Reviews for The Serpent's Apprentice
X3runner chapter 9 . 19h
Where is kakashis sharingan what did naruto do with it .
Mari Wollsch chapter 9 . 5/24
super, hope you update soon xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Penguin Thug God chapter 9 . 5/23
Loved the chapter and hoping for more, with no pairings please. I'm sorry I just find that when people pair, the character changes and the whole story slowly ends up being about the pairing. I hate stuff like that and the whole "Naruto x Hinata, Naruto x Sakura, Naruto x Harum, Naruto x Sasuke etc..." is getting old
Bored321 chapter 9 . 5/20
Reread the first chapter. AN mentioned that a pairing was lined up. Is this still in-effect (not the pairing itself, but pairings in-general)?
Bored321 chapter 9 . 5/20
Pain’s PoV could use some work; it’s static. With Naruto, Haku or even Orochimaru, they’re perspective is more vivid and detailed. With Pain, it’s more bland and monotonous narration. He’s got a set of the powerful eyes on the planet, so his perception of others should be all-compassing.

On that note, I find Zetsu to very bland. Black Zetsu talking like that wouldn’t prove particularly surprising, but White Zetsu isn’t as formal. He could use some more personality. As could Itachi. Even Itachi should’ve at least flinched or displayed some sort of tell that Sasuke was killed and he now has to die bearing the full brunt of his sins. All the effort he put into torturing him proved to be utterly pointless. He put Sasuke through hell and back, and now he has nothing at all for his efforts.

Think you’re exaggerating Zabuza’s state of befuddlement at Naruto off-handedly mentioning he’s creating jutsu. Where does Zabuza think all the jutsu he uses came from? If it were something like hiraishin or shadow clones (EXP stacking feature), then his reaction would be appropriate. But Naruto never eluded to what kind of techniques he was working at, merely stating that he some ideas for new ones. Are variations of futon and katons not considered “new”? Are revisions and remaking’s not enough to classify a technique as being “invented”? Or is Zabuza just a snob at this sort of thing?

I liked the Jiraiya and Tsunade segments (they have a great dynamic), but have mixed feeling regarding Konoha Team # 1. Is this going to be a trend, following the exploits of Team Gai and Team Ten, or will it revolve around the other Konoha teams to provide some closure? Also, don’t think Gai shouting “No!” once counts snapping. Most of time it’s proceeded by a rant of some kind explaining why a character is so against that course of action.

Have Gaara learn taijutsu to try and handle Naruto? Baki’s suggestions seems out of place. Naruto’s proven to be more dangerous up close than not, so Gaara using his best (and only) means of attack to herd him into close-quarters rings hollow when that’d put him at more risk than not. Still, if he actually makes something of the art, it could prove interesting; having him fold his arms while having sand fight for him gets dulls when repeated so many times.

I like that Gaara’s still an unrepentant murder. Hopefully he remains instead of succumbing to his more passive canon-self. The moment after the end of Konoha-nins fight made for very nice twist. I even liked Shikamaru’s speech. It’s perfectly reasonable and grounded to get an upbeat reaction

Haku’s silent snarking is amusing, and helps expand both the scene and the character. Wouldn’t minded some more focus on this failed attempt at Naruto sneaking into Kumo, actually. I’d be disappointed if Oro ends up trying to kill Naruto and then gets killed because of it. It’d be such a waste.

Decent chapter. I’d recommend putting a recap at the beginning so as to jog people’s memory, though. Nice work all the same.
Guest chapter 8 . 5/20
Huh, actually having a village, Konoha at that, being disbanded.
I never seen that before, that's rather clever.

Kind of show all those edgy powerful naruto fic aren't all that. If Naruto is really powerful, he'll do something like destroying half of a village. And that's not something anyone could ignore let alone the village itself, eh ?
magicanimegurl chapter 9 . 5/20
I could definitely see that as a path Naruto could have taken with the way Konoha treated him. He is stronger which us cool. I like it so far. Though Im curious where you will take this story and how you mighy end it. I love that Naruto seems happier. Update and write on!
Peter Kim chapter 9 . 5/19
So it will be Oto with Orochimaru and Naruto who will oppose the Akatsuki, Madara and Obito's plans and Oto has taken Konoha's place in the next war against Obito and this time Obito has no undead soldiers to do his bidding which will make Obito's plans harder and harder for Zetsu's plans to bring her back as well.
TheOnlyKing chapter 9 . 5/19
Good chapter, glad you updated...
faust79 chapter 9 . 5/19
fantastic :3
Lonewolf1836 chapter 8 . 4/29
Well gotta say the fuck im left speechless of what has happened great story regardless what im wondering is if naruto will betray them or something ? Also will you pair him up with anyone? Also why dint the hokage issue a order to fall back to where the the uzumaki used to live sure not massive land but easy to defend with the numbers they have and as we read in the origal there is other people of diffrent clan out there in uncharted territory? Also not sure were the akatsuki will be such as will they pursue there goal of all tail beast or will the be the mercenary group helping out for a price? Since konoha is no more not sure were pain and obito will fit in as well so many questions
Penguin Thug God chapter 7 . 4/25
Did you just write Homophobia? um... I'm not sure that's what the fear of seeing blood is called.
Guest chapter 8 . 12/2/2016
super
TheOnlyKing chapter 8 . 12/13/2015
This is genius, you should update
Lord Asmodeus chapter 8 . 12/7/2015
I absolutely adored this story. It's fantastic. Everything was kept rational, no spontaneous growth of godly power, or ideological passion that act as plot armour. Konoha being disbanded I have read two other times, it would be best to kill the remnants I say. The disease of Konoha festers in the heart of its inhabitants. To eliminate an ideology, you must eliminate the knowledge of its existence.
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