|Reviews for Embers|
| SeijuroRen chapter 91 . 3/14
Epic. Didn't finish until now, but I've been reading for like a year or more now. Kind of abrupt ending, although I don't know what you think about epilogues I feel it could have used one a bit farther in the future.
| Waywardneko chapter 1 . 18h ago
Ok, I have read this story twice. It is easily one of the best fan fiction pieces I have ever read. It is beautiful and has LOGIC. It covers plotholes, and even better, Azula gets some redeeming! :3
Thank You for posting and completing this story, it is a wonderful read.
| envysparkler chapter 86 . 3/11
And finally, the last increment!
Some more notes, you have no idea how many more ideas have revealed themselves in the aftermath of this.
Firstly, I want a sequel. I know that you've probably heard this from a lot of people, and I know that just because I want it you're not going to write it. But, you know, just a suggestion. Maybe something about how Zuko finally finds a girl? And Azula finds a consort? After all, we have the aftermath of the war to deal with and let's face it - Zuko and romance? I'll get the popcorn ready.
Also, I wanted to ask your permission to use some of the elements in your story. Said elements being loyalty-breaking, deal-breaking, the Way, family-breaking, dragons, great-names and healing. I have a plot bunny for a story about a Water Tribe Avatar before Aang, called 'a matter of perspective'. It deals with the male-oriented Northern Water Tribe, and a female Avatar, who wants to learn combat bending. She realizes that the council only wants her to learn the different healing forms of the various elements and runs away. With her best friend, a non-bender, in tow. And she's sixteen. Oh - and the Water Tribe's method of getting her back - call on the Great Spirits. Which means Tui and La, but they're stuck in their mortal forms, so they, in turn, call on Koh.
And everything goes downhill from there.
It has to do a lot more with spirits and Koh being a good guy. Well, not good, persay, but tolerable. He wants what's best for the world. And he wants the Avatar to go back home, even if he has to use spirits to chew off her legs before he can get it into her head.
Of course, I can write this story without dragons and great-names and the different ways you can disconnect with your element. But it would be nice to include them. Don't worry, if you give me permission, I will credit you. I had the inspiration from Embers, anyway. And there are a lot of things that are different - a major example is that Koh wasn't always a face-stealing centipede. And this story is how he became one. Well, the centipede anyway, he was always face-stealing.
Anyway, thank you for this incredible story. I loved every line of it and it's given birth to more plot bunnies than I can count. Though I'm not thanking you for that. Plot bunnies are evil, especially when you're supposed to be studying for final exams.
And sequel, please? /lion-puppy eyes/
Oh, and I don't know whether you've seen it before in an anonymous review [my account wasn't cooperating] but I've made a trailer for Embers.
Here's the link, remove the spaces.
w ww . youtube watch?v dcy88XQ03R8
Or, just type 'embers fan trailer' into the youtube search box. It's the first entry. The account name is 'insanity rider'.
| envysparkler chapter 87 . 3/11
Review nombre cinq!
Chapter seventy-seven. Wow. Katara's anger is really, really spooky before you figure out what's causing it. And reading it again, even when you know what's happening, when every cell in your body ignores reason, ignores the fact that they're fictional characters in a fanfiction and starts screaming at Zuko to run away...well, then it just descends into Nightmare Fuel. There usually comes a point with most stories, especially horror, when you want to yell at the main character to get away. Only you can't, because obviously, they're not real. But your mind doesn't want to realize that, and you're just so helpless...I bet most people don't think reading can be traumatizing. They're wrong. And I've heard the name Diamond Dust before...oh. Wow. I've never thought of it that way. Let's just say diamond dust didn't just inspire you, it inspired an anime team as well.
Chapter seventy-eight. Zuko's creating his own mini iceberg. With broken ribs and a concussion and god knows what other injuries that came from falling off a cliff. Or, technically, being thrown off a cliff. And he's fighting a leopard-shark - a creature that's supposed to be extinct. A water spirit-animal, in the middle of the sea against a half-drowned yaoren. I suppose it's a mark of how often this happens that I am really not surprised. Zuko says that it was still not past midnight but there's the line 'past the glint of sun on waves'. So...timeline got messed up? And I thought sea serpents were too much family and no clan/tribe. Like dark dragons were only clan and no family. 'I'm pretty sure there won't be any water spirits to go after you in a volcano.' You - you actually like doing that, don't you? Giving them a sense of comfort before collapsing the walls around them and leaving them with 'why the hell did I say that out loud?'. No water-spirits in a volcano. Even the first time I read this, before I knew what was happening, I still knew enough that if you ended the chapter like that...well, there was definitely going to be a water-spirit in that volcano. And people thought kelp had to grow in cold water? I think kelp, I think Bahamas. Not cold water.
Chapter seventy-nine. Close to the end! Finally. It's not like I don't love reading your story again, but remembering all the details I wanted to review from the first four times is irritating. Especially when I have exams for the next three weeks. But enough of that - back to reviewing. Correct me if I'm wrong, but...Flame is a Water Tribe name? The utter fuck. Zuko asked 'who's Hama?' when we've already read that Sokka explained it to him. Continuity mess.
Chapter eighty. Okay, given that I'm in the habit of skimming through paragraphs instead of actually reading, I probably deserved this. But your implications were so vague that the first time I read it, it took Zuko smashing Aang into the wall for me to realize that kanaloa took Aang. And speaking of kanaloa - the name sounds familiar. Where did you get it from? 'Just once, I'd like the Avatar to see how it feels to be blown through a building'. Leaves on fire. Well, it seems like Zuko's fulfilled that wish. 'You have no idea how long I've been waiting to do that.' Actually, Zuko, I think we do. It's nice that you brought back that little piece of information from all the way in the Ba Sing Se arc.
Chapter eighty-one. Aww. Zuko and Azula see each for the first time since the train escape. And they're finally acting like a family. [a twisted, murderous, treasonous family with far too much dragon blood, but hey, it's the thought that counts] Teach spirits to forgive. Every time I think Aang might've learned some common sense, I'm disappointed. Every. Time. One might start to think you had a grudge, or something...
Chapter eighty-two. 'Skeleton accurate size.' I can just imagine the sheer horror that arose when they followed the thought process to its natural conclusion.
