Reviews for Lily and the HalfBlood Prince
FireLordAzulon chapter 137 . 1/27/2014
I have a lot to say about your story so be prepared:

This is my favorite Harry Potter fanfic ever. It may be my favorite fanfic ever in general (there is only one that may tie with this)! I love how you incorporated everything from canon into this story and made it all make sense. I think you captured Severus and Lily's relationship perfectly. A lot of writers make Severus an obsessed puppy when it comes to Lily or make Lily a little indifferent to Severus. But you made their relationship consistent with their characters and believable. It made me sad when I got to the end because I knew what would happen.

The Marauders. Now it seems like you made them a bit unlikable (except Remus) but I think that's more due to Severus's point of view. Some people have complained about this, but remember, roughly 20 years later even Sirius admits that they were idiots back then. It gets a little frustrating how Lily keeps praising James for his bravery even though it often just makes things worse, while Severus is usually the one who has a plan to save them all but gets little praise! The only I have a problem with is that the Marauders don't target any of the other future Death Eaters. They once got in an argument with Rosier and Wilkes, but never anything very serious. Why is this?

You did a very good job of portraying the Death Eaters in a negative light while still making them sound appealing. I could hardly blame Severus for wanting to join! I thought you gave his Slytherin friends good characterization. It was clear that many of them weren't exactly happy about letting a half-blood in their group, but at the same time they couldn't ignore his obvious magical abilities and his background. It seems like Rosier and Regulus are the only ones who actually consider Severus a legitimate friend. Also what ever happened to Nott? He doesn't seem to be part of Rabastan's gang anymore, which was too bad because he seemed to be an interesting character.

The characters Madeira and Severus Prince are perfect! I love their backstories and how they relate with canon events. Was Severus Prince the one who taught Tom Riddle legilimency?

You know what you should do? You should make a family tree of the Snape/Prince family and post in on your deviantart account. I would also like to point out that on top of being a good writer, you are also a great artist. Anyway, I don't know if you'll read this but I would just like to say I love this story and that it is almost as good as the Harry Potter books themselves. I think if JK Rowling read this story she would be proud.
mingshuang chapter 1 . 1/22/2014
Hi,
Dear greeneyes117,
I intend to translate your"Lily and the HalfBlood Prince" into Chinese as I am very intrigued by the story you presented.
I would like to know if you can grant me the right to translate it. Thanks a lot.
Yours sincerely,
mingshuang
excessivelyperky chapter 137 . 1/4/2014
The really sad part is that Severus can't see any way out of his current situation but the path he is taking. He feels obligated to protect Lily and to protect himself, and leaving the Dark Lord really might mean death and ruin to both of them. It's not like Dumbledore would actually protect *him* except to use him, as he did in canon.

Cute bit with the rat. We all know who *he* is.

But of course we all know the Marauders, at least James Potter, will end up being whitewashed so that Lily will fall in love and marry him. Even though 'Don't make me hex you' is clearly the hallmark of an abuser, and that James continues to hex Snape in canon up through seventh year.

It will all be Snape's fault, of course.

He did take too much for granted with Lily, though again, knowing that one is always on trial with someone and has to be constantly forgiven (even when not in the wrong) for anything one might possibly do that's wrong, would be exhausting to anybody. It was clear that Lily would eventually grow tired of forgiving Severus, if only because her beloved housemates kept ragging on him even when he wasn't in the wrong.

The sad part is that he'll continue loving her for the rest of his life, because nobody else will ever bother loving him-at least not in the way that doesn't mean being on trial all the time.

The Marauders won't really change, not in any significant way-after all, they *won*. They'll continue to be beloved and popular, at least with people who don't want to be their targets. James will get the girl no matter what he actually does. So why does Rowling insist that he changed? He had no reason to do so, since no matter what he did, or how he lied to Lily, he won her love anyway. Legend makes him and Lily martyrs and beloved in legend. And we know that Sirius didn't change, or Remus, either-we see too much of them in canon to even go there.

Again, thank you so much for this story, no matter how much it varied from canon (generally, to make Snape look worse). You were remarkably even-handed in your development of both Severus and Lily. But the fact remains that Snape is still in danger from the Marauders, and that nothing at all is going to be done about it.
excessivelyperky chapter 136 . 1/2/2014
Well-we are already away from canon here; Snape didn't use a Dark spell to defend himself in canon.

And for all she says she loves him, she's still not concerned about what her *real* friends are doing to him.

She'll figure out a way to get over him, though. She'll go from someone she fears is Dark to someone she knows is a bully, and has friends to enforce his will on anyone who disagrees with him.

Oh, wait...

Never mind. She'll find a way to rationalize it, and to whitewash what her beloved Marauders do. After all, if they're not Dark, they must be Light! And Light is always good, and always better than Dark. At least that's what Rowling tells us.

At least in your version the conflict is made explicit, instead of leaving Snape guessing.

But is there really anything that Severus could do now to win her love? Or would she just keep making her requirements harder till he finally couldn't meet them? If he dumped Voldemort, and all his Slytherin friends, would he actually survive the process?

