|Reviews for Livin On A Prayer|
| Guest chapter 1 . 6/29/2012
oh my grob! I WAN TO HUG YOU! Bon Jovi, ZeLink, AND FMA! GLOB, YOU DESERVE A FUCKIN' HUGE ASS HUG! when i was looking through a list of your stories i saw that this took place in the IR (first thing i thought was FMA/FMA Brotherhood when i saw Industrial Revolution), was ZeLink, and it was a songfic for Bon (FUCKIN') Jovi so i mentaly shrugged and thought "What the hell..."
i am really glad that i chose to read this! when Zelda said that her new manager was WINRY ROCKBELL(!) and that the police were HUGHES, MUSTANG, AND RIZA(!) i fangirled!
| ShadowNinja1011 chapter 1 . 5/26/2012
Ok wow I saw the FMA references with Winry as the manager, Roy and Maes as the two police and the blonde haired woman as Riza! O_o And Legend of Zelda! BEST COMBO EVER-Shadow
| destiny's charm chapter 1 . 4/9/2010
You deserve so much more reviews. I really enjoyed your story
| Angie ZF chapter 1 . 11/17/2009
You're a genius! this fanfic was great! But i felt sad for Link XD But anyway, this idea was very enjoyable! I expect you continue writing!
| DefinitelyNotRob chapter 1 . 10/12/2009
Wow. Definetly good. I almost expected you to name the guy Ganon or something like that. And, other then that, do you hate or like Midna? Just cause, in some fics you have them be all buddies, and one, you have them hate each other. Just wondering. And, you didn't know Livin on a Prayer before you play GH: WT? I mean, i knew this song way before World Tour even existed. Whatever, that doesn't matter. Anyways, sorry about the late review. Anyways, nice fic! Better then I could ever do! (No seriously, check mine out and say something if you don't believe me.
MM: Oh, c'mon, you're not that bad!
Sora: See for yourself.
MM: THIS IS HORRIBLE! MY EYES! I NEED GOOD FANFICTION! *turns to your fic* Sweet, OIHS!
Me: Meanies. Oh well, I'll review next time you post a chapter/story!
| Canada Cowboy chapter 1 . 9/27/2009
Not bad at all. I studied the Industrial Revolution when I was in Gr. 9, and we were asked to write poetry in the eyes of these workers. One of my best friends used a song as his theme, but instead of using Bon Jovi, he went with "Show me the Meaning of Being Lonely" by the Backstreet Boys. So to an extent, your story actually brought back some memories.
The main thing I see is that you didn't do enough to get inside Link's head. In my homework assignment from Gr. 9, we were asked to really step into the mold and place ourselves in the Industrial Revolution. While I see shades of his fear and such in various parts, I didn't see that impacting line of paragraph that wrapped up how he felt with the country going into this new stage. What changes were there? How had this changed from the last generation? What were his working conditions like? How did he cope with losing his job and being on the streets begging for another one? Give us something more impacting, and perhaps we can envision the situation better.
Otherwise, this is a very interesting fic. I haven't seen a Hyrule modernization fic in these aspects before, so I think you did something very creative, and I certainly hope you can continue along these lines.
| 272387346 chapter 1 . 9/27/2009
I love that song :)
And you did a great job of making a FanFic out of it, even if it is a little dark, but hey!
Have a cookie :)
| Wavebreeze chapter 1 . 9/27/2009
I always loved this song, it is such a classic! :D The action was very well done and it was fast paced.
Wow, his boss is such a bully! Haha.
“'Sounds great!' Zelda giggled, putting the chopped celeries into the now- red mixture of vegetables." I think it was a little choppy right there. She shouldn't be so happy right away, at least make it a forced giggle or half-hearted, you know what I mean? And that reminds me, nice job keeping us wondering about Link's secret. I had a feeling it was something about abuse (since you like it so much :p) but you revealed it very well.
This story reminded me a lot of the early 1900s. Big industries were becoming very popular and so was poverty. Beatings and strikes and child labor were very common back then. Last year I had to do a giant project on it, which was pretty gruesome. Although this isn't America or anything, it fit in rather well, except the dinner on rollerblades was more 50s but whatever. It's your story after all!
That being said, I think describing the house would have been a good way to display their class. Normally, tons of people would share one tiny house or, in your case, they'd get something really cheap and run down. Maybe you could mention peeling paint, lots of drafts, and stuff like that to show their life a bit more.
Lastly, the point of views kept changing from first and third, which is a problem. I think you wanted mostly 3rd person, but I figured I'd mention it.
This was a really good songfic oneshot thing! I liked it a lot and the references you made to the song was well done. Most of the song is chorus without much story behind it, so I think you did great reading between the lines!
| ScarredWords chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
I shall counter, with my songfic, hopefully, for your little contest.
Anyway, other than some repeating errors, like an overuse of the word 'sorry' in the beginning, but not much overall. I am certainly surprised we didn't get a "You're boss is Ganondorf, etc etc".
For the record, I challenge you to a Wii Guitar Hero.. AKA 3 and World Tour, since I don't have a copy of 5 at the moment.
P.S. If you're willing to buy some paint and a Nerf sword for a Master Sword PM me for a photo of them stock. Trust me, you'll believe it when you see it.
| Lady.Zayriah chapter 1 . 9/26/2009
Aw! That was so sad and cute! Job well done!