Chapter eighty-three. How can people who live on the sea be seasick? Just - ack. I never even understood seasickness in the first place. Why would you get sick from a little swaying? Zuko's pissed off at Uncle - I am too. At the entire White Lotus, in fact. Because if they wanted to save the entire world - what were they doing for the past hundred years? Or thousand, Embers!verse. And Amaya's thoughts made me realize something - this is the third time Zuko's drowned. /winces/ You just don't give him a break, do you? And what big mistake has Zuko been making all along?
Chapter eighty-four. The thing is, I don't understand why Iroh's acting like this. He was nothing but helpful in Ba Sing Se. He believed Zuko when he said that Azula tried to kill him. He obviously cared more about people's lives in Ba Sing Se, or he would've convinced Zuko to take on his sister and free Ba Sing Se. But now he's a manipulative old general. The. Fuck. And Zuko already knows that Iroh was the one that called for help. Yue told him that his uncle asked a question and Zuko's waterbending was the answer. 'Yue said you asked a question, Uncle. Not sure I can live through another answer'. Direct quote. Okay, maybe not direct, my memory isn't that good, but paraphrased. Gah. Why. I actually liked Iroh.
Chapter eighty-five. Just. Gah. I hate Zuko and Iroh fighting. They're supposed to be the good guys. Only, as Aang has hopefully discovered, there can be more than one good side. And what do you do, when good attacks good?
Chapter eighty-six. The Avatar version of The Talk. /snickers/ Oh, poor Suki. And turns my brain to the more...inappropriate implications of words. 'Share a saddle' /winces/ And unfortunate choice of words. Then again, almost anything can sound suggestive if said in the right tone of voice. Only Azula can plot treason but not treason at the same time. 'Someone's reported a man-eating warehouse?' 'Not yet'. You gotta love Azula. She can take something that sounds so silly [how did you come up with man-eating warehouse in the first place?] and make it sound downright malicious.
Chapter eighty-seven. Dirt under the ice. Figures. I was thinking about the North Pole in our terms, not Avatar!verse, where the North Pole is plain ice, whereas the South Pole is ice-covered land. A view only reinforced with the image of the Northern Water Tribe, where everything is build out of ice. But, Avatar!verse is different. Keep forgetting that.
Chapter eighty-eight. The first part of this chapter is really cool. Because it's not written in anyone's point of view, it's like a personal message from the author. You pulled it off really well. And I've always wondered why they called it Sozin's comet. If the comet came every hundred years, someone would've noticed by now. And gave a different name. Then again, Sozin is arrogant enough to destroy all records and name it after himself. Evil Cliffie is evil. You - this was the last chapter I read, when I read it for the first time. I had to wait - for a story I was unaccustomed to waiting for. This wasn't just evil. It was downright cruel. I'm impressed.
Chapter eighty-nine. It's funny. All this time, I've been watching Azula, praying that she wouldn't fall into the depths of insanity that she had last time everyone betrayed her...and I never once thought about how it would affect Ozai. /shakes head/ You're doomed Ozai. Lesson number one - Boomerang always comes back. Ozai's death is really, really vague. You don't outright say it. After I realized that Ozai was dead, I scrutinized those few sentences... Well, let's just keep it at 'it's really vague'. I have to say, you've got the cliffy thing down pat. So take the praise and please, stop tormenting us.
Chapter ninety. The way you've written this is really cool. Zuko against Makoto interspersed with Aang against Koh and Katara against the drowned. Everyone's battles happening at the same time - the ultimate climax to this super long story. Thought it's a mark of how far you've taken this with Koh and Makoto that Ozai's death is pushed aside.
Chapter ninety-one. Finally. FINALLY. This review marathon I set upon [which I've been procrastinating for at least two months] is finally over. Well, except for this last chapter of which all I'm going to say is yay, Zuko and Azula being friendly to each other. I told you, I'm a sucker for when siblings actually act like siblings. And Shirong and Teruko - I might've missed all the other implications and references but this was is too funny. And ohmigod, it took the better part of a WEEK to write this down, along with mental irritation because FFnet review format doesn't support italics. I NEED TO ITALICIZE. I feel like I'm slowly going insane.
| envysparkler chapter 88 . 3/11
Review numero quatro!
Chapter fifty-two. Kuei and Eshe? Adorable. And this version of the Earth King is much better than the one who went off to join the nomads. And the description of Asagitatsu is a bit confusing. Has anyone submitted fanart that shows it? This story takes 'there's no such thing as a coincidence' to new heights. If someone got a paper cut, you'd probably blame it on a spirit.
Chapter fifty-three. The Spirit World not Spirit World thing is confusing me. Where is Zuko, if it's not the Spirit World? Donghai's story... /snickers/ That. Was. Hilarious. You should consider changing the genre to 'Humor'. Langxue. Taunting Koh the Face Stealer. That kid's got guts. And there's a spelling mistake - Daiyu is spelt 'Dayu' in the text. Zuko. Riding a dragon. Riding Makoto. Holy fuck.
Chapter fifty-four. Oh, Aang. Temul was a test. What will you do when you can't fight? Though, thinking on it, Aang has always been more easily captured by people who don't bend.
Chapter fifty-five. Okay, this - Hakoda's sudden reversion to hatred - is irritating. And sudden. And impossible. I mean, how many times does he change his mind about Zuko, anyway?
Chapter fifty-six. Azula. Complaining. Excuse me for a moment while I snicker. And it's really sad that Azula would feel so happy just because Shidan remembered her. And cabbage merchants... /laughs/ Well, there's one explanation for them.
Chapter fifty-seven. Wow. Just - kadzhait. I had also thought of rectifying the animal imbalance between the four elements, but I thought of arctic vipercats. Creatures of the shore, between ice and sea. Still, your idea is good. Though, just wondering - how did the Avatar's animal guide walk on land if it was that huge?
Chapter fifty-eight. And the distinction between humans and spirits. Nice. 'If you will seek human justice or a spirit's revenge.'
Chapter fifty-nine. 'You called Lord Shidan Grandpa.' Toph is the coolest kid ever. Like seriously. That aikido master quote is awesome. Who said it?
Chapter sixty. Aang gets a rude shock - I suppose it must be strange, to someone who's grown up without any rules, that people can make you do things...whereas we learn that as one of our first lessons.
