|Reviews for Patterns of Love|
| 7ZpqQ chapter 1 . 9/2/2018
| Naru Naru Naruru chapter 1 . 5/19/2017
Thank you for making great story, I'm big fan of all of your works :)
| Gateman chapter 2 . 7/20/2016
So, I watched Nanana's Buried Treasure (Japan's try at The Goonies, they failed, but was a good effort) and thought of you. Then I realized that you're on another level entirely after reading this.
Six years is a short time considering how long ago it seems. It's a different world now.
| Guest chapter 16 . 4/10/2014
Type your review for this chapter here...
| Gateman chapter 14 . 6/15/2013
But it was worth it, to see Yoshino looking back at her with that disturbingly unerring stare, and to see her crack occasional hints of a smile at her bad voice acting, some of the more humorous lines in the story, and also at plenty of lines which weren't humorous all, which was rather strange.
Weren't humorous at all,
The backstory you created here is engaging and well written. part of me wants to say 'non-canon!', but Yoshino's depiction in the anime isn't consistent, so you have some free reign to throw in your own interpretation. You do a good job of weaving it into the rest of your story. On some level I'm annoyed that it's better written than the anime since now my head-canon conflicts with the show. *insert hypocritical joke here*
| Gateman chapter 13 . 6/4/2013
"Excuse me for a moment," she said, suddenly, rising from her chair and leaving the room with a series of incisive.
Did you mean something different or after 'incisive'?
"Explains a lot, doesn't it?" his mother asked, addressing Touma. "There's the reason I liked you so much, why I always so nice to you."
You're missing a 'was'
Nice touch with the acoustics.
"I'm just saying she's been in there at least twice as long as anyone else," he complained. "What could possibly be taking so long?"
"Plenty of things," Chiaki said, "You know, depending on the moon, the temperature, the humidity…"
Theres no proper way to continue a conversation after that, then again, they are aren't standard concerns.
She wasn't explicitly afraid of water, just highly reluctant to go beyond a certain depth because of her lack swimming skills. Thus, it was a relatively simple matter to enter the water. It was what came after that was the problem.
I think you meant 'her lack of swimming skills'
Yoshino really likes tweaking Uchida. I don't remember that from the show itself.
| Gateman chapter 12 . 6/4/2013
"I guess you weren't there," he said, struggling to explain, trying to keep his voice down. "Several times, I've been absolutely certain she knows who Mako-chan is, and I was read to tell her to stop messing with me. But always, immediately afterward, she does something that makes it impossible for me to think she knows. It's terribly confusing."
Was ready to
This was an awkward and heartwarming chapter
| Gateman chapter 11 . 6/4/2013
"You wormed yourself in the backdoor, you bastard," smiling again that strange smile of hers. "I made myself sound so awesome, didn't? Well, it's a pretty good question, why I care so much about Mako-chan. I thought it was only because I cared about you, but it's also—"
Awesome, didn't I?
"I was not wrong," she said, looking down. "But I forgot that love is not exclusive, whatever the romance novels say. Monomaniacal, yes, but we love our families, our friends, just in different ways. And should things change just a little, if one is just a little careless, then things may change flavors."
It wasn't perfectly expressed, but it was one of the most poetic things he had ever heard her say.
Those two lines go together well, with them together they make the scene rather than break it.
I'm not sure whether Yoshino was really surprised at makoto, or that he admitted it.
Also she seems old for her age.
Yeah, you have been mixing up the pronouns for makoto. I thought that it was just your brand of black comedy though.
| Gateman chapter 8 . 6/4/2013
" There was, of course, a positive side, in more regular gifts and well-intentioned, useless offers to help with her homework. However, the constant watching, the sudden attempts to make her go home earlier, the request that she stop acting so boyish, the brother who suddenly started attending her soccer games...it felt oppressive to her. It grated on her. "(Chapter2)
It seems odd that if Natsuki is attending Touma's games regularly that he wouldn't plan to attend her title match.
| Gateman chapter 6 . 6/4/2013
Ah, yes; the Curb Your Enthusiasm chapter...I'd compare it to The Full Monty instead, but the tone of that movie was self-improvement rather than self-harm.
Touma would never admit it, but he suspected that she wanted him there for moral support.
Read: metaphorical punching bag
Ahh, I can't believe I slipped again! I had her! Uchida despaired.
"Yu—" Yoshino began.
"—as a rival! And that's the essence of the Cup Yakisoba Phenomenon!" Uchida said, not giving her a chance to speak. "Different things in different situations!"
Should Yoshino be saying Uc- instead? Nvm, you never established that her name was...Yuka Uchida?
I'm having a hard time getting a read on Yoshino here.
"You see that girl?" Hitomi said, pointing down the hallway, the two of them crouched behind a corner. That's Minami Haruka-senpai. She's the Banchou I've been telling you about."
He just stared for a moment. She looked interesting…
"Hello? You there, Natsuki?"
She waved a hand in his face.
"Ah, well, uh…she doesn't like a Banchou. At all."
I think you meant 'act like' or 'seem like' in the last line.
You make Hosaka look somewhat respectable in your stories...somehow.
| Gateman chapter 5 . 6/4/2013
"Yes, I'm alone. But who is 'they'? What are you talking about?"
He was getting frustrated with his inability to understand this conversation, and its inability to get to the point.
"Touma and Makoto. You should make sure they're not eavesdropping."
"Touma and Makoto. You should make sure they're not eavesdropping."
"They're not here," he said.
"What are you talking about?" the woman asked. "Of course they're there. He's visiting, isn't he?"
You repeat yourself here.
Your Kana is a great character. Like seasons 3 and 4 but more consistent.
The talk about cellphones brings me back to my own high school days.
| Gateman chapter 3 . 6/3/2013
I like how you make Natsuki more thoughtful than in canon.
You write drunk people very well.
Also, how long have you been planning Breaking the Cycle?
I think the story suffers for its shout-outs to canon. Not much, and sometimes it benefits (like the absurd essay) but mostly it suffers when the context doesn't match up.
| Gateman chapter 1 . 6/3/2013
" Makoto scratched behind his ear. It wasn't summer, but something had decided to bite him anyway.
"Oh no. This is not happening," she said despairingly. "It is not starting to rain."
"Oh no. This is not happening. It is not starting to rain." "
Is the repetition intentional?
Btw, you write Hosaka rather well, though you should tone down the creepiness? Or something? I guess it works.
| Ramiel Salbazier chapter 13 . 3/20/2013
Well, quite a heavy story. It was not something I really expect when I start reading. Good job.
| Mader Levap chapter 16 . 3/14/2013
Wow, that was... intense drama. Pretty good read. It is rare to encounter fanfic that holds you to 4 am.