I see Lily's problem and conflict all too well. But we all know what path she takes to separate herself from Snape. Unless James really does become a much better person than he was on canon, and we know he doesn't-he's still hexing Snape in seventh year according to Sirius Black-then it could be said that Lily prefers someone who says 'Don't make me hex you, Evans!'.

There are a lot of women who go down that path, and not all of them come back.

Yes, Lily is reasonably angry over "Mudblood" and her memory being wiped.

But is James really that much better?
excessivelyperky chapter 135 . 12/13/2013
No. She won't forgive him this time. Or ever again. Everyone knew this time would come, especially Severus. All her wonderful Gryffindor friends will agree with her, and she will never have to think again about what is right and wrong. It will be quite restful for her, I expect.

And from now on, nobody will ever be on Sev's side.

But then, she was having to forgive him from the very moment they met, so it's no wonder that all of her forgiveness ran out. He was always on trial with her, all the time they were friends.

Now that she's made up her mind, it will be easier and easier for her to see things the way the Marauders do. Note that she didn't even ask herself if he's all right from what they did to him.
excessivelyperky chapter 134 . 11/30/2013
I see how you're not going with the theory I have-that Snape said the 'mudblood' word to make Lily get out of the line of fire after James threatened to hex her-but it's clear that Snape was defending himself from more than one opponent, and so of course he's being punished for how he's doing it. It would have been far better, apparently, for him to be stripped naked so the school could laugh at him, and be dropped on his head for a side of concussion (like in PoA, which was handled in such a hilarious manner).

But naturally, brave Gryffindors are always allowed to attack four on one, and that doesn't seem to detract from their perceived courage. And of course no one is going to bother to tell a teacher how it really happened.

Tell me again why the Aurors recruited the Marauders and not Snape?

However, he knows that Lily is not going to forgive him this time. After all, she's been looking for a reason not to for several chapters now.

Naturally, she'll discover reasons later on why the Marauders were so brave and daring attacking Snape all together; canon says she does. And of course she'll be much angrier at Snape for one word than she will be for anything they do to him, because he deserves it now.
whitealmond chapter 137 . 11/23/2013
I'm sorry it took so long to write this review! I finished your story a month ago, but at the time I was kind of stunned and so overwhelmed and heartsick I couldn't put the words down. I read the whole thing very quickly because I just couldn't stop. Thank you for making such a beautiful, intricate world for Severus and Lily, and showing us how their relationship could have been. I loved the characters, especially your portrayal of Severus; I loved your OCs, especially Severus Prince; and the adventures you had Sev and Lily go through! Such trials would surely forge a bond between them that Severus wouldn't be able to break. The ending was tremendously sad, but also ominous and so powerful and fitting when he wrote "the Half-Blood Prince" in his book. You wove your story into canon so intricately; it's really amazing! What a novel. Will you be writing original fiction anytime soon? I'm sure you can get published.
Burgundy Tiger chapter 1 . 11/21/2013
This story is so good
excessivelyperky chapter 133 . 11/17/2013
Oh, my, Neither can say anything right to the other at this point. Neither one means half of what they're saying to each other, yet both take what the other says to heart.

In short, they're typical teenagers who are in love, sort of, and can't come right out and say it for fear the other will throw it back in their faces.

It would be funny, but this is in the middle of a war, both possess magic, and things can become far more serious than either one expects.

Nice foreshadowing with the greying laundry.

And one has to wonder what kind of life Severus would have with Lily, always wondering if he'd be forgiven for whatever his latest offense was. That started right at the very beginning, and doesn't ever seem to be stopping. What he does is bad enough, but he's being tainted by daring to be in Slytherin, and in canon, that is always quite unforgivable.

But exactly what could he do to change Lily's opinion of him? And would it work? She's as hormonal as he is, and for the same reason. She doesn't seem to want him, but is angry if she thinks he might want someone else. In short, she's pretty normal, too. And she has a right to be frightened by what she thinks he's doing. But she's in no mood to listen to explanations, either; after all, she's getting flack in Gryffindor for defending him (just like Sev gets it for defending her).

Very good chapter.
excessivelyperky chapter 132 . 11/13/2013
Very good chapter about the dilemma Snape is in; he doesn't really have a place with the other purebloods in Slytherin, save rising in the Dark Lord's esteem. He doesn't get any help dealing with the Marauders, who seem to be more active than in the past against him, and Dumbledore has made sure he can't tell Lily the truth about them. I know that he is marching blindly to his doom, but Australia is looking better all the time for him, frankly.

So far Lily is still telling James no. But we all know how long that's going to last, don't we?
Guest chapter 3 . 10/20/2013
Amazing
whitealmond chapter 136 . 10/21/2013
It feels like you just stabbed my heart over and over again.
whitealmond chapter 130 . 10/21/2013
these last few chapters are making me heartsick, since I know what's going to happen. You write so beautifully, and with all their shared experiences, will make their parting even more poignant than in the books, I think.
whitealmond chapter 127 . 10/21/2013
Jesus. That was brutal. I can barely sympathize with Severus now :(
Guest chapter 1 . 10/19/2013
Amazing
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