Chapter sixty-one. 'You can lie and lie and never say anything that isn't true'. I loved this quote so much it's on my profile page. 'Don't you ever ask me to care more about your father than I care about mine.' Zuko is pissed. With good reason.
Chapter sixty-two. I loved Zuko's letter to Azula. Sibling caring is always sweet.
Chapter sixty-three. Poor Ty Lee. Her world just crashed down around her. Butterfly. Oh, Aang. /snickers/ Butterfly. I am never going to get over that. I swear. the space-time continuum exists to irritate us. I read in a book somewhere that at midnight, time freezes for an hour, and only a select few people can use that one hour. And they use it for stupid things, like adventuring and getting almost killed and nearly blowing up the world.
Chapter sixty-four. I've never heard peace described that way. That peace is a choice - and that people don't want peace, sometimes. It's a nice alternative. And true. I certainly don't want things to be peaceful - if they were, life would be so boring.
Chapter sixty-five. 'Dad, meet Zuko's little sister.' 'That explains so much.' Hilarious. I spent five minutes cracking up over this. 'What? Kill him for telling the truth? Where do you think we are, court?' /snickers/ I love Azula's wit. The only thing that surpasses it is Zuko's wit and Sokka's sarcasm. Though I haven't seen a lot of the latter lately.
Chapter sixty-six. Azula always calculates for the best plan. Too bad for her that Aang doesn't use smart the way she does.
Chapter sixty-seven. 'The drowned are already dead. What are you going to do? Kill them again?' I spent a whole week parroting this line at anyone who stood still long enough. Suffice to say, I loved it. And that my friends suddenly gained an interest in evasive maneuvers. And Makoto is scary. The last line? Freaked me out.
Chapter sixty-eight. Zuko's threat. 'Or I'm going to have very pointed discussions with your ghosts.' Man, he's got to be the only person who can basically say 'If you don't come back alive, I'm going to kill you' and have everyone terrified. You have no idea how much you scared me. Reading Mai's thoughts, my heart nearly stopped. Because if Ty Lee and Mai betrayed Azula...well, we already know what's going to happen. Then I slumped in relief, cuz, yay, they weren't betraying her! And who cares about Ozai, anyway? But seriously, you almost gave me a heart attack. Which is probably just what you intended.
Chapter sixty-nine. Sleeping Beauty! I'd love to see the Avatar versions of the other fairy tales. Aang, saying 'But - I didn't even know my father' when Shih is right there - oh, the irony.
Chapter seventy. I never drank wine, or tried to pull the cork out, so I don't have the experience to match that simile [oh, the trials of being underage] but I was thinking of another comparison. It's like opening a coke bottle after it's been shaken. If you twist it a little and let the gas escape, it's fine. If you unscrew the whole cap, the coke's going to come out and spill over. And, oh god, Rikiya... /lies on the floor gasping for air/ It doesn't get any less humorous, no matter how many times I read it. 'The rumor you need silver arrows to kill him? Completely false. It's never worked.' 'I first met the boss when - oh. Let me make something perfectly clear. The artworks? I won't lie. They were mine. Very classy. But I was totally innocent of the loaded dice...' Reminds me of Neal Caffrey from White Collar. And it looks like Zuko and I have something in common. And I loved the movie, Rise of the Guardians. What I don't understand is why the first trailer didn't show the main character. At all. I mean, I watched the trailer, then clicked on the movie and nearly fell out of my seat when Jack Frost showed up. The main character. Gah. Trailers are deliberately misleading. I don't trust them anymore.
Chapter seventy-one. I've never quite realized how terrifying heights are to Toph. There's everything she can see - and the rest of the world is a gigantic black hole. 'The fanatic who wished to use war to destroy war.' Because apparently Jet's and Fong's level of craziness wasn't enough for you, you had to invent Xiangchen, who was not only a fanatic, but downright insane. And he won. /shudders/ And wait a minute. You said the Western Air Temple is a few hundred, or a few thousand feet above sea level. You're telling me that Zuko fell a few hundred feet into the water? Falling into water from a height like that would pulverize every bone in your body!
Chapter seventy-two. I know you should drink water, so you aren't dehydrated, but salt kind of nullifies that, doesn't it?
Chapter seventy-three. Azula, playing with dolls. That's adorable. I can see what Zuko's imagining. And it's funny to see Langxue's reaction to the complete lack of tact that is Aang, especially since he was all 'we must serve the Avatar' to Zuko. And yaoren aren't supposed to train the Avatar in the elements. However, I could've sworn that I read that Langxue was planning on Zuko being the Avatar's firebending teacher. That...doesn't make sense. If Langxue knew that yaoren aren't supposed to teach the Avatar bending, then why did he want Zuko to do it? And Aang is such an idiot. /facepalms/ I really don't know why I even expect anything else.
Chapter seventy-four. Well, it seems like everyone's picking on Aang lately. Not that I blame them, he is an idiot and I despise people who refuse to admit they're wrong - who refuse to admit there's even a problem in the first place. But still. Cut the kid a break.
Chapter seventy-five. And about the 'we didn't let you do it' part. I rewatched the episode to get some clips. Katara tried to go after Aang...and was stopped by Iroh. I don't know why, but the fact that the guy most in tune with the Spirit World stopped Katara from going after Aang. Well, either he didn't know what was going to happen, or didn't care. Or he knew - and knew that Katara going after him was going to have far worse consequences.
Chapter seventy-six. And Azula...what is Azula talking about? What happened with Lu Ten? Cuz, I swear, you've spent the entire story telling us that Lu Ten was the perfect heir, was the perfect firebender, was a good man...and now you're implying that he wasn't. But what exactly did Azulon plan to do to Zuko? And Azula - finally, someone validates her. Azula isn't a monster - couldn't be a monster. Someone who is hurt by betrayal, who is loyal, who works so hard to please - they can't be a monster. And the canon line 'My own mother thought I was a monster. She was right, of course, but it still hurt.' Azula always lies. But in this case, only ONE part of those lines is a lie. Boiling water - I thought of the Boiling Rock a few chapters after Zuko used hot water to heal. Figures. Zuko's heading straight into territory that favors him - and almost no one else. And this is what I meant. If you say the Western Air Temple's a few hundred feet off the ground, and what we see in canon are a bunch of upside down buildings in a canyon...how the hell are they close to the sea - close enough that Zuko doesn't die when he hits the ocean. And for that matter - if they're in a canyon, it wouldn't be the ocean, would it?
| envysparkler chapter 89 . 3/11
And here's the third increment!
