|Reviews for Red Bows In Her Hair|
| A Faggot chapter 4 . 7/20
Good job making Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito not garbage. The backstory you made and your interpretation of the ending dealt with most of my gripes against the series (except the Mary Sue sword powers, but what can ever explain that?).
The thing I disliked most about Yamibou was that Hazuki's entire character was built around her obsession with Hatsumi. While you didn't change that (and how can you, without being unfaithful to the source material? That is perhaps the chief sin of fanfiction) aspect, you did attempt to justify it, and that's satisfactory at the very least.
Excellent interpretation of the ending as well. I'm pretty sure 90% of the people that watched the show was confused by Hazuki's ending and did not think it through to make sense of it like you did. You explained the ending with such clarity that even hose who did not watch Yamibou can appreciate it (as evidenced by all those reviews).
I love how you added extra dialogue (that is, dialogue that did not appear in the show). That, combined with the usage of side characters just makes this story feel so organic, so right (for lack of a better word). Very good work.
| Spikesagitta chapter 4 . 9/9/2014
Remind me again why Hazuki doesn't have a harem of girls? :p
Still happy ending is good! Damn that anime had one of the worse and most depressing ending ever..
| DrYuriMom chapter 3 . 11/21/2012
I'll share more in PM, but I'm one of those readers theoretically hampered by familiarity with only one of the properties involved. That said, you did a very good job filling in the blanks regarding 'Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito' and I really didn't feel I missed anything for my ignorance. Given how fanfic writers so often assume far too much regarding the background and imagery, ceding it all to readers' recollection of the source material, I found your diligent approach immediately refreshing. It was the first of many such pleasant moments.
I am a fan of secondary characters. In the case of SP!, Kizuna and Remon are very special to me. I was immediately drawn in by how you seamlessly utilized the Transformation Club to integrate Hazuki and Lillith into the Astraea environs. It was perfect, as was the use of those two to get Lillith conveniently out of the way so to allow the developments between Chikaru and Hazuki. How you then used this to close the loop later, and lighten the mood when Lillith was reintroduced, was priceless. On a personal level, I appreciate the reminder of what those two are about. Things in my own story are getting intense surrounding them and are soon to get more so, and I really do need to draw things back to their roots for a bit sometime soon. Hmm...
I noticed several hooks for future development. The dynamics between Tamao and Hazuki as well as Kagome-chan. Oh Kagome-chan. She along with Shion, well and of course Momomi and Kaname, are my favorite blank slates for SP! monumental development. It sounds from the descriptions of the stories to come that you feel similarly. Sounds like I have quite the adventure ahead of me. :-)
The development of understanding between Hazuki and Chikaru was masterful. You breathe life into the process by perfectly pegging Chikaru's demeanor from the anime and using it to bring the story along in a well-paced manner. Not too fast, not too slow. Just right. The Chapter two and much of Chapter three passed with little awareness of time for me. Even better was how you fleshed out the source material potentially foreign to a SP! audience (like with me). At no point did I feel bereft of a frame of reference, nor did I ever feel you were overly didactic in describing the missing pieces. It all flowed seamless in a manner more reminiscent of an original story than a fanfic. Such things generally don't work for those unfamiliar with crossover material, but it did here and you should be proud of that.
Even something as obscure to a non-initiate as "souma" made sense by the end of it, without you ever having a character go into a fit of internal or dialog exposition. Just through its usage in this story, I have a pretty solid sense of what it means. I asked my wife, who has seen the show, if I had it right and got a gold star based on nothing more than these four chapters. *hands gold star to author since that's who deserves it*
Honestly, although being 225,000 words into my own SP! fiction I certainly can't claim ignorance of the SP! universe, I'd suggest this story would make perfect sense to someone unfamiliar with both properties. Your claim that such a reader must be 'brave indeed' I'd suggest isn't the case. It's a cute disclaimer, though. :-) So yeah, I also dispute your A/N at the end of Ch 3. Because of your descriptive writing, this story needn't be assumed to have a limited audience. At least that's my $0.02.
All this said, I am curious what you would suggest to a reader standing on the shoreline that is this prelude, preparing to strike out into the promising seas that are your Yamiberry stories. Should I watch Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito before I do another 200,000 word marathon like I did last weekend with Gravity of Love, or should I embrace the unknown and devour it ignorant of the source material save what you parse out in the course of your story? You tell me, and by extension anyone else like me who comes to your tapestry now.
| yurimylove chapter 1 . 11/17/2011
What an amazing cross-over story! Two of my favorite anime series, combined seamlessly for an entertaining read. Humorous at times (especially parts with "Ririsu-chan"), touching at others (like when describing Eve's life with Chikaru as her sister Naoko), and positively heartwrenching when it comes to Hazuki's despair at her love lost. A well-written story that's engrossing to read!
