|Reviews for Breath Before the Pain|
| I luv u chapter 1 . 1/11/2010
OMG! Plz keep writing! I luv this!
| Magic chapter 1 . 9/25/2009
| Daichi75 chapter 1 . 9/20/2009
Gah, aweshome fic, buddy~! :D Uli likes~
but since you described what she was doing to the doll to me in person and not just based on the fic, i think i understood it alot more than i would have without your explination (you know how retarded i am, lol). but yeah, i love one sided love (though i hope it won't happen to me do you think karma would do that to me!) but yeah, anywayz, you should totally win this contest, and i wish you the best of luck~!
| Anynymys1 chapter 1 . 9/19/2009
Aww! Thanks for putting your story in! I enjoyed it. You really caught the childish side of Kiyone in love. And like a child she didn't handle it too well! Oh, well! Luckies with your entry!
| gloaming grove chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
I read your post in Writer's Angst; here's what I thought:
The italicized statements required some thought at first but they are very effective. It is short but you have said everything that needed to be said, why write more just to make the story longer? You suggest more than describe the actions and emotions, and yet it is not at all confusing. That takes thought and skill. I find your writing impressive, regardless of your age!
Oh, and I disagree with the review about the lack of emotion. Her behavior more than demonstrates her feelings.
| Autumn's Effervescence chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
This was kind of sad - but I liked it!
Having an unrequited angst fic was different - and it was fun to read, really. It was nice to read - thanks!
| clefsphere chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
whoa ... that is very interesting. there wasnt to much of any emotion, which is good beacause your not a good writer if you cant balance the emotion. she did excellent , the face ripping out of the doll was unexpected but made sense. you can feel the envy flow thru this story. i give it 10/0! i expect to see more!
| lulucute chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
... such a bitter sweet symphony of emotions...
| Kristine93 chapter 1 . 9/16/2009
Hey, lili! I like your story, it's very touching and deep! And I can feel Kiyone's anger and pain radiating right through the PC screen. Short, but wonderful nevertheless. I'm sure it'll be appreciated. So don't worry, okay?
| Dior Crystal chapter 1 . 9/15/2009
i see that you've changed your fic idea again? :O
it may be short but it is well written
i can understand what kiyone is going through
*went through the same thing before XD*
PS: its okay kiyone, i wld want to tear unohana's face off too! XD
good luck for the contest, lili! *hugs* X3