Chapter thirty-two. I don't remember exactly where I've seen it... Ah, the betobeto... What does Katara mean, 'why?' And what does Yue mean when she answers 'very wise'? That part confused me. And the different healers. Again, like I said, the transition between the dragon's fire plot and this one seemed a bit...off. There was no mention of other healers in the last chapters. Still, I can totally get behind the idea of symmetry.
Chapter thirty-three. 'Lieutenant. You'd make a good pirate.' 'That sounded a lot better in my head.' Oh, god, Zuko. And just how old is Langxue? And yay, Shidan! I love his character to pieces. Just. AWESOME.
Chapter thirty-four. The way Azula describes as Quan, Min and Mai act...that was some good writing. It fit together very well. And I love your notes - they always end up telling me something new. Koh - well, my interpretation of him is that he's the good guy, but I can understand and respect your interpretation of him as well. And I had no idea that the US dropped leaflets that warned the Japanese that they were going to be bombed.
Chapter thirty-five. 'He wanted to protect you from the worst threat the Fire Nation has ever known. You.' Oh, that must've been a slap in Azula's face. 'They can't help Min get away. He already got away.' Ty Lee. You have to love her naivety. And Zuko still cares about his sister, no matter all the horrible things she's done... I'm a sucker for family stories. For people that would destroy the world and kill everyone on it...except for their families. Part of why I love your new take on Azula. And your notes. I swear, I learn more from them then I learn from school. Useless teachers. Anyway, I completely agree with you. You call someone a monster and treat them as if they were human. Severe double standards. And if they were actually monsters, you'd be dead. However, I think what the problem is that people can think that spirits are monsters. Because they look at spirits and they see unnatural. But they look at people and people look alike. No matter how much you hate and fear and curse, there are natural instincts that tell you 'human. same species. not predator, not prey.' Same reason why we identify so easily with cartoon characters. A part of our brain recognizes them as human, even if they are two-dimensional.
Chapter thirty-six. The Roku reveal didn't have nearly as much impact as every other plot reveal, I guess simply due to the fact that the readers and about half the cast already knew. And the fact that Azula can tell that it's her brother simply from the way he's moving. I'm awed yet skeptical at the same time. Then again, it wouldn't be Azula if there wasn't an aura of disbelief around everything she did. And the ending of the train battle. Oh, fuck. That wasn't just awesome, it moved into the realms of LEGENDARY.
Chapter thirty-seven. The earth and water volcanoes - is there a distinction on our planet? Because I'd love to know more. Because there's a huge difference between the volcanoes on Hawaii and the volcanoes in Indonesia. And if the Duo Qang survived, why are they being led by a temple monk? And Kuzon. I feel so sad for him - killed by the very people he tried to protect. Betrayed by those he no doubt considered children. What a terrible way to die. And Shidan's plan - Kuzon was the ONLY person who knew where the airbenders were. When he died, he took that secret with him...but he's not dead. Not quite. And if I get this right - correct me if I'm wrong - the onmitsu existed before the temples were there. The Eastern Temple was harvested for their children. For onmitsu. The Western and Southern were saved by Kuzon. Some of those airbenders became yamabushi. Some...became onmitsu. Like Ja Aku, I presume.
Chapter thirty-eight. ...Whose body does Azula not have? And poor Zuko. How can someone even survive that much misery?
Chapter thirty-nine. Rather short chapter. Shidan. Oh, god, Shidan. I love him. In fact, I want to reach into the screen and steal him out of the story.
Chapter forty. Wow. Jet actually has some brains. And he's still a fanatic. What would the Fire Nation know of loyalty - goddammit why does he think they're fighting, anyway? And Zuko's whole mess about lying - I resemble the term pathological liar on occasion and it was quite difficult to understand why it hurt so much. Court. /giggles/ I've always imagined it as something scary. That nobles must do something, so why not be all sneaky and scary and end and began fights with a single glance. But you take it one level higher, to onmitsu assassinations and Agni Kais and whispers and rumors and setting people on fire. Just. Awesome. 'Okay, I give up. Who are the bad guys?' Langxue is so CUTE.
Chapter forty-one. The Last Airbender. Well, most of us pretend like it never existed. The ones that do make fun of it. It's a horrible movie and they insulted the entire fandom when they made it. And scared off everyone outside the fandom. It's a disgrace to A:TLA. And Langxue says that he wants Zuko to be Aang's firebending teacher, but later on, they say that yaoren cannot be the Avatar's bending teachers. So, which is it?
Chapter forty-two. What do you mean, 'they won't let Aang be another Yangchen?' And Azula's disbelief 'So he helped a man out to rape, pillage and conquer?' Monk Xiangchen was also a fanatic. Have I mentioned how much I hate fanatics? And the little piece of information you dropped. 'People can't fight if they don't remember how. Or why.' Just. Just to imagine a world like that - it gives me a headache. And plot bunnies. Though usually they go hand in hand. A world of peace because war has literally been eradicated... /shivers/ So, Shidan actually has claws in his human form? And when Zuko said that Chihesen couldn't bear...was it some kind of a curse? Only two children - one as heir for Byakko, one as heir for the throne? Azulon's curse?
Chapter forty-three. 'you are just as dead if they kill you with a pointy stick.' Hilarious line, but I think I've seen it somewhere else. Is it a reference? And when Zuko's referring to what his uncle went through six years ago, what is he talking about? Or, more accurately, who? If not Lu Ten, is it Azulon? I find it hilarious that Zuko is a standard for bad tempers. Also, Kyoshi separated the nations because her yaoren friend died. Cause and effect. Very nice.
Chapter forty-four. Fanatics. AGAIN. Also, Mai is awesome. And Mai/Min is adorable. And Ursa's protection...what, do the spirits hate Byakko or something?
Chapter forty-five. Are you using Japanese or does 'Kaasan' mean mother in Chinese as well? And the Touzaikaze appear at last. Though the Earth King... /snickers/ That was hilarious.