This is the BEST interpretation (or perhaps slight re-interpretation) of the garbled Yamibou ending I've ever read. I simply LOVE it! I know there are some who feel that Eve is "not nice" towards Hazuki in the original ending. But like you, I've always believed that Eve has done the best of what she possibly could for Hazuki in the end, and certainly with the best of intentions. Anything less would simply not agree with the gentle and loving person/being that she's always been in all the worlds she's visited. However, I've never had the clarity of what exactly happened in the end until I read this fanfic. Wonderful! Although... I couldn've sworn that some choking was involved there... oh well must've been my imagination _; (hahaha that was a joke)
I must say that is a very clever plot device to have Hazuki ending up in the Strawberry Panic book. It doesn't contradict the canon in that she never returned to her original, heart-broken world, and yet at the same time allows you to continue her adventures in the sequel story which I'm looking forward to reading next. Hmmm, "books that are in the same series" eh? I bet that series is titled - "Japanese Hentai Visual Novels" XD (haha, joke again) All in all, I've greatly enjoyed reading this story so many thanks to the author for writing and sharing with us!
| Ba dum tas ajsjdnxk chapter 1 . 9/7/2011
O.O Interesting crossover :DDDD Loving the story so far x3
| migele chapter 4 . 6/1/2011
Well interesting Choice here.
Good interactions too.
Hazuki was written in a realistic way, the Strawberry panic cast was used well.
In the Sekirei cross I'm planning on making Chiho (Uzume's Ashikabi) a broken Eve, somehow she didn't disapear, but a terminally ill shell remained. I had the souma reconnection idea too. In my case Hazuki reconnects Chiho, making her healthy again, and causing mass confusion since them kissing causes flashes, that everyone interprets as Hazuki winging Chiho.
back to your story, following Naoko's footsteps was an interesting choice for Chikaru.
more next story.
ja ne migi
| shanejayell chapter 4 . 5/3/2010
I'm quite impressed.
| KajimeShiru chapter 4 . 2/16/2010
Okay I give up! Awesome, though I read them in reverse order I must say Ka-Bong! You'd better finish that third story and may you find a fourth by the time you finish the third.. great series..
Actually you tied these two together so well its almost like it is truly its own story where universes have collided to become one to itself..
I believe you kept the flavor of both well making it your own, no disrespect to the original Author's, I'm just say from my point of view I'd pay to read this.
Personally you did a great job that needs little or nothing to improve it!
And I'm not a nitpicker Somehow I think you actually improved my view of YtBtHnT! to the point I'll watch it again with a new mind..
| No Make Girl chapter 2 . 10/27/2009
I had to say it... After reading chapter 1, I completely agree. Hazuki and Chikaru are AWESOME! :D
| Master Kosa chapter 4 . 10/26/2009
Awesome. It was wild bet to hope that this story would be at least good, however my expectations have been left in dust far behind. To tell the truth Yami... anime was failure, unsatisfying at least. Somehow I actually believe your story more than original. At least I want to believe.
And thanks for featuring one of the most amazing characters from SP, Chikaru-sama.
For now let's read sequel.
| ninemil chapter 4 . 10/10/2009
Brief History of Time omg lol :p But that’s soo Kagome :D
"Friends or Kissing Friends" - this I like very much because despite considering the matter on many occasions, I've yet to personally decide the true dynamic of the two Lulim juniors in my own work, or their perception of how things work between them. I think this phrase captures that perfectly tho, and in a sense I can see it helping me settle my own interpretation of what goes between them. Innocent, cute, but ultimately admittal.
The end brought a smile, but let’s be proper about this first eh? :p
So again the construction makes sense and works well. There’s none of the usual ‘sweep everything the author ever did under the carpet’ bullshit that gets my goat so much elsewhere, and the mechanism and ending you’ve given is both respectful and fair. I like the implications of your changes, both for Hazuki’s potential new life, but also for Chikaru’s own development, as previously I couldn’t see anyone living up to the expectations that being Chikaru’s partner would require, (other than Kagome who is far too young despite her awesomeness.) But now it’s out there, and you’ve left the concept dangling succulently.
