earwen Svit-kona chapter 36 . 10/22/2009


I wish I knew about the 'rutebega' just so you would write more )

Can't wait for the epilogue!
zenbon zakura chapter 36 . 10/21/2009
poor snakes!

too bad there is no way to reconstruct vocal cords!

poor snakes!


epolouge! make sure its really long and has lots of comical parts in it! and storm shadow too!
Karama9 chapter 36 . 10/21/2009
Wonderful semi-ending. I'm glad Snake Eyes is working through some stuff, if a bit surprised at the amount of progress he's already made. I guess Hawk's little lecture had a lot of effect on him.

It's funny you got in there that he thinks his voice was taken away as some kind of divine punishment. I had the same idea, and even squeezed it in earlier in my own story.

I usually like Snake Eyes to retain some mystery, but every now and then comes a story that manages to get inside his head without ruining him. Yours did that perfectly. Thanks so much for the good times. Looking forward to the epilogue!

...And I don't have a clue about that rutabaga thing. People used to clean wood floors with cork (or to be more precise, I saw it done in a historical novel once), I don't suppose that's what you mean?
PhantomEmpress chapter 36 . 10/21/2009
beautiful ending... and the Cleaning with rando veggie comes from GI joe Front line (I think)... where Beachhead orders a greenshirt to clean the litrine with a potato.
AtlantisGirl12 chapter 36 . 10/21/2009
The end of this chapter was so sweet and sad! :) I can't believe this story is almost over! I'm feeling melancholy. :(
Frankizzle chapter 35 . 10/21/2009
Yes, Snake Eyes, you did indeed just completely trash half of the best soldiers in the world. Well done.

Another great chapter, but WHY is it drawing to an end? WHY?
Storyseekr chapter 35 . 10/21/2009
This is a perfect display of Snake Eyes’ shortcomings.

He’s a workaholic and a perfectionist and remarkably superstitious. In the absence of a family to divide and temper his energies, he has thrown all into being not only the best he can be at his job -proof he follows the military party line even down to the recruiting slogans. But that eventually wasn’t enough, and he had to do even better by becoming the best over everyone else. Why? When he was the best only /he/ could be it wasn’t enough because his personal albatross of perceived bad luck made it so almost everyone he cared about died around him. He was prime for a little Eastern cult mysticism and indoctrination in the form of a secret ninja clan and the best recruitment poster they could offer: A buddy who could literally dodge bullets to save Snake Eyes, even though he was supposed to be tracer bait. Wow, probably said he, if I could dodge bullets, I could protect the world from my bad luck! If that’s not motivation to better yourself to protect others…?

(Stray little funny I thought: In another life, if he weren’t a warrior or army guy, I’m sure Snake Eyes would have ended up as a Hare Krishna handing out pamphlets and flowers at the airport.)

Anyway, the problem is, a perfectionist workaholic is never as good as they think they should be even though they know they are better than those around them. A nice bit of insecurity and hubris that is sure to bite one in the butt eventually, and you have explored that beautifully in this story-Especially in this last chapter where his teammates awesomely call him to task for his flawed arrogance and gang up on him to redirect his imploding thinking.
Asterisk78 chapter 35 . 10/20/2009
I've been ghosting for far too long on this story, so I think it's more than time to leave a review.

As usual, I love your action scenes: you've got great narrative pacing, and the imagery is superb. Also, I really enjoy your inclusion of characters that other writers seem to ignore, like Ripcord, Shipwreck, and Tunnel Rat. Finally, your characterizations of all the characters are remarkably sympathetic and three dimensional. I appreciate it; it can be hard to come by in fanfiction.

My only suggestion thus far is that the middle part - the bit between when Snakes is brought back to the Joes and when he finally reveals what happens - seemed a bit slow. Perhaps it was just me and my lack of patience, but it seemed to me that Snake Eyes's self-loathing has been a little over-emphasized. Just a suggestion, of course.

Anyway, it was awesome as usual, and I look forward to your next update.

zenbon zakura chapter 35 . 10/20/2009
poor tunnel rat

yeah he was totally mauled as comic relief


yayie! snakes finally sees the whole picture?

i have a feeling he will do something to the general foryths


where's scarlet?

KP duty? i have a feelig he wont be going back to duty till a month and a half of it

ripcord maybe 2 months lol

hurry update!
makeup addict004 chapter 35 . 10/20/2009

At first I didn't want to read this story due to the dark nature you mentioned in the summary. Decided to take a peek, only a peek, and I decided I would only read the first chapter or so. Ended up reading 24 chapters in one sitting! It's been a great story with lots of action and emotion.

I wondered if Scarlett had been there when Snake Eyes lost it, would he have "seen" her and stopped or would he had lashed out at her? I think if she was there and was injured, he would have killed himself instead of giving Hawk the opportunity.

Snake Eyes agreed to not go after Forsyth, but Scarlett might!

Can't wait for more chapters! Great job!
Faye Kinitt chapter 35 . 10/20/2009
another excellent chapter. and you got in a duke speech so extra points( and its not as boring as he usual is ).

poor old snake eyes now he knows the truth but he obviously holds alot of guilt/ shame about himself in general , thinking he is pretty much born to kill people. but his struggle with balancing is life is one of the things that makes him a great character.

i forgot to mention it in an earlier chapter but i loved that snake saw the picket fence and neat garden as a safe place , it reminds us all that he wasnt born a ninja and that he grow up a normal americian kid.

cant wait to see how he get on in the next chapter , will the full story be given to the joes ? or will it be kept secret? and whats going to the badies ?
Psyk2 chapter 35 . 10/20/2009
Great job tying everything together. I'm really enjoying this story.
Loki21 chapter 35 . 10/20/2009
WOW! Sorry for not having commented before, I just read the last two updates! WOW again! I must say, that I'm glad you didn't make SE just take it like "Ah, so, it was a set-up, I'm fine!" and go away happy. I liked that other Joes, Duke for one, questioned his need to be guilty no matter what. It made a lot of sense that SE would resist forgiving himself so fast. But yeah, did he really? I can't wait for the next! Thanks for writing it... I hope we'll see Forsyth and Gance get what they rightfully deserve!
AtlantisGirl12 chapter 35 . 10/20/2009 not ready for this story to end, though I'm glad Snake Eyes is finally getting back to normal. :)
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