Chapter forty-six. Azula...this is about where I start liking her character. She's ruthless and cruel, but dragon-child or not, she is still human. Are you ever going to tell us the rest of Ryuuko-hime's story? It was quite interesting. And one point I wanted to raise about Meixiang. I understand that she knew a lot about the Fire Nation, but I thought it was a bit odd that someone who moved to the Earth Kingdom from a young age and lived there for more than a decade would still remember everything from her old life, especially given that she probably never thought she had to remember.
Chapter forty-seven. The Shirong and Saoluan and Shidan - the names are too similar. It's just - when I write, I try to make sure that the names won't be mistaken for another. Because I read fast - I skim, more like it. And sometimes things get mixed up. Just a suggestion. If you think hybrids were bad with 'half-elves', you probably shouldn't read Pokémon stories. Where if you leave two Pokémon together, chances are that you're going to get a completely different egg. And Pokémon don't usually mate in the same species.
Chapter forty-eight. The comb. /laughs/ Ohmigod, the comb. That story was hilarious. Also - Lim. Pure evil. I love the girl. Azula is just awesome. Also - I totally agree with you about fairness. So many people say that life isn't fair - haven't they ever considered that maybe life shouldn't be fair? In other words, the age-old battle between equality and justice. I understood this clearly for the first time in 'A Wrinkle in Time'. Where everyone is alike and the world is so horribly wrong. And what do you mean, Avatar Kuruk and a guy out for groceries? Where was that?
Chapter forty-nine. 'The Avatar balances the whole world. Or is that...just a legend?' The line sent chills down my spine. That - that was cold, sharp, cutting.
Chapter fifty. And here's the reminder that though Azula is scary and ruthless and powerful, the Fire Lord is worse. Aww, turtle-ducks are so cute. But I've never heard of crown fires and ground fires and grass fires. Actually, I didn't even know there were ground fires. Fire can stay underground?
Chapter fifty-one. I can totally understand the frustration when someone won't listen. And I commend Temul for not charring the elder where she stood. That must've taken a lot of willpower. And the defiance to face down Fire Lord Sozin - Temul was brave. And I'm really starting to hate Aang. How can one person be such an idiot? I know I don't like admitting I'm wrong, but I can at least admit it to myself!
| envysparkler chapter 90 . 3/11
Okay, apparently there's a word limit. /facepalms/ I should've thought of that. Anyway, my super long review will now be posted in increments.
Chapter fifteen. If bending hot water is so difficult that even Azula struggles with it, how come Jinhai finds it so easy? I know I've mentioned it before, but I love how you portray the Dai Li in this story.
Chapter sixteen. Luli's and Huojin's bantering was nice. You - gah, I don't know how to say this properly, but your words are precise. You make every one count. Each enhances the story and provides another implication in a pattern of foreshadowing. I can't do that - I prefer long-winded explanations. My stories wouldn't know foreshadowing if it hit them in the face.
Chapter seventeen. And Jet's policy of deadly vengeance in the names of those you love comes back to hit him in the face... The fight with the haima jiao? Awesome. 'I have great faith with your ability to irritate anything'.
Chapter eighteen. And every time I think Zuko's started healing, you show another one of his scars.
Chapter nineteen. 'Senior Executive Assistant Manager' talk about a load of superfluous adjectives. And dragon's rage - how, with a family that full of dragon-children, is Zuko the only one to whom this happens? Aang. Poor, naive, irresponsible Aang. I feel like shaking him until he understands or possibly hitting my head against a wall. Needless to say, you've characterized him very well.
Chapter twenty. I love the Gaang, and sometimes I forget that they're just kids. Kids who don't realize that life isn't fair and that people's actions don't make sense. Zuko's plan is incredibly thorough. But you used a huge paragraph to describe it - it's kind of irritating to read huge paragraphs. Jet is a fanatic and I feel like stabbing him through the screen. I don't even know how your story can make me feel so frustrated at fictional characters.
Chapter twenty-one. Mai and Zuko's confrontation was very well-written. And I know that you weren't going for Katara bashing, but this chapter just made me hate her a thousand times over. Which is odd, given the Katara is my second-favorite character, right after Zuko. And your explanation about sinking the Maiko ship was perfect - I've been looking everywhere for an explanation that tries to say, 'no, I don't hate Mai' and there it is. And I think the Sun Warriors were the latest in the creators' decision to throw every random culture they could.
Chapter twenty-two. Katara's thinking is so alien, I'm STILL trying to wrap my head around it.
Chapter twenty-three. And it takes Toph, yet again, to pound sense into their heads. And the Great Divide was quite a controversial chapter - Aang doesn't care about who's right and who's wrong, he just wants peace. And the Wendigo... /shudders/ I remember watching the Supernatural episode on that. I kept my eyes closed and my ears shut for most of it. And thank you for the snippet on Inuit culture. It's easier to understand where Katara's coming from. And actually, the sun DOES set. There's a scene when Iroh is telling Zuko to go to sleep and the light seems as if it's sunset. Of course, this is before they reached the poles, but they couldn't have been too far away.
Chapter twenty-four. Last interaction with canon - code word for 'here's where everything starts going screwy'. Mai and Min are so cute together!
Chapter twenty-five. You gotta love the Suzuran. And one thing's always confused - what exactly is the range of titles? Because I know what Captain means, but is Lieutenant directly after that? And where the hell does Sergeant fit into the whole scheme of command? The genealogy took me three rereads to understand. So, just to clarify, Zuko's great-grandfathers are Roku, Sozin, Kuzon and a dragon. Of course, his great-grandmothers are Ta Min, Ran, and TWO dragons. Of which one is Makoto. And I can totally believe that the Fire Nation hated Air Nomads. I mean, I still feel like strangling Aang every time he says he doesn't want to kill and refuses to give an alternative. And the last line just about sums up every one of Aang's ideas.
Chapter twenty-six. 'Looks like treason didn't kills me. Let's find out who else wants a shot!' Ah, typical Zuko. This is about where Katara and Sokka switch roles of the reasonable one and the immature one. And yes, I really DO want to know what blew up in your backyard. I feel like slamming Katara against a rock. Why must people be so frustrating? On the other hand, if you can write so well that even your READERS are getting pissed off with the character's actions, you're obviously doing something right. The whole thing with dragon blood reminded me of Harry Potter and Ollivander - 'He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named did great things. Terrible...but great.' And the whole Fire Nation having one Fire Lord did seem a bit odd, given that the Earth Kingdom has many kings and I'm assuming that there isn't just one Water Tribe at each of the poles.