You’ve also not succumbed to the pressing need to spell everything out, nor have you left our heroine in a state of non-committal vagueness due to a lack of conviction when applying your deviation. You’ve cut and cropped effectively, inserting your own work smoothly and without jarring transitions, tying it all up with the same sentiment that we saw in the anime, but without the slit-your-wrists variation. It’s a brilliant finish, all very well rounded, thought-provoking and dreamy. I’d be tempted to play with continuation from here myself you know :p (Right back at you with the comments from our private messages…)
On a note of personal significance to me, given my own subject matter and writing style: the scene between Hazuki and Eve was nigh on perfect, with nothing to wish for and a certain elegance in the balance between suggestion and actual narrative; it oozed with the tenderness and reconciliation without suffocating the reader’s mind with overbearing detail, something so many who part-take in our hobby could learn from. Bravo :D (I *have* to see more from you in this genre…)
Which I guess leaves us with the ultimate question of; will you leave it there? ;) Even if it takes a year’s pondering and contemplation, I strongly urge you to come back and revisit this setup at some point. I want into Hazuki’s head, and I’m desperate to see Chikaru begin a relationship with an author of your calibre controlling the narrative. You showed on numerous times in this chapter just how beautifully you can layer your descriptive and how well thought out you can construct your plot mechanisms… there’s no way you can bugger off now and leave it at that after teasing us with this first flirtatious debut…
| World of Dragons Productions chapter 4 . 10/7/2009
My friend you have certainly written something unique here. I've been reading the later half of this story to some of Yamibou's soundtrack (which has some beautiful scores if you know where to look). I'm also glad to see some more fandom for that show-let alone one that's coherent.
Anyway, I found the ending somewhat interesting and I'm disappointed that Lilith would step in the way of Hatsumi/Eve's plan to come to Hazuki. But then again quite a few people did have a problem with that plan itself.
If you want my two cents, I think it's a little clever: In order for Eve to enter a world without the hat, she has to be 'born' into it. So, by using Hazuki as a vessel she can not only come back to her, but be with her for the full sixteen year limit. People would say that being Hazuki's daughter would spoil the relationship, but only if either of them see it as mother & daughter rather than two lovers.
I also wrote something like this that's now part of a discontinued project. I can send it to you if you want, but expect something a little weird
| EmperorOfLemurs chapter 4 . 10/6/2009
Horray you de-stupefied the ending without actually changing things too much.
Seriously, thanks for letting her keep her memories. That makes everything alright now. Good job on the character development and the fic in general, and thank you for the ending. Seriously.
| Lewy chapter 4 . 10/5/2009
I can see that my expectations were quite met with the conclusion.
I would be lying to say that I found this chapter to be an uninteresting experience. While you did state that you would be borrowing heavily from the dialogue of the actual anime, I myself have never seen this anime. This created a rather strange, but enjoyable effect. With having absolutely no centre between fanon and canon, it felt like a different experience entirely, not a fanfic, but not a canoical story either.
I've come to the decision that this will change.
It would seem that all the good fics give me something outside of the authours world, ranging from seeing Shizuma rather than Christopher Walken whenever he dances on tables in a music video, songs about a lost love half away around the world, to an anime about humans with invisible vectors. I believe my interest has been piqued enough for me to look into Yami to Boushi to Hon no Tabibito.
It is indeed a downer that Hazuki and Hatsumi lost each other forever, but at least she isn't as alone as she (probably) is in the canonical ending, though I assume she just completely lost the memory of all the events. (And it all was a just a dream...) I also liked how widely you left the ending for continuation. Chikaru's awesomeness influencing people from other worlds? It would be interesting to see her five or ten years from now, which brings me to my last note.
I feel obliged to reiterate my shared sentiment with Ninemil that I hope you choose to stay at the Strawberry Panic section. As one looks at the ever aging Spanic, seeing talented people joining the community is always something to look forward to.
| ninemil chapter 3 . 10/4/2009
And so it slots together.
The idea of Hatsumi playing catalyst to Astrea’s quirks works well, with good explanation for the genesis of Chikaru’s awesomeness also sitting nicely indeed. It’s a sensible, solid premise that makes this cross-over both viable and worthwhile. I was a little dismayed that you didn’t go explicit with Chikaru’s relationship with Hatsumi, as the awkwardness that would have generated between Chikaru and Hazuki and the depth of Hazuki’s emotions regarding the subject might have been interesting to explore. That said, the characterization sits more comfortably with the more innocent Chikaru that not going there generates, and the mummy-figure that results is much more familiar to all. Plus, it seems like you have a fairly short piece in mind, so layering that extra detail would not only have complicated things in terms of length, but also in terms of premise if the animosity that this dimension could create were to throw into question the viability of the two travellers remaining on campus. Like I said, a little dismayed, but correct within the premise and the confines of characterization and structure.
I note that Chikaru sidesteps Hazuki’s deeper questions about Astrea. I wonder why that was? She’s usually one to share given her broader understanding of the world? Perhaps something for the final chapter?
The angel analogy was cute; again, very Chikaru :p
Looking forward to the final installment, if nothing more than to see if this encounter impacts on any Hazuki/Eve interactions that might take place; I wonder if Hazuki will walk away feeling anymore at ease with herself, or just as nonchalant as ever? Surely if Eve can inspire an entire institute into understanding its collective sexuality, she can do the same for her suitor as well?
I’ll also be somewhat dismayed if completing this marks the end of your little foray into our world upon Astrea Hill… You mentioned being fairly new to anime before; if you are moving on, nudge me if you’d like some recommendations on following source material to scour. I have a rather vast collection, there’s bound to be something that suits in there somewhere :p