|Reviews for Prayers to Broken Stone|
| Glenstorm63 chapter 1 . 4/2/2016
I like the attention to the accelerated breakdown of released time. The stasis of Charn when the kids arrive in TMN is definitely in need of release, but the presence of rain is interesting... not sure it is necessary but it adds an unexpected dimension. I assume the dull red sun has now set, hence it not visible and that The Watcher is the moon? Maybe it might have been appropriate to have described it in terms of the light of the sun it was reflecting, perhaps something a little like what we get when the full moon is eclipsed by the shadow of the earth, is that a blood moon?
| Sophia the Scribe chapter 1 . 9/30/2015
This is what Aslan wanted us to consider when he gave our world the warning of Charn. Thank you for recalling it to my mind.
| Frodo's sister chapter 1 . 4/25/2014
Good description of a dead world.
| Heliopause chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
What worked for me especially was the astronomy - the sun gone, the Watcher remaining, the "clockwork march" - and thus the sense of time, or maybe Time. One of those. :)
I think the swipe at Digory and Polly was a bit rough (they could hardly have realised the implications of what they were seeing - and the one part of Charn that went with them WAS still capable of life and choice, and therefore growth and redemption), though memento mori to the rest of the worlds is fair.
| zeonista13 chapter 1 . 5/15/2013
I like this one, if only because I was also struck by the description of Charn. "Charn", as in "charnal"... It was one of those few cases where I thought C.S. Lewis had been paying to his friend JRR Tolkien's writings & musings. Charn, I felt, had overtones of Numenor in being a beautiful, civilized kingdom that destroyed itself utterly, from within. I raided Charn twice for RPG scenarios, and both times they were effective. I think you got some of that feeling too.
| Slayergirl chapter 1 . 2/5/2013
| finallyexploded chapter 1 . 1/3/2013
Please note that this you-based fic is in violation. I suggest that you delete this, and upload on a different website.
Thank you for your time.
Entries not allowed:
5. Any form of interactive entry: choose your adventure, second person/you based, Q&As, and etc.
Member of Eliminator
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/27/2012
This sent chills up my spine. It is powerful indeed. I wish I could describe it accurately, but I can never do it justice. It's beyond my ability completely.
| chocolatetomato chapter 1 . 10/14/2011
I really liked this. You captured the bittersweet desolation of the dystopian Charn. I also liked the way you haven't rambled on.
The opening sentence was well done as it grabs the readers attention, and it's rather foreboding, which sets the tone for the rest of the piece nicely.
I sort of like the bit at the about Digory and Polly, but I'm not sure if the phrase "entropy triumphant" was the best, or even if it got across what you were trying to say.
But, hey, all in all I liked this short story. It's original. Keep it up as this is one of the best fics I've read. :D
| deletedd0621 chapter 1 . 9/21/2011
How...impacting. The hints C. S. Lewis gave us of Charn and Jadis burned themselves into my mind, even though I distracted myself with the rest of his masterpiece. Charn's story frightened me; it was so horrific and permanently broken. Charn was forgotten, and shouldn't the characters have remembered her and tried to guard against Narnia becoming like her? I'm in a weird mood, sorry, but this was just brilliant. Brilliant imagery and tone and a different point of view that strengthened the whole piece and wrapped it up in a rather morbid little package. It feels...right. I'm still not managing to get my point across, still not managing to communicate just how...horrifyingly awesome this piece was, so I'll stop rambling here. Thank you for sharing it.
| kittenxxkisses chapter 1 . 10/4/2010
Wow, the ending is so dark and dreary, but it ties of the story very well as it relates to the reader
An interesting take on Charn, one that I enjoyed very much
| excessivelyperky chapter 1 . 2/7/2010
And yet, the Emperor Beyond the Sea mourns for Charn, as well.
| mokatster chapter 1 . 10/15/2009
Wow, this was chilling. I really liked how you addressed the reader toward the end, telling him to touch the stones, to remember Charn.
I do have a question about the last line, though. Are you referring to the reader's death, or to the death of the reader's world? Or was this meant to be ambiguous?
Thanks for sharing! I hope to see more from you. :)
| Drake-Azathoth chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Very nice! Normally I find shorter stories less satisfying, but this is brilliant. The way you illustrate the absolute devastation of entropy's final victory over life and yet remind the reader that Charn COULD have been saved even after Jadis' spell if someone had intervened is very satisfying.
| Eternally Seventeen chapter 1 . 9/23/2009
Oh, wow. That was simply amazing! Well-written. Keep it up! :)