Chapter twenty-seven. Okay, given that Yangchen was Avatar a millennia ago, and Kaze was reborn into Lu Ten...does this mean that reincarnation is not always immediate? Or does it mean that you keep on getting reincarnated? Cause Langxue's complicated story was messing with my head. And what exactly did Yangchen mean, forgive me? And where did the fire blast come from? I love your setting transitions - 'Shirong, stay alive and stay away from Azula'. Oh look, there is Shirong is, doing the exact opposite. I used to live in a fire ecology - prairie, to be exact. I remember there was a university which had a garden in which only natural plants were cultivated - they achieved this by setting fire to the garden every two weeks. And Kyoshi's earthbending actually cut only a small part. They were on a peninsula. Chin's Army had run away. [And I always wondering how the footprint is in Chin Village when Chin died because the rock face broke off and took him with it.] So, there was no forests and farmland. I agree, things might've been a little unstable for awhile, given that she'd pushed a large tract of land away from the main continent, but Kyoshi's earthbending directly impacted on bare earth.
Chapter twenty-eight. The aftermath of Zuko's healing... /winces/ Ouch.
Chapter twenty-nine. 'You're not human'. And the best part - Min was right. I swear, every time Pai Sho gets mentioned, everyone assumes it's something to do with the White Lotus. And they're right. I want to see somewhere a person who's good at Pai Sho and has no connections to the White Lotus. Conspiracy of chess indeed...
Chapter thirty. 'He said you wouldn't be hurt.' Pause. 'He never said for how long.' Oh, this line sends shivers down my spine every time I read it. It's one of those lines that you remember forever because ohmigod it stopped you right there and made you read it over and over again just to have that delicious thrill that only carefully crafted words can give you. And double standards. Ah, how fun it is to throw them back in people's faces. And I can totally see where Zuko is coming from. Sometimes it's easy to hiss poison-laced words until people finally get it. And sometimes you need to back that person into a corner and refuse to stop until they listen. Part of what frustrates Zuko about the Avatar, I'm sure - you can't back Aang into a corner. Because when you do, the Avatar Spirit comes out to play. Five-score symbols easy enough for a child to learn? I had trouble learning fifty. And that was the basic set for my mother tongue. Granted, I never tried learning Sanskrit, but still. Also - I agree with you on the Kataang front. That's one of my main points - how the hell can Katara be with someone with a relationship like that? And that's why most of us turn to Zutara - Zuko definitely does not want to be mothered and yet sometimes he needs to be. And Katara may not want to be protected...but sometimes it's for the best. [And I just realized I drifted off into a shipping rant. Well, I guess it's common for the A:TLA fandom, where every other word is something to do with shipping.]
Chapter thirty-one. Noseless, earless corpse...ugh. And I get that Aang doesn't know about families and Water Tribe is all about families...I just didn't feel like it was that off. Instead of parents, they had teachers. It just didn't seem like that big a deal to me. In my version of the Air Nomads, the monks and nuns were either adults who wanted to join the temples, or children that parents didn't want to be burdened with. After all the 'Nomad' in Air Nomads had to come from somewhere. And I always felt like it was a choice, serving the temples. And this is where I felt a bit jarred. For all this time, it was defeat the Fire Lord, undo Kyoshi's damage, and now we realize that the damage began with Hirata's death and continues to this day. That even airbending is out of balance. That this was all Koh's plot from millennia ago. It just felt weird. 'The smile that means someone's dead, they just haven't stopped breathing yet.' LOVED that line. To pieces. The flutter-hornet thing? I spent about two seconds laughing before I realized it was completely true. And I know Toph is badass. I love seeing badass Toph. But where's the little girl who wanted her parents to accept her? And Toph may be awesome - but she's also a twelve-year-old girl. And as much as she know about the Fire Nation and the world, she can't always solve the Gaang's problems.
| envysparkler chapter 91 . 3/11
First of all, I wanted to say that I LOVE your story. To pieces. It's one of the best A:TLA fics I've ever read and portrays one of my most favorite characters in a role I've always want to see him play.
I'm talking about Zuko, of course.
I have to say, the summary didn't really draw me in, and I balked at the number of chapters [I think it had hit eighty when I first started reading] so it took me awhile to start reading in the first place. After some time, though, I got tired of seeing your story at the top of every favorites list, so I read. And read. I think I finished it in two days.
And that was the first time I read it. Currently, I'm reading it for the fifth time, and the story still doesn't disappoint.
I'm sorry to say that I've been lurking for the past few chapters because I didn't have the time to review like I wanted to. So, sorry for the ultra late review. Also, this review is going to compound EVERYTHING I wanted to say for the entire story. So it might be a bit long.
I love how you portrayed Zuko. His character development was kinda screwed up in the show - it was there until the end of the second season, then Zuko suddenly reverted back. Now, you can see Zuko develop, slowly, until he finally breaks his loyalty. Even after that, all he wants to do is protect his people.
And, of course, the other characters. I absolutely LOVED Shidan and Shirong. Both of them were some of my favorite characters - the first simply because he's a DRAGON [how much more badass can you get?] and the second because he shows a good side of the Dai Li that you rarely see. 'Avatar Kyoshi created us to serve the city, not one man', indeed.
The inclusion of spirits was a very good idea. Aside from Hei Bai and Koizilla, we don't see many spirits wrecking havoc. The haima jiao and the plague kamuiy were nice touches and drew me even further into the story. And Koh's and Makoto's evil plan, Temul's revenge, the Painted Lady's justice...this is one of the best plots I've ever seen.
One thing I felt was a little off was Iroh's change. From the beginning, he's there for Zuko, he's helping him and teaching him and trying to show him that there are other choices then following the man that nearly killed him but at the end, he usurps Zuko's authority. [Of course, you wrote it so well that I immediately began hating Iroh] I just don't think that was something he'd do. Meh.
And I loved Azula's character development. I always felt like she could be so much more than what she was and your story turned her into one of the good guys.
One thing I noticed is that the story starts off as a basic AU with the divergence point being the ostrich horse. However, it soon spirals into a complete AU, with changes that happened way before anyone was born. And it doesn't seem planned. I remember reading and noticing a sudden shift and wondering how the story suddenly jumped track. If you plan on going back and editing the beginning chapters, this might be something to look out for.
So, my reviews, from the beginning.
Chapter one. Considering how long it took for me to click on the story, chapter one draws the reader in fairly quickly. Zuko's introspection on the Earth Kingdom and the little throwaway to his mother's disappearance was very well done. Of course, the sentences are disjointed but I'm pretty sure that's just your writing style given that that's how the story goes. And since it works so well, I really have nothing to complain about. I don't think canon ever confirms that Ursa was a firebender, but it makes sense that Sozin's line would only marry the strongest firebenders to produce the strongest offspring. [and given that some of those strong firebenders are dragons, they succeeded only too well.] And I'd always wondered why Zuko's eyes were palest gold when everyone else's was dark gold. And Zuko's grumbling is hilarious. 'Please let there not be any poisonous rocks' I spent five minutes laughing at that line.
Chapter two. [I've just realized that this is going to take awhile] Zuko makes a good point. Someone trained to conquer the Earth Kingdom WOULD know a lot about it. Though, technically, Iroh should know more, given that he actually DID some of the conquering. 'How do I learn anything? The hard way.' Oh, yes, Azula did probably sabotage her brother more times then anyone knew. If she was ruthless enough to set fire to an apple on Mai's head... Is it strange to say that I completely love her character? And Iroh's right about Azula. Even when she infiltrates Ba Sing Se, she does so as the Kyoshi Warriors - honored guests. Whereas Zuko and Iroh pretend to be refugees. And I love how Iroh gives that proverb on dragons and mountains for Zuko to tell him that dragons are dead. That was well played.
Chapter three. Poor, poor Ping. I can't imagine how horrific that must have been. People can be so cruel...and, of course, spirits feed on that cruelty. I love how Zuko and Asahi react to each other. They're adorable. And the whole loyalty thing. This one of the points I felt came out of nowhere. You introduce loyalty from the beginning, but deal-breaking for the Earth Kingdom and family for the Water Tribes and the Way for the Air Nomads seemed to randomly appear.
Chapter four. 'But who was supposed to protect me from her?' This line, I feel, accurately sums up the relationship between Zuko and Azula. And I have a question - Katara is not a healer, as you've claimed so many times. She had one class and heals mostly by instinct. So, at this point in time, does that make her better than Zuko? I know that after Zuko studies with a healer, he's much better but now... And I find it disconcerting that Katara's the level-headed one now, but Sokka switches roles later on.
Chapter five. I think they knew that Zuko was the Fire Lord's son. Also, something confused me here. One second, Iroh agrees to consider shooting lightning at Zuko, the next second he snaps. I thought that was odd.
Chapter six. 'Dragons have always hated archers.' 'Like trying to hatch a stone.' I love all these little hints you dropped before Iroh finally released. And your implications about the first fight Zuko got into... /shivers/ A:TLA didn't cover anything as dark as that. It took me about three re-reads to figure out that the prayer slip meant to set Red Ling against a Fire Nation raiding party. It was a bit too obscure. And you're right - anyone who can break into a fortress and break out the Avatar, possibly the highest-ranking prisoner the Fire Nation has ever had is more than experienced with self-defense. And Aang's whole 'I will not kill' irritated me to pieces.
Chapter seven. Zuko's made a very good point. Aang is twelve and realistically, he should be nowhere NEAR a war. Considering that usually, the Avatar starts his training at SIXTEEN...yes, Aang is not ready. And so many people wait for him because while they can fight, they need a leader. Everyone does. Said leader does not have to be the Avatar, but he is the most likely option.
Chapter eight. Ah. Jet. I hate fanatics, but I must admit you wrote him very well. 'A uniformed platypus bear.' /snickers/ Wait a minute. There ARE uniformed platypus bears. And Amaya's spirit-water thingy is the coolest thing EVER. And rereading this chapter when you already know what's going to happen is fun. I love your author's note.
Chapter nine. Oh, and the hints to Kuzon. It's so much fun picking up the foreshadowing when you already know what's going to happen. And for some reason, no matter what AU fic I read, it ALWAYS has a scene with Zuko shouting at the universe to strike him down. Always. Is it part of some kind of Zuko code or something? And I caught the waterbending the first time around, and enjoyed watching Zuko try to explain it away.
Chapter ten. Zuko gives so much away, just by a simple conversation. It's kinda funny, actually.
Chapter eleven. Ohmigod the bear. THE BEAR. I nearly died laughing, I swear. My whole family kept shooting me strange looks. It's hilarious no matter how many times I read it.
Chapter twelve. I love Suyin - she's also up there on my list of favorite characters. The perfect balance between mature and eager and she's a sweet kid to boot.
Chapter thirteen. The story of the first firebenders - were the two Kingami and Ryuuko-hime? And it's sad how matter-of-fact Zuko is about everyone trying to kill him. Though after the number of assassination attempts he's been through, I don't blame him. A natural - am I right in assuming that this is someone who learns on their own? Like Toph, creating her own forms? On that note, yes, it's easy to see that Aang and Azula are prodigies...perhaps Katara as well.
Chapter fourteen. Strangled by an umbrella. /laughs/ Every time I think this story is heading somewhere serious, you throw in more humor. Mixing them together is risky but you've done it very well. Jinhai's training confused me a bit. First Zuko tells him that 'I don't want to' is never a reason to stop. Then when Jinhai says 'I want to stop', Zuko lets him go. Kinda tangled up my reading and I still don't understand it after the fifth reread. So, clarification? Please? [Or my mind will never let this go and it will all be your fault.] And I wonder what are the eighty-five kinds of jin... You explain Jinhai's training very well - if bending existed, I'd have no doubt that you'd be a teacher. What's the Water Tribe and Air Nomad versions of hide and seek? Also, my interpretation of the Roku/Sozin debate was that Zuko had the blood of both of them, warring inside him - two different destinies. That meant that he had the choice between good and evil, not that everyone else was evil.
Chapter fifteen. If bending hot water is so difficult that even Azula struggles with it, how come Jinhai finds it so easy? I know I've mentioned it before, but I love how you
| envysparkler chapter 1 . 3/6
There is a fan trailer for Embers.
www . youtube watch?v dcy88XQ03R8
Remove the spaces.
Or type in 'embers fan trailer' in the youtube search box. It's the first video that shows up. [by insanity rider]
| envysparkler chapter 1 . 3/5
Fan trailer for Embers.
ww w . youtube watch ? v dcy88XQ03R8&feature
Remove the spaces
| Ginnya chapter 91 . 3/5
When I first heard of the story, it was from my sister few months ago. She couldn't shut up about it. And because she has impeccable taste I believed her that the story would be good and I decided to wait for it to be completed, before even starting to read it, as I HATE waiting in anticipation for a next chapter to arrive.
I started reading it on the 14th of February and could NOT stop reading. Somehow I managed to read the whole of it in about 5 days. For the first time. since then I have managed to read it at least 4 times in a row! That's how awesome it is. The day I started reading it I didn't even go to sleep. I just needed to find out what happens next.
It's mindbogglingly brilliant. After reading it and deliberately re-watching few episodes of the TV series. I found them lacking in something. You took cannon and made it better. So much better. I know it is a show for kids and some of the issues addressed are mellowed down so they can understand them and not be scared, but the way you rewrote the most of second and third season? It made the original story sooo much better.
I especially love all the original characters you introduced. Shidan the most. And Teruko, and Shirong. I even cannot find the right words to express how brilliant this story is. All the things you added into the original universe feel like a natural extenshin of what should have happened. the way you based them was very well thought out and jsut fit into the original verse. well almost everything I didn't really feel that awed with the implications that the humans in the world of avatar arrived by the Stargate. Though the way you presented it was only implied therefore left for the reader the space to say: naah it happened a little bit differently". However I must admit that seeing the expressions on the SG1 when they face up with bending... no matter. the important thing that I want to say is that I love this fic.
I hope I can look forward to seeing something more of this Au you have created. I would really love to see how Zuko finally has the chance to meet the whole of his family. or how Teruko and Toph carry out their little deal, I would actually be curious to know what happens with Jet! And how Aang deals with the fact that he isn't the only air-bender and that there was more than just the temples he knew. not to mention I would love to see the look on his face when he realizes Shih was actually his dad...(at least that is how I understood it in the end). Oh and Sokka, that is one big bag of trouble, that I must know how it gets untangled.
I could probably continue singing praises for the next several days, but I am sure you have heard all of it by now. I suppose I could go through every chapter (again) and write up all the things I liked about it etc. but I suppose that would be like a broken reccord to you. So I will just sum it up in this. I loved that you picked up all the plot holes and many of the things I myself felt were not right in the show (Zuko stealing that Ostrich-Horse, the lack of explanation of what happened to the fleet at the north Pole, how could the fire nation killed our ALL of the air-benders when they could fly and they must have at least seen the tanks or dragons coming, not to mention that there must have been some air nomads somewhere outside the temples as non benders) and re wrote them into a logical or plausible explanations or situations. I really liked how you added depth into the original characters. Especially Katara and Aang. The goody-two-shoes of a pretty girl always grated at my nerves. The way you wrote her? That was very realistic and natural for me to read. Even if I wanted to smack her most of the time. I also loved all the details and background research you managed to put into the story.
Well to sum it up, this story was utterly brilliant. Now all I have to do is go and read it again. Thank you for sharing it with us. It brought me joy I haven't felt in a long time.
| Nate-Mihael chapter 91 . 3/5
I could go one for days about all the awesomeness of this story, but I'll keep it brief (relatively).
Great story! Every chapter made me laugh at least once, and made me think deep thoughts a lot of the time too. Needless to say, Avatar was never quite the same after reading the first 3 chapters of this, but worth it. Commendable effort and research has (obviously) been put into this, and I'm still going through the bibliography (Meditations on violence was a great recommendation). The depth was staggering, realisticaly so. Humans are complicated indeed.
Points of critique, though: maybe a bit TOO complicated. There were quite a bit of contradictions and oddities/mistakes that would not slip through in a less ambitious piece of work (misplacing Fongs fortress by a quarter of a continent, for one). But more than that, your have a very strange style of writing. Its like listening to someone else having a conversation on the phone: you hear it loud and clear, but you only hear half of it, which grates on peoples nerves (scientificaly proven, I'm afraid: the most annoying sort of conversation is the one you only hear half of) and your style kinda does that all the time. You get a general picture of whats going on, but you have to guess and reread a lot, where one or two sentences more wouldve made it all clear as day.
That, and the 'realisation structure' which starts with someone monolouging in their head, and then break it off suddenly to go 'Oh, oh!' or 'Oh, dang it' got old after the first 3 times. After a 100 times, its downright eyerolling.
I guess it says something for your story that it remains as good as it is despite that. Embers is/was huge. Hope you continue Scarlet and black. That one has potential. _
ps: loved the Toph Zuko dynamic. Hilarious and adorable.
| a request chapter 91 . 3/2
Please make Aang and Katara stable.
I know you know that the two as a couple as they are is one of the Things About To Blow Up, if they aren't fixed. And they aren't, according to the Legend of Korra. And they don't deserve that. Their kids don't deserve that.
But their kids don't deserve being wiped out of existence either either (fuck the revival of the air nomads if some shithead that's more important than the kids).
Their kids are great people, even with their share of burdens- an airbender desperately wanting a father who is going to balance out the Avatar (look up the orgins of the original Avatar), a waterbender traumatized by her family's relationships and unwilling to let it tie her down but still keeps it together, and an ingenous nonbender with a knack for storytelling and the strangest luck I have ever seen who is often overlooked.
Zuko is way more stable than his canon counterpart is and ever will be. Please make it the same with Katara and Aang too. Their kids deserve better.
P.S: I love your Toph. I wonder what did Aang in at the tender age of 40 or so...
| Kokoni chapter 21 . 3/2
This chapter makes me ship ZukoxJia so hard.
| Nyx Nox Night chapter 90 . 3/3
I loved this story. I just re-read it so I could get the full affect of it all at once, rather than chapter by chapter separated by time. It is so well written, and I love the research blurbs at the end. I really hope there is some sort of sequel/more in this world. I look forward to your future writings. The review is here b/c I apparently already reviewed